Oh no...

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littl3red

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So I had a savings account. This savings account had a few thousand dollars in it which I was going to use for emergency vet bills and moving out. It's. Gone.

My dad called me earlier and told me he's in a really bad situation... He's been having a LOT of trouble finding work. His vehicle got taken away. He's trying to save his house. He needs my money and promises to pay it back as soon as he gets on his feet again. HOW can I say no to that? He's my DAD. :cry4:

But now... I have no extra money put away for vet bills. So now I'm in a really bad situation, because what happens if Teddy or Maya get sick and I can't help them? I mean, my mom's willingness to help me with vet bills I think would have a lot to do with how happy she is with the rabbits, which frankly, is usually not thrilled... I don't know what to do. It used to not be any sort of problem, I couldn't foresee ANY medical expenses that would cost more than I had. It just wasn't an issue. Now I'm panicking... They're not sick, but what if something happens? I can't stand to lose them... My stepdad or grandparents might be a source of money if something happened, because unlike my mother, they understand how devastated I would be in that sort of situation...
 

agnesthelion

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Wait. Did he take the money without asking you?!

Either way, yikes. My honest opinion? I think it's pretty tacky to borrow money from your 17 year old daughter. I don't know your dad so I'm not trying to talk bad about him but geesh, I have a kid and I couldn't imagine taking money from him. :( I just think no matter the problems a parent has (ie repo'd car or house at risk) it's not the kids responsibility.

Plus, there a saying that you can't solve money problems with money. So is the few thousand dollars gonna solve all his problems or delay the inevitable?

Sorry you are in this position. I will hope in the meantime Maya and Teddy stay healthy. I hope your dad can pay you back soon.
 

I_heart_Fraggles

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I would have said no..... Your father should never have considered taking your nest egg for any reason. Did you already give it to him? Parents are not supposed to put themselves ahead of there children and he should not put you in this situation.
 

littl3red

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He asked and I said yes. I don't want him to be in a bad situation, especially because it would mean I might not be able to visit him anymore. He wouldn't be asking if he didn't ABSOLUTELY need to. I don't think he's putting himself before me, it's a bad situation for both of us if he's homeless, carless and jobless.
 

LakeCondo

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Sorry, but you sell your house before you borrow money from your kid, unless either your kid is wealthy or you're elderly & need a guardian.
 

ChandieLee

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Do you have a steady income? What I do is put some money aside in a "bunny fund" just in case. You could start doing that. I know it's not much, but at least maybe you'll feel better knowing you're doing something?
 

whitelop

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My in-laws asked if they could have my husbands college fund when he was like 15 and they promised to give it back when they had it.
He just turned 23 and they've never mentioned it again. AND they have the money to give back to him.
I just hope he gives it back to you. I agree with Lisa, chances are whatever money you give him isn't going to get him out of whatever hole hes in. I'm sorry that you were put in this situation though.
I would have said NO to my dad if he would have asked.

Maybe don't let him have all of the money. Keep some of it for an emergency. Your dad should understand that.
 

Nancy McClelland

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Looking at your situation with my life experience, I don't see how giving him the money will change anything long term. You'll just be out the money and probably never see it again like so many others have stated. One of the reasons we moved almost a thousand miles away--family always wanting me to give them money, even though they claim they want to borrow it--borrow means you pay it back. Got a cousin that needed $3000 to save his house in 1979 and still waiting and that was a large amount of money then and he was gonna pay me right back. My aunt wanted to "borrow" $6000 3 years ago and I told her "NO!" I'd never see it again and she owes me plenty already. I know it's hard saying no, but sometimes you have to or you'll never be left alone and as we all know, saving is a commitment that not everyone can or will do.
 

Bunnylova4eva

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Pray nothing happens for a while with your bunnies' health? I don't know, but only you know your dad. If you know he's going to pay it back, then I say no problem with that. After all, he sounds like its a pretty immediate need. I guess just cut costs anywhere on the buns things and save the excess.
 

Rescuemom

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Hmm... This is a tough situation and I'm sorry your dad put you in it.

I have a father who has borrowed money from me on several occasions. Granted, your father sounds better than mine if that helps at all.

I'm not going to judge or jump to conclusions on your dad as a whole. But I'd definitely do as others suggested and start saving again, as well as start cutting costs where I could, just to be sure.

My fingers are crossed for you and your bunnies, but I do think you'll all pull through okay.<3
 

1357bunnylover

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If one of your bunnies did get ill wouldn't your vet still treat your bunny and you can pay monthly or once you get money? I know where I live all vets let you do this..
 

agnesthelion

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littl3red wrote:
He asked and I said yes. I don't want him to be in a bad situation, especially because it would mean I might not be able to visit him anymore. He wouldn't be asking if he didn't ABSOLUTELY need to. I don't think he's putting himself before me, it's a bad situation for both of us if he's homeless, carless and jobless.
See, that's just it. He put his minor daughter in the position of having to say yes or no to him. That is NOT cool for a parent to do. You are just a kid, 17 I know close to "adulthood", but he's playing on you feeling bad for him to say yes. He is having you, his kid, worry about things that are not your responsibility.

And why wouldn't you be able to visit him?

You didn't do anything wrong by lending him the money so don't feel bad about that. He's in the wrong by even asking you :( believe me, several years down the road, when you are a parent one day and have more life experience under your belt, you will understand what we are trying to say.

Again, I'm so sorry you are in this position. Its not fair to you :(
 

Anaira

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Reading through this thread, gives me just a little glimpse of just how warped my view on parents and money is.
Anyway, I feel it isn't quite right to tell Ashtin her dad is a bit of a jerk for borrowing money of her. Like she said, he is her dad. It...hurts finding stuff out. I would have given all the money I had to my dad, if to just prevent finding out the worst. Sure, I had no respect, and no love, but there was still that parent-child relation. That's completely broken now. I would have preferred giving up all of my income, for the rest of my life, if only to prevent what he did.
 

BlueCamasRabbitry

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I think you might be overreacting. ;)
The chances of your bun becoming ill/injured are probably slim if you take exceptional care of them, correct?

Hopefully your father will pay you back the funds ASAP, and until then you could start rebuilding the savings account as well as you can manage. You could also check to see if your vet allows payments via Care Credit, and then apply for it so that you have it in case of emergencies.

Emily
 

littl3red

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Can I apply for Care Credit if I'm under 18? I assume not, but I'll be 18 in a couple months, but I guess it would be a good way to get some credit, especially if I pay it off religiously...
 

littl3red

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Anaira wrote:
I would have preferred giving up all of my income, for the rest of my life, if only to prevent what he did.
You don't have to answer if it's too personal, but what happened? That doesn't sound good... And I didn't think he was a jerk to do it either. I know he'll pay it back as best he can, and he's my dad and I care for him. I know he's not my responsibility, but he needed some money to get back on his feet and he's my dad and I love him, so I don't want him to be stuck in a bad situation. You need money to get a job. You need a job to get money. I'm just trying to help him get out of that rut. Plus, he just got called back today about a job. It's in India... but it's a good job...
 

ChandieLee

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littl3red wrote:
Can I apply for Care Credit if I'm under 18? I assume not, but I'll be 18 in a couple months, but I guess it would be a good way to get some credit, especially if I pay it off religiously...
I think you can if you have a co-signer who's 18 or older..
 

Blue eyes

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These are tough times economically that we are living in right now. People across the country have found themselves in unexpected financial situations.

I think we (as a country) have been so used to years of prosperity prior to this, that we have forgotten the way things were several decades ago. There was a time when it was a given that older kids would work to help support the family if need be. If it was selling newspapers or whatever, their "income" was considered to be "family income." They were a family and worked together to make ends meet. If teenage Johnny had to work to help put food on the table, then that's what they did.

I wouldn't be so hard on Ashtin's dad. Nor will I be so quick to pass judgement on him. I've seen too many with recession-induced financial trauma over the past few years - too many who are struggling in ways that were unthinkable not too many years ago - responsible people who have just been hit with hard times.

This may have been more difficult and more humbling for Dad than we can understand. Hat's off to Ashtin for being willing to help. :innocent
 
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