Jokes!

Discussion in 'Let Your Hare Down' started by JadeIcing, Sep 12, 2007.

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  1. Apr 9, 2018 #241

    DJSpanky

    DJSpanky

    DJSpanky

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    I'm not lazy ... I'm just in my energy saving mode.
     
  2. Apr 10, 2018 #242

    DJSpanky

    DJSpanky

    DJSpanky

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    My therapist told me that a great way to let go of your anger is to write letters to people you hate and then burn them. I did that and I feel much better but I'm wondering: do I keep the letters?
     
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  3. Apr 10, 2018 #243

    Nancy McClelland

    Nancy McClelland

    Nancy McClelland

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    I was the best door-to-door security alarm salesman for many years running. The trick was to just leave a brochure on the kitchen table if there was nobody home.
     
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  4. Apr 13, 2018 #244

    DJSpanky

    DJSpanky

    DJSpanky

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    Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
     
  5. Apr 14, 2018 #245

    Nancy McClelland

    Nancy McClelland

    Nancy McClelland

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    I play golf in the low 70's. If it gets colder than that, I quit.
     
  6. Apr 16, 2018 #246

    DJSpanky

    DJSpanky

    DJSpanky

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    I threw a boomerang many years ago. I now live in constant fear.
     
  7. Apr 18, 2018 #247

    Nancy McClelland

    Nancy McClelland

    Nancy McClelland

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    My friend recently got crushed by a pile of books, but he's only got his shelf to blame.
     
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  8. Apr 19, 2018 #248

    DJSpanky

    DJSpanky

    DJSpanky

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    Nothing ruins a Friday more than an understanding that today is Tuesday.
     
  9. Apr 20, 2018 #249

    DJSpanky

    DJSpanky

    DJSpanky

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    I love my life, but it just wants to be friends...
     
  10. Apr 23, 2018 #250

    Nancy McClelland

    Nancy McClelland

    Nancy McClelland

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    My wife has the funnies way of starting conversations. She always begins by saying,"hey' are you listening?"
     
  11. Apr 23, 2018 #251

    Milyvan

    Milyvan

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    Nun caught in a downpour went into a monastery for shelter to find she was just in time for dinner. It turned out to be the most delicious fish & chips she ever ate. Wanting to thank them she walked into the kitchen and found 2 cooks. Telling them how wonderful it was she asked who made what.

    "Well I'm the fish friar." said one.
    "And I'm the chip monk." said the other.
     
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  12. Apr 24, 2018 #252

    DJSpanky

    DJSpanky

    DJSpanky

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    I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face." I said, "You'll be sorry." He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?" I said, "Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well."
     
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  13. Apr 25, 2018 #253

    DJSpanky

    DJSpanky

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    Statistically 6 out of 7 Dwarfs are not Happy.
     
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  14. Apr 26, 2018 #254

    DJSpanky

    DJSpanky

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    I hate insects puns: they really bug me.
     
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  15. Apr 27, 2018 #255

    Nancy McClelland

    Nancy McClelland

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    Slept like a log last night--woke up in the fireplace!
     
  16. Apr 27, 2018 #256

    DJSpanky

    DJSpanky

    DJSpanky

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    What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
     
  17. Apr 28, 2018 #257

    Milyvan

    Milyvan

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    At least you didn't sleep like a baby!
     
  18. Apr 28, 2018 #258

    Nancy McClelland

    Nancy McClelland

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    "I wish my mouth had a backspace key."
     
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  19. May 1, 2018 #259

    DJSpanky

    DJSpanky

    DJSpanky

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    Sang the rainbow song in front of a police officer, got arrested for colorful language.
     
  20. May 4, 2018 #260

    DJSpanky

    DJSpanky

    DJSpanky

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    Brains are wonderful, I wish everyone had one.
     

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