NZminilops
Well-Known Member
I am curious about this, after a long conversation I had with Mathew last night.
He says I'm very much a "this is MINE! That ones YOURS" person, and he hates that about me :?. I don't know if it's a bad way to be or not, but I am. If I've bought something, I think of it as mine, something to treasure. He can use it sure, as he is welcome to use anything of mine, but I still think it's MINE and not OURS.
I think of us as really good friends who share our lives, and love eachother, but I treasure my own stuff and I'm not going to let "me" become too much of an "us" and lose myself.
I feel that way about anything from towels to my computer. I don't know what it is or why but I want to have some sense of independence I guess, and that just because I'm in a relationship I still want to be me with my stuff. And growing up with a brother who was a bit of a needy crybaby type, I always had to give him my stuff if he demanded to keep the peace. So part of me still feels that someones trying to take over my stuff .
For sure, we have "our things" though, that were mine and I think are ours now. My furniture became our furniture, my pets I say are our pets, my crockery and cutlery is ours, my bed is ours, etc etc.
It goes the same way when I think about him though, I think things he buys are his and I am very carefull with them, and if we were to part I wouldn't try and take them.
I have to go now but would love any input. How do you do things? Do you think I'm selfish how I do things?
Michelle
He says I'm very much a "this is MINE! That ones YOURS" person, and he hates that about me :?. I don't know if it's a bad way to be or not, but I am. If I've bought something, I think of it as mine, something to treasure. He can use it sure, as he is welcome to use anything of mine, but I still think it's MINE and not OURS.
I think of us as really good friends who share our lives, and love eachother, but I treasure my own stuff and I'm not going to let "me" become too much of an "us" and lose myself.
I feel that way about anything from towels to my computer. I don't know what it is or why but I want to have some sense of independence I guess, and that just because I'm in a relationship I still want to be me with my stuff. And growing up with a brother who was a bit of a needy crybaby type, I always had to give him my stuff if he demanded to keep the peace. So part of me still feels that someones trying to take over my stuff .
For sure, we have "our things" though, that were mine and I think are ours now. My furniture became our furniture, my pets I say are our pets, my crockery and cutlery is ours, my bed is ours, etc etc.
It goes the same way when I think about him though, I think things he buys are his and I am very carefull with them, and if we were to part I wouldn't try and take them.
I have to go now but would love any input. How do you do things? Do you think I'm selfish how I do things?
Michelle