dreamgal042
Well-Known Member
I feel terrible...like ive been neglecting mybunny. you guys prolly havent noticed, but i really havent been myselflately. all the threads i seem to respond to here recently seem to havebeen OT's. its funny, all those commercials for zoloft and thoseanti-depressants always say 'does it seem like blah blah blah' or 'doyou constantly feel like blah blah blah', and more and more lately ivesaid...yes.
my friends...i would say are treating me terribly, but thats not true.my one friend Gala (her screen name, and the name she asks me to usewhen i describe her to my friends i dont know IRL) is in the marchingband at school, and she's made A LOT of new friends this year. this onegirl, paula, i feel like she's replacing me to gala. they're alwaystogether before school, and dispite t he 10 year friendship we've had,and the 10 week friendship they've had, she seems to tell paula morethings than she tells me. i guess im just jealous. but i feel likepaula sees herself as superior to me. like she's better in the eyes ofellen, thus making it okay to make comments like 'oh, gala i have totell you something....later...' as she looks at me with a look like'whys she here??? doesnt she know we have secret marching band stuff todiscuss?' and the thing that really gets me is that gala does nothing.then my other friend, lori (again, her screen name), is on the tennisteam, and is really busy with that. we have no classes together, andbetween our busy schedules, its really hard to find time to gettogether. plus i have 2 babysitting jobs practically every day, whichis why i have no social life. and thats my choice. I love babysitting,its the most fun thing ever. I joke with my friends that the only timei'll skip babysitting is when im on my deathbed. i was trying to hobblearound my neighbor's house babysitting for her boys on crutches when isprained my ankle for the second time last year. needless to say, shedidnt go for it.
plus my dad has a new girlfriend. it seems like he's more pushy for meto meet this one. he got mad at me cuz, when i came home frombabysitting a few weeks ago, i saw her on *my* couch, in *my* h ouse,with *my* dad, eating *my* food on *my* dishes. (and people say imselfish ) its easier for my sisters cuz they're in a different state,and its easy for them just to ignore whatevers going on. my one sistergot mad when she found out that my dad and his girlfriend went on atrip to virginia (about a 6-9 hour drive) from last friday to sunday,and left me alone all weekend. i guess i just feel like no one reallyneeds me. my friends have their new friends, or their old friends whodont really jump at the seams to hang out with me. my dad has hisgirlfriend. my sisters have each other, and their friends. none of thepeople i talk to online actually *know* me, so i cant really say howmuch they'd notice if i were gone.
i really wish these feelings were normal, but it seems like im the only one i know whos having them.
wow, that turned out longer than i thought it would, sorry for that =\
my friends...i would say are treating me terribly, but thats not true.my one friend Gala (her screen name, and the name she asks me to usewhen i describe her to my friends i dont know IRL) is in the marchingband at school, and she's made A LOT of new friends this year. this onegirl, paula, i feel like she's replacing me to gala. they're alwaystogether before school, and dispite t he 10 year friendship we've had,and the 10 week friendship they've had, she seems to tell paula morethings than she tells me. i guess im just jealous. but i feel likepaula sees herself as superior to me. like she's better in the eyes ofellen, thus making it okay to make comments like 'oh, gala i have totell you something....later...' as she looks at me with a look like'whys she here??? doesnt she know we have secret marching band stuff todiscuss?' and the thing that really gets me is that gala does nothing.then my other friend, lori (again, her screen name), is on the tennisteam, and is really busy with that. we have no classes together, andbetween our busy schedules, its really hard to find time to gettogether. plus i have 2 babysitting jobs practically every day, whichis why i have no social life. and thats my choice. I love babysitting,its the most fun thing ever. I joke with my friends that the only timei'll skip babysitting is when im on my deathbed. i was trying to hobblearound my neighbor's house babysitting for her boys on crutches when isprained my ankle for the second time last year. needless to say, shedidnt go for it.
plus my dad has a new girlfriend. it seems like he's more pushy for meto meet this one. he got mad at me cuz, when i came home frombabysitting a few weeks ago, i saw her on *my* couch, in *my* h ouse,with *my* dad, eating *my* food on *my* dishes. (and people say imselfish ) its easier for my sisters cuz they're in a different state,and its easy for them just to ignore whatevers going on. my one sistergot mad when she found out that my dad and his girlfriend went on atrip to virginia (about a 6-9 hour drive) from last friday to sunday,and left me alone all weekend. i guess i just feel like no one reallyneeds me. my friends have their new friends, or their old friends whodont really jump at the seams to hang out with me. my dad has hisgirlfriend. my sisters have each other, and their friends. none of thepeople i talk to online actually *know* me, so i cant really say howmuch they'd notice if i were gone.
i really wish these feelings were normal, but it seems like im the only one i know whos having them.
wow, that turned out longer than i thought it would, sorry for that =\