My bunny died and it's my fault

[chalicerose]

My bunny died two days ago and it's my fault. I've been crying all night, I am very depressed and I feel extreme guilt. I couldn't sleep and I haven't been eating these two days.

I love my baby. She means the world to me. She was my emotional support and my best friend. I didn't know much about rabbits but I tried to educate myself (their diet, behaviour, etc). However, as my bunny got older, she looked a bit overweight so I thought I'd put her on a diet (feeding her less) and even fast her for 1 day (every week). I thought I was doing the right ting as I didn't want her to have health issues from being overweight but I think I did the opposite. This has been going on for about 1 month and she was still very active (if I saw that she is getting weak then I would've fed her more).

Last Friday, I noticed that she wasn't that active. However, it was very cold that night and I thought she was just cold as her ears are cold (I googled "how to know if a rabbit is cold" and it says that rabbits when their ears are cold. And that rabbits are less active when they are cold). So I built her a fort to keep her warm and added a blanket. I also fed her and she was eating (however, she was less excited for the food. She is usually so excited when I feed her and she munch her food very fast. That night she didn't but I thought it was because she was cold).

Next day I left my apartment to sleep over at a friend's place. My brother is home with the bunny. I intentionally wanted to starve her for a day as usual however by the time I got home she was lying and unable to get up. She was still alive but I can tell that something's very wrong. I panicked at took her to the Vet Emergency Centre right away and she was still alive when I took her to the vet. However, I was not allowed in the room so I waited outside. Soon after, the doctor came and told me my rabbit passed away.

When I asked what happened, the doctor didn't gave me any clear answer. She said it could be sepsis or liver damage but she is not certain. I did not vaccinate her too because the breeder told me that he has never vaccinate his rabbits he has have them for years. I also thought that because she is an indoor rabbit, she is not exposed to those diseases. I am so fucking stupid. I should've vaccinate her.

I called the Vet ER again today because I wanted an answer. I wanted to know what actually happened to her. When I called the Vet, they checked my rabbit's file and said that the only thing that was written there was that she was very skinny and dehydrated. Again, the doctor said they don't know what happened to her. Though I did left her water bowl filled and she did still have water in her water bowl as she was lying and unable to stand up.

I feel like a murderer. I love her dearly and I feel like I deserve to die instead of her.

 

[Jasminebunny]

My bunny died two days ago and it's my fault. I've been crying all night, I am very depressed and I feel extreme guilt. I couldn't sleep and I haven't been eating these two days.

I love my baby. She means the world to me. QShe was my emotional support and my best friend. I didn't know much about rabbits but I tried to educate myself (their diet, behaviour, etc). However, as my bunny got older, she looked a bit overweight so I thought I'd put her on a diet (feeding her less) and even fast her for 1 day (every week). I thought I was doing the right ting as I didn't want her to have health issues from being overweight but I think I did the opposite. This has been going on for about 1 month and she was still very active (if I saw that she is getting weak then I would've fed her more).

Last Friday, I noticed that she wasn't that active. However, it was very cold that night and I thought she was just cold as her ears are cold (I googled "how to know if a rabbit is cold" and it says that rabbits when their ears are cold. And that rabbits are less active when they are cold). So I built her a fort to keep her warm and added a blanket. I also fed her and she was eating (however, she was less excited for the food. She is usually so excited when I feed her and she munch her food very fast. That night she didn't but I thought it was because she was cold).

Next day I left my apartment to sleep over at a friend's place. My brother is home with the bunny. I intentionally wanted to starve her for a day as usual however by the time I got home she was lying and unable to get up. She was still alive but I can tell that something's very wrong. I panicked at took her to the Vet Emergency Centre right away and she was still alive when I took her to the vet. However, I was not allowed in the room so I waited outside. Soon after, the doctor came and told me my rabbit passed away.

When I asked what happened, the doctor didn't gave me any clear answer. She said it could be sepsis or liver damage but she is not certain. I did not vaccinate her too because the breeder told me that he has never vaccinate his rabbits he has have them for years. I also thought that because she is an indoor rabbit, she is not exposed to those diseases. I am so fucking stupid. I should've vaccinate her.

I called the Vet ER again today because I wanted an answer. I wanted to know what actually happened to her. When I called the Vet, they checked my rabbit's file and said that the only thing that was written there was that she was very skinny and dehydrated. Again, the doctor said they don't know what happened to her. Though I did left her water bowl filled and she did still have water in her water bowl as she was lying and unable to stand up.

I feel like a murderer. I love her dearly and I feel like I deserve to die instead of her.

You were just trying it help , it wasn't your fault , my bunnie (indoor) has not been vaccinated so it's okay.
Don't feel guilty , I know it's hard , I've lost bunnies ,5 in a week and I know how upsetting it can be .
You can always talk to me , if you need someone to talk to .
I'm on most of the time anyway.
If you would ever want a bunny again , also please talk to me .

It wasn't your fault .

 

[Hermelin]

Don’t blame yourself too much and sorry for your lost.

Many of us have done mistakes that can have led the bunny to die early. Myself did the mistake when I was a kid but you learn from these mistakes. You read more and make sure you don’t do the same. Humans aren’t perfect and sometimes it can go horrible wrong when we don’t know enough.

Next time don’t ever let a bunny go without food. They need to have acess to hay 24/7 and can’t be without. Otherwise they go into GI stasis. Also older bunnies can have many health issues hiding and it can just have been your bunny time to pass on.

Myself missed when my doe was getting worse because she always was happy and ate all the food. She had no change of droppings and would still binky and be overly clingy. The only signs was she slept more during the day and harder to wake up. Bunnies hide their pain and when they get sick. So don’t blame yourself too much

 

[Diane R]

Terrible. No point feeling awful about it though. Main thing is to learn from this - bunnies need lots of fresh hay available at all times, even 6 hours of not eating can cause liver damage. If you notice any change in behaviour or appetite, you must take bunny to a rabbit vet, don't wait. Also, in countries where vaccinations are available, you must vaccinate, indoor bunnies are at risk too.

 

[chalicerose]

Terrible. No point feeling awful about it though. Main thing is to learn from this - bunnies need lots of fresh hay available at all times, even 6 hours of not eating can cause liver damage. If you notice any change in behaviour or appetite, you must take bunny to a rabbit vet, don't wait. Also, in countries where vaccinations are available, you must vaccinate, indoor bunnies are at risk too.

Yes, very terrible. I'm a monster. I can't forgive myself. Don't worry, I won't ever get another bunny. I don't think I'll get over this and I can't replace her with another one.

 

[Diane R]

Yes, very terrible. I'm a monster. I can't forgive myself. Don't worry, I won't ever get another bunny. I don't think I'll get over this and I can't replace her with another one.

You will get over it. And you do need to forgive yourself. You didn't know. You didn't do this on purpose. Take care.

 

[BunBun71]

Do not blame yourself.
You were a great bunny mom.

 

[Hermelin]

Yes, very terrible. I'm a monster. I can't forgive myself. Don't worry, I won't ever get another bunny. I don't think I'll get over this and I can't replace her with another one.

Older bunnies often lose weight naturally, they will have trouble keeping their normal weight up. For example my precious doe had lost a lot of weight even though she ate a lot of food. The vet thought my doe didn’t eat enough but I told them she ate a larger amount food to help her keep the weight up. But when they looked at her they told me she had become underweight and lost a lot of muscles.

It had gone really fast for her to lose the weight, which only told that she had something else then just what we knew that troubled her.

So you can’t blame yourself too much, as humans we need to accept our mistakes. But it’s normal for us to do wrong and do mistakes. Even the best doctors have done mistakes which can had lead to horrble outcomes. Humans can’t be perfect, but we can always learn and try to prevent it to happen again.

If I blamed myself for all the mistakes I’ve done I would be stuck in a vicious circle and not learn to develop as a person. That’s just how life is, even though it take a while to overcome of losing a bunny. For me it didn’t become so hard this time, because I have other bunnies that snuggled up to me and could provide comfort.

So don’t beat yourself down, it will become easier to handle the loss with time. You can’t be too hard on yourself, it’s never good. It will only make you feel worse.

I hope you have someone that can help you go through the loss of a beloved friend

 

[Mehidk]

Aw, I'm so sorry for your loss! Losing a loved one is hard, specially when they are your support. I know it's hard to hear right now, but you made a mistake and that's okay. You are human, we all make mistakes at some point in our lives. Good lord knows I have had my fair share of mistakes. Now is the time to learn from them. Like others have said, rabbits need access to hay 24/7. There has been one time where I was away for two days and could not give my rabbit her veggies but she was ok though because she had hay readily available all day and she had her water dish filled.

I hope you can reach out to your friends and family to help you cope with your loss. You always have us here at Rabbits Online. Hang in there and stay strong!

 

[Alice the Mini Lop]

I’m very sorry for your loss. It sounds like you really loved your bunny, and you just made a mistake.While there is nothing you can really do about it now, I’m glad you are reflecting on what you could have done better.

I know that you know this now, but just for the sake of making sure others know, I’d like to repeat what the other commenters have said and say that it is NEVER ok to starve a rabbit. Rabbits need to be constantly eating to keep their gut working. If a rabbit hasn’t eaten in 8-12 hours it is likely to die if not treated. 24 hours without eating would almost definitely kill it. For that reason, I believe lack of vaccines have nothing to do with the death (depending on where you live rabbits can’t even be vaccinated (like in the United States). I believe the death was caused by G.I. Stasis as a result of the fasting. Please note that I’m not a vet so I couldn’t diagnose your bunny, but that’s just my opinion on the subject.

Again, don’t feel too bad about the subject, as you didn’t know that what you were doing was wrong. At least this won’t happen again, as you took the time to contact us here and now know your mistake. Also, as maybe some sort of a homage to your bunny, you could be sure to pass on what you learned here to other well meaning people who may be going down the path you did, as a way to prevent more death.

 

[Black Otter's Mom]

When you have an important question about a bunny's care, symptoms or situation, contact you vet 1st and then please reach out to this forum. I have had bunnies 25 years and other members many more. Rabbits are expensive with exotic vet costs so collectively we have seen almost everything. If you decide on a new bun, please read up on bunny care in advance or consult your vet. It sounds like you drew on human weight monitoring experience. Bunnies are very sensitive, their systems are pretty delicate. Also, with furry female bunnies they may appear chunky because of their dewlap. I bathe my bunnies in sink and under all the fur they look like wet, skinny critters. Water and hay should be available 24/7. My senior I have to feed every hour just to keep his measley 3 lbs! He cannot retain weight.
The kindest thing I can say to you is to let this traumatic event fade. They vet most likely were not giving you run around, it was probably awkward for them to articulate he had starved. You are not a monster, it looks like this comes down to real inexperience. Please do not get another bunny until you have researched bunny care.
Finally, and this is just as bad.. when I was 5 I fell in love with a toad I caught. I made him a house out of box and made windows with plastic film wrap. Filled with grass and dish of water and put in sun. I was thrilled at his lovely toad house. Unfortunately frogs do not eat grass and in reality the poor fellow was trapped inside a hot box in direct sun and the plastic wrap intensified the heat and it cooked him. I felt very similar to you, trust me. You will learn from this even though it may take time. I am sorry you are going through this, but just like my toad, the wrong decisions were made. Better days ahead, but please research bunny care and discuss with vet before you choose another. We are hear for you.

 

[Niomi]

I am so sorry about your bunny. I am sure that you did your best. There is something here that I think needs more attention. Your rabbit was skinny when she died, yet you were fasting her because she looked overweight. I think that there is a good possibility that you yourself may have an eating disorder. It might be a good idea to find someone to talk to that can help you get over this loss. What you are feeling may go deeper than the loss of your girl. Good luck and I hope that you feel better soon.

 

[Black Otter's Mom]

I agree with Niomi. When a pet's care is seen through human weight control experience, then you have to wonder why caregiver made that assessment. This is not criticism, but hopefully may illuminate why bunny's weight alerted you that way. A lot of bunnies are like little chubby plush toys. If you saw your bunny as needing fasting, there may be other factors present which distorted the decision based on personal experiences.