O/T Engagement

[Linz_1987]

Ok, well I need some advice from you trusty people!

I am 18 (some people might say 'only' 18) But i have been going outwith my boyfriend for 5 years. I was 12, so I wouldnt of known anything about true love back then,But I KNOW I have found theright person for me. I really think he is the only one.

My question is do you think 18 is too young to get engaged?Ofcoursewe would hav a long engagement, But its just thefeeling ofgetting engaged and knowing thatyou aremeant to be. (you can always break engagement)

Please be honest! I dont care what you think about me lol. Juts please tell me and I will think more about it.

 

[ariel]

Firstly has he asked you or you guys just talking about it?
There will always be people who say such an age is too young, I say go with your heart.
Do you have parents who you can talk to about it? I mean do you have agood relationship with them to talk about it over with them?

I always say trust your heart. If you are unsure don't do it.

 

[Linz_1987]

I am really sure about it all. Im going to talkto him about it tonight but I think I know him enough to know he willsay Yes lol.

But he was joking about it the other day with his mum and she said thatwe are too young to get engaged. And I havent even mentionedit to my parents (too scared lol) But really it shouldnt matter whatyour parents think. I just need some advice badly!

 

[HoneyPot]

Hey there. I guess my advice would have to come from my personal experience...

I have friends that have been dating since they were 13, they broke upand got back together, they're engaged now and they're in their mid20's. They're really happy and like you, found each other ata young age.

I on the other hand have dated several people until finding the rightperson now at 26. I found that I didn't know myself wellenough at 18 to really KNOW what I wanted. What I wanted orthought I wanted out of life and love etc. was REALLY different when Iwas 18 than it is now (8 years later). Life changes a lot inyour 20's.

I'm no expert or anything, I'm just speaking from myexperience. Everyone is in a different situation in life andin the end, following your heart will get you to where you need tobe. But ANY doubts at all, you should wait.



Good Luck!!

______
Nadia

 

[Snuggys Mom]

If it feels right to get engaged, do so, butPLEASE finish your education before you get married and/or havechildren. That's my advice (for what it's worth).

In this day and age, there's PLENTY of time to settle down and have babies later, even into your 30's and 40's.

If I had married the guy I was dating at 18 (or 23, for that matter), it would have been a mistake.

Laura

 

[Linz_1987]

Aww thats Ok, none of us want children anyway.Would rather have a house full of rabbits. Lol, we are both doing a 2yr course at college (but he lives about3 hours away fromme), and when we finish we are planning on moving in witheach other somewhere nearer. We have been struggling with along distant relationship but have always got round it. Butif it never works out with us living together we can always break theengagement which is easier than going through divorce! But i reallythink he is the one for me.

He comes to see me every weekend on the train (a 3 and a half hour journey there and back) I feel so honoured lol.

Thank you very much for your advice! I will be talking to him about it tonight and we will see.

 

[HoneyPot]

Laura wrote:

IfI had married the guy I was dating at 18 (or 23, for that matter), itwould have been a mistake.

Laura

*shudders* Me too!

__________
Nadia

 

[ariel]

If you are still studying maybe youguys could live together first for a while, you never truly KNOWsomeone until you live with them

 

[Linz_1987]

The most ive done is stay at his housefor a week with just me and him, when his parents went on holiday. Andseemed ok. The only problem was with him leaving the loo seat up! But isee where you are coming from.

 

[Lissa]

I was engaged at 18 but never wentthrough with it. Fortunately HE was smart enough to call itoff. I would have married him otherwise. If I had marriedthis man I would have been a battered woman in an unhappy marriage ifnot already divorced. Please be careful and make sure thathe's the one for you. Remember that nothing is going tochange once you get married if bad things are alreadyhappening. Make sure what you both want out of life issimilar. Get everything on the table before you getmarried. Congratulations and good luck!

 

[pamnock]

You never know how life will work out.I was married at 17 and 9 months later had my first of 4children.We'llbe celebratingour25th wedding anniversary June '06.:love:



Pam :bunnydance:

 

[SweetPeasMommie]

There is nothing wrong with being engaged younglike 18. Just as long as you are treated right and he is the right man.My husbands parents was 18 when they got engaged and married.

Congrats if you do get engaged.

 

[FreddysMom]

I say go right ahead and do it! Getting engageddoes not mean you are actually married yet. It still leaves lots oftime for you both to figure out who you are and what you want.

I agree with Laura tho, finish school before anything because if youdont theres always the possibility you may regret it and blame that onyour marriage.

I also have to agree, moving in with eachother is the only way toreally get to knowsomeone. This may not be possible foreveryone b/c some backgrounds do not find it acceptable. I've been withmy b/f for two years and we are moving in together at the end ofJanuary.Granted I love him to death, marriage is no wherenear on my mind. I have 5 years left of graduate school and to try andsqueeze getting married in that time frame would be insane. HoweverIam really looking forward to just being to start a littlething of our own here and be big kids LOL.

In any case, don;t rush yourself. You love him then get engaged havefun. You dont have to go rushing to the altar b/c if you both truelylove each other and its destined to work you will be together and happyregardless of any rings on your finger. Youre 18 you both have lots oftime to grow with each other and find out things about yourselvespersonally and each other!

I do wish you the best

 

HoneyPot wrote:

Laura wrote:

If I hadmarried the guy I was dating at 18 (or 23, for that matter), it wouldhave been a mistake.

Laura

*shudders* Me too!

__________
Nadia

Shudder??? I just thought of who I was dating when I was 18 and I almost ran screaming from the room in horror. Hahaha..

Seriously though, I think when you meet the right person, youknow. I met mine when I was 21but we didn't getmarried until I was 26. I have a friend that married herchildhood sweetheart at 17 and they just had their 25thanniversary.

I would definately hope that you both continue with and complete youreducations. Plus, living together first is an excellent wayto get to know each other in ways you never thought possible.And no, I'm not talking in sleazy ways

 

[Nicky Snow]

FreddysMom wrote:

I say go right ahead and do it! Getting engaged does notmean you are actually married yet. It still leaves lots of time for youboth to figure out who you are and what you want.

In any case, don;t rush yourself. You love him then get engaged havefun. You dont have to go rushing to the altar b/c if you both truelylove each other and its destined to work you will be together and happyregardless of any rings on your finger. Youre 18 you both have lots oftime to grow with each other and find out things about yourselvespersonally and each other!

I do wish you the best

Exactly what i would've said.

My younger brother proposed this Christmas. He and my futuresister-in-law are 23 and 24 and have been going out for 4 years.Everyone says they are too young. When it's right, it's right.

 

[AnnaS]

I think go with your heart. I don't think itsearly, some of our friends got married 18-20 years old and even hadkids andthey arefine now.

Also my parents got married when they were 20, had me at 23. It will be their 30th anniversary next year.

 

[cirrustwi]

I think I may be the one big naysayerhere. I have to say that I think that at 18 the majority ofpeople have no idea what they want for their lives. I justturned 27 and I don't even remember what I wanted at 18, but I know itwasn't even close to what I want now. Shawn and I have beentogether for 3 years and are ready to get engaged and married, but weweren't even a year ago, not because I questioned our relationship atall, but because we still had growing to do.

When I was in college, I dated the same person for 3 1/2years. Everyone thought we would get married. Hismother made us promise not to make any decisions before we were 25,because she said we wouldn't even know who we were untilthen. I have to say, had we moved forward with anything then,it would have been the biggest mistake of my life. I look atour relationship now and think WOW! What in the world was Idoing? I changed so much during our relationship andsince. I started dating Shawn when I was 23 and I am adifferent person since then, but we have grown together, so itworks. But I really don't think I knew what I wanted fromlife until I was 25 and I know some 25 year olds who still don't know.

I'm not trying to say that you haven't met the person for you, but ifhe really is the person for you, then he will still be there, waitingto be engaged and marry you, when you are older and have gone throughschool and had more time to mature and grow together. I'malso not trying to say that marriages don't work when people are reallyyoung when they get married. My parents were 20 and 21 whenthey go married and they lived the till death do we part portion oftheir vows.

This is strictly your decision and I believe that it's a very personalone. Whatever you decide, good luck and I wish you all thebest.

Jen

 

[SweetPeasMommie]

I agree with Jen on that. See I never datedanyone until I turned 22. I met a few guys had one b/f for 2 monthsuntil he cheated on me. So broke it off with him and few months later Imet DJ on yahoo. I knew that he was for me all for me and 3mos later heproposed to me and got married 2 yrs later. It will be 4yrs on April27th and I am very happy that he is the man of my life. Follow yourheart not what you see.

 

[bunnytopia]

my parents have been together since they werevery young, they had their 1st child at 16 married at 17 had me at 18!i was 19 wen me and my partner got engaged, we had had a 7 and halfyear engagement and got married last feb, we now have our 3rd child onthe way!! follow your heart age isnt an issue as long as you are trulyhappy!

 

[RebeccaUK]

I'm not sure what to say, and I'm certain thatyou will make your own decision based on what you want to do ratherthan what people on this board will say, all I will say is good luckwith everything and let us know what happens. Nobody willjudge you either way.