Pregnant crazy or legit?

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audrinasmommy88

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Ok, so we rent our house from my husbands grandfather. He is in is 70's. My MIL is also on the deed for the house. This is a 4 bedroom house. Two of the rooms are usable. That is our room and my daughters room. Ever since we found out we were pregnant we have been trying to get my MIL over here to get one of these other rooms cleaned out so my son will have a room when he is born. This has been going on since APRIL! We are due in January. I have been begging her to get this room cleaned out before November 10 (baby shower). Otherwise, I will have nowhere to put any baby stuff except in our dining room. She has come over here maybe TWICE since April. She has literally taken out like 5 boxes. This room is packed with stuff. Boxes fill the closet, you cant see the floor, stuff hanging from the ceiling. I am getting increasingly more overwhelmed and stressed out because I cant do anything to get this room ready until she gets it cleaned out. This room hasnt been touched in probably 10 years. So it is going to need a deep cleaning, aired out, painting, the ceiling will need to be painted and fixed. I have been patiently waiting and now im losing patience. The holidays are right around the corner and I KNOW she will not get this done if its not done before the holidays. My solution is to take everything, pack it in my husbands truck and drive it to her house and drop it off. But I know that will cause a lot of problems and fighting if I do that. I dont know what else to do. Am I just stressing for nothing or do i have a reason too? :X Any suggestions would be GREAT
 

whitelop

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Legit.
I would be p*ssed!
I think you should do what you said, pack all the stuff into the truck and drop it off at her house. Thats what I would do. Or you could get a storage unit and put it all in there and have the bill sent to her house.
If it hasn't been touched in 10 years, then she probably doesn't know whats in there, she has no use for it. So donate all of it. Or take it all to the dump. I understand that you rent, we rent also. But you should be able to use ALL the rooms in your house. I think its bs that the stuff has been in there for that long.
Is it like childhood things from your husband? Or is it just a bunch of crap? If its childhood stuff, I would pull all the pictures out, keep them or put them in a photo album. Keep the keepsakes and all the rest can hit the dumpster.
Do you have a lease? Or is it just month by month? I know its difficult to rent from family. We've done it, thats why we live in the house we live in now. A lease is VERY IMPORTANT when renting from family. I think its more important than renting from strangers.
 

audrinasmommy88

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The stuff that is in this room is all stuff from my husbands grandmother that passed away. China, pictures, sewing machine, some antiques. My husbands grandfather doesnt care what happens to the stuff. He would put it on the curb. Its my MIL that wants to go through every single box. If she wants to do that I feel like she needs to do that on her own time at her own house with the stuff there. Not take up my time. The closer I get to my due date, the less I'm going to feel like doing anything. I want to be able to take the time to get this room ready and enjoy doing it.

I dont exactly know what the agreement is with this house. My husbands grandfather wanted to sell us the house but my MIL vetoed that idea. She said absolutely not because she feels the other 3 grandchildren have rights to the house. My husband has talked to his brother and 2 sisters and they dont want the house. My MIL just wants to make everything harder. To be honest, my husbands grandfather doesnt care about the house or the money. The money we pay him for rent, he gives to my brother in law to pay for his apartment while in college. So I think thats why she is so against him selling us the house.
 

Anaira

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Hmm I know it's hard to make a decision about someone without hearing their side, but your MIL sounds like a control freak. Is she an only child?

My solution would be to cram-jam as much as possible into the other room...lol. I'm a terrible procrastinater. :p
 

Blue eyes

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Oh boy. I totally understand your need to get things in order sooner than later.

How about this as a possible solution?
Have hubby explain to his mom (again) the need for the room. Then tell her that he understands her desire to go through it. Explain that whatever is still in the room in ____ (choose time, like 2 weeks from now) will be put into a storage space. Maybe even say you'll pay for the first month's rent on the space. (and only one month)

Then, of course, if she wants to keep it in storage, she'll have to pay for it or else the storage place will sell it off. This puts the responsibility squarely on her and it won't be your fault if she fails to pay storage or remove it from storage.
 

audrinasmommy88

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Ariana, you hit the nail on the head. She is beyond a control freak. She had a half brother and half sister but they were never around. So she was pretty much an only child. The woman drives me nuts. She will text me or email me and if I dont answer within 5 minutes she will text me and ask me if I'm ignoring her. And then continue to text and then call my husband. Everything has to be done on her terms and when she wants it done.

My husband spoke with her and she said she will have everything out by the first weekend of november. MY husband told her that if she doesnt we will pack everything in his truck and take it to her house and she will have to deal with it. Her reason for the first weekend of november is because she is waiting until after the Martinsville Nascar race (they go every year) so she can put everything in the camper when they get back and she can go through it on her own time. Hopefully this is the case and she will have it done or its going to be done on my terms and im not going to be so nice about it
 
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You have a legit problem here, and I like Suzette's idea the best. It gives her a deadline, then a definite consequence that she has to deal with, or have to pay for it. I can see why she might be protective of the stuff and want to go through it herself, BUT there's a severe need for that space! Her having a problem with you being there is ridiculous, and trying to make things difficult for the new baby is really, really b-y
 

audrinasmommy88

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It just makes me mad because I am at the point in my pregnancy where I feel the best. The longer it takes for her to get this stuff out, the less I'm going to feel like doing anything. But she doesnt seem to understand that. Not to mention, I am a high risk pregnancy, So the stress is not helping. But my husband saw just how upset i am about it last night and he is finally on his toes about getting the stuff out. His grandfather has already said he doesnt want the stuff in there, so he told my husband if the stuff isnt about before the baby shower, then put the stuff on the curb. So, I really hope for her sake she gets it done.
 

Nela

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If you are paying for the house you rent, you are essentially paying for the space she is using. If that is the case, I would give her the choice between getting her stuff out asap, charging her for storage, or not paying rent until the house is in rentable condition. ;) I hope she moves her stuff quickly so you can get the space back. You don't need the extra stress! :)
 

audrinasmommy88

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Brandy, you are far from evil. She's lucky I havent done that yet. I wanted to put the crap on craigslist 3 months ago because I was so mad about it. And I wasnt going to tell her. But, my hubby wouldnt let me because he didnt want to fight with her. But this is her last warning and final chance before I knock her head for a loop :)

Nela, i completely agree with you!!!!
 

agnesthelion

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Yes, this is something you totally have a right to be upset about.

I also second Suzette's idea as the best.

First of all, since this is your hubby's mom, technically HE should be the wrong to take control of what is going on. He shouldn't be putting it on your shoulders to find a solution.

He needs to be firm, but fair ( i know it sounds extremely fun and self satisfying to be rude about this, haha) and clean in his expectations. If its not by such and such date or whatever the "rules" are that are set in place, then take action into your own hands.
 

Imbrium

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audrinasmommy88 wrote:
Ariana, you hit the nail on the head. She is beyond a control freak. She had a half brother and half sister but they were never around. So she was pretty much an only child. The woman drives me nuts. She will text me or email me and if I dont answer within 5 minutes she will text me and ask me if I'm ignoring her. And then continue to text and then call my husband. Everything has to be done on her terms and when she wants it done.

My husband spoke with her and she said she will have everything out by the first weekend of november. MY husband told her that if she doesnt we will pack everything in his truck and take it to her house and she will have to deal with it. Her reason for the first weekend of november is because she is waiting until after the Martinsville Nascar race (they go every year) so she can put everything in the camper when they get back and she can go through it on her own time. Hopefully this is the case and she will have it done or its going to be done on my terms and im not going to be so nice about it
how frustrating! this sounds like a good solution - just make sure you don't get talked out of dumping that crap at her house if/when she fails to hold up her end of the agreement!
 

audrinasmommy88

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Jennifer, I refuse to be talked out of it this time. It will be done and she will learn to do something the first time I ask, not the 10,000th time! Im so over this woman.Im done being nice lol
 

audrinasmommy88

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She said she is coming again this weekend to get the rest of the stuff on the floor. The closet has to wait until the camper gets back...so at least by this weekend I should be able to clean the room and paint
 
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