Nun caught in a downpour went into a monastery for shelter to find she was just in time for dinner. It turned out to be the most delicious fish & chips she ever ate. Wanting to thank them she walked into the kitchen and found 2 cooks. Telling them how wonderful it was she asked who made what.
"Well I'm the fish friar." said one.
"And I'm the chip monk." said the other.
I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face." I said, "You'll be sorry." He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?" I said, "Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well."