Losing Hope

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toyabrooke

toyabrooke

Well-Known Member
Joined
Feb 13, 2012
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Location
Tokyo, Japan
I'm not sure if it is still hormones or it is just going to be his personality, but I am past over Poe's aggressive behaviour. Today I tried being confident and not pulling away from him (which I usually do because of the freshly made scars that cover both my hands now), which seemed to work in the beginning but now he is back to normal. At first he was really surprised and upset I wasn't moving and so he gave up and hopped off where ever he was defending (the desk, on top of his cage, in his cage) and then wouldn't come at me again or would just sniff my hands. Now though, he is fully attacking whenever I do anything on my desk. I don't move my hands though and make sure he just had to deal with it rather than winning the fight and having me move.

A few days ago he was grooming me constantly when I held him and now nothing. He barely even grinds his teeth now. A few days ago I was letting him win by always pulling my hands away, but now it's like I have to start all over again with this power battle which means his trust also needs to start over. It is exhausting.

He can be sweet, but I was really after a pet that would come and sit on my lap and be constant to me all the time just like our other bunny Dudley, rather than sometimes come and lay next to me but other times attack me if I come close or just for no reason. I know it is early days but I have put it an insane amount of time with him over the last 1.5 months we have had him, and I am starting to think he just has an aggressive personality that can't be changed. I now have uni as well, which means I have more limited time to spend getting him to settle with me and be trained.

Anyway if anyone has had a similar experience and can give me some words of hope that would be great. I am really starting to give up on this.

T
 
Sorry to hear you are having so much anxiety with Poe. I know it takes time getting your rabbit to bond to YOU, but sometimes like bonding rabbits to other rabbits, it sometimes just doesn't work.

I would suggest wearing gloves when you handle him, but it seems you would have to wear gloves all the time, especially when you are sitting at your desk. I wear gloves when handling Neville, because he's so young right now. But he is learning every day not to struggle and is calming down each time I work with him.

I wish I could give you some advise that would make it all work for you. But all I can say is it does take time. Maybe more time with some rabbits. My bunnies sometimes are in bad moods, and don't want to be handled. They let us know. They tolerate it but they do let us know in different ways. Mostly grunts, maybe a nip once in a while (not hard), but nothing like Poe is doing.

I don't want you to give up hope. Wishing someone out there, who has more experience in behavior can help you. But please don't give up.

K :)
 
Thanks Karen. I just have a problem sometimes with loving TOO much, so whenever he attacks me or comes at me I get so upset that all that love isn't being given back :(

My mum came over tonight and took him to her house just so he can have a bit of a cool down. He got even worse as the afternoon went on - I don't know what set him off whether he was suddenly threatened because I wasn't giving in as easy or he just felt scared again. I know he hasn't been here long, but we both thought that one of his main problems was that he really thought he was boss of everywhere (which may also be another issue with his pooping EVERYWHERE), and that being briefly moved somewhere completely new with people that won't be scared to bitten by him or to be dominant over him would do him some good. We are hoping to change around his living space in our study a bit too, so when he does come back in a week or so things are the same but also a bit different. It could go either way though and he could come home and forget us completely and be terrified, but we are hoping we are doing what is best for him and giving him a fresh start free of anxiety for him and without his need to feel that he needs to control everyone around him.

He has only been gone 1 hour and I already miss him so much. I'm not sure if we have done the right thing, but when I think about the whole situation I think going somewhere new with someone who is VERY good with animals will be a good chance to really see how he goes without his hormones in a new place. He came to us charged with aggression from his hormones suddenly kicking in, so maybe this will be a fresh new start for him to learn how to not to be aggressive. Maybe when he comes home too that will stick and he can be truly happy with us and not have to bite or scratch or be protective of all his things.

He won't be gone long though and we can't wait to have him home. We will be checking on him a few times in the week to make sure it is all okay, and if things are getting worse or staying the same he will come back even sooner.

Thanks again for all the advice Karen! I also need to learn how to not be so attached to him and think every move he makes against me is because he hates me but because he is who he is, and he is an animal at heart. I have a problem with being too sensitive :p

T
 
Truly wishing you all the luck. Maybe this will be good for Poe. At least you are trying to figure out to set things right.

Believe me, when I first got bunnies, I felt like you. That their attitude towards me was hatred, but it wasn't. It was me. And you learn to look at things differently, which you are. You'll get there.

Just remember, when you are happy, they are happy. When you are upset, they are upset. They sense your feelings. And if you are afraid, they will sense that.

So this break could be just what the Doctor ordered. Wishing you all the luck.

Don't give up on your bunny or yourself. Stay strong.

K :)
 
Sorry to hear you having issues with Poe.
Maybe he just isnt the 'lovey pet' type of bunny.
All humans have different personalities that can not be changed and so do animals, including rabbits.
Sadly, he may not be a good fit for you.
Sometimes it just doesnt work out.
He seams like he would be best for someone with lots of rabbit experience with his type of personality.
If he is causing you to be upset to where you can not enjoy having him and loving him, then maybe the best thing for the both of you to do would be to find him a new home with someone experience like I mentioned above. That way you both would be happier because you could have a different rabbit thats exactly what you want, that will cuddle and love on you and Poe will get the right kind of care according to his 'attitude' if you know what I mean.

Thats just my two cents..I hope you the best!:hug2:
 
NorthernAutumn wrote:
Sorry, I didn't see it mentioned here -

Is he neutered? If not, I would get that done ASAP.
Click to expand...
Yes Poe is neutered. OP is wondering if aggressive behavior is the hormones still lingering or if this will be he attitude permanently.

K:)
 
My mum has said the same thing, but I would feel so terrible just having him live there with her and not with me (although it wouldn't be a hard life at all, our Dudley has my huge old room as his room now with air-conditioning on 24/7 - please note that I didn't dump him with her but he is too fluffy for apartment life :( ) . We love him so much, and sometimes he really does show me he loves me too but he is just so protective of his room and his things he just can't control being so aggressive. I think when my mum came over to calm me from being so upset, he new something was going on and that is why he attacked me and her for no reason. But we still thought that going somewhere new may help him feel like he is in less control, which may in turn make him feel less of a boss and be okay with having other people be in charge.

He really had improved since we first got him, and we have seen him improve since the operation but not enough to say well he is just getting used to a new place or he is just scared. I really think it is more than that - He has a fiesty attitude and doesn't take any guff from anyone. We love him for that, but it just can be really tiring especially when there are so many other things going on in life. He was my number one though every since we first got him, and every second I had in the day was devoted to him and I let everything else come second. I think that was a big reason why his aggressiveness got to me so much - I get very attached to my pets instantly and can't bare the thought of them not loving me back.

Thank you everyone for all the advice. For now, there are no changes with my mum looking after him, but she is a wildlife carer and educator so she knows a thing or to on how to deal with aggressive animals. Hopefully she might be able to do some things with him that I can't (I am too soft on him I think and like to cuddle him far too much), and we will just see how he goes. I couldn't bare the thought of just giving up on him. I know what your saying about getting him to a new home while he is young, but I would feel like a deserter. I have never deserted a pet and I don't think I could bare it.

For now, we will just take it one day at a time and hoepfully we will see some changes and he can come home ASAP. So far he has been aggressive with my mum which tells me he isn't aggressive because he is scared (otherwise he would be in his cage, not outside eating a biscuit from her then attacking her), but it is more about his mentality that he rules the world and that needs to end.

I wish I was a better carer for him and had more emotional strength to be able to handle his attacks and bites and aggression :( I still love him all the same though, and his personality is what makes him my Poe.

T
 
I would not be able to keep an aggressive animal, especailly with teeth that can cut to the bone. Sorry you are going through this. Hope he gets better over time.
 
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