Jokes!

Discussion in 'Let Your Hare Down' started by JadeIcing, Sep 12, 2007.

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  1. Mar 4, 2018 #221

    Nancy McClelland

    Nancy McClelland

    Nancy McClelland

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    I'm not one to brag about my finances, but my credit card company calls me everyday to tell me my balance is outstanding.
     
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  2. Mar 5, 2018 #222

    DJSpanky

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    How come "you're a peach" is a complement but "you're bananas" is an insult? Why are we allowing fruit discrimination to tear society apart?
     
  3. Mar 6, 2018 #223

    DJSpanky

    DJSpanky

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    I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.
     
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  4. Mar 7, 2018 #224

    Nancy McClelland

    Nancy McClelland

    Nancy McClelland

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    I don't want to be a millionaire, I just want to have enough money to stare off into the distance while I'm pumping gas!
     
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  5. Mar 9, 2018 #225

    DJSpanky

    DJSpanky

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    The trouble with unemployment is that the minute you wake up in the morning you're on the job.
     
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  6. Mar 10, 2018 #226

    Nancy McClelland

    Nancy McClelland

    Nancy McClelland

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    An Ohio based company made a cup holder for dip that attaches to a dashboard so you can eat chips and dip while you drive.I don't have a joke about this. I just wanted to remind everyone we're still the greatest country in the world. Conan O'brien
     
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  7. Mar 12, 2018 #227

    DJSpanky

    DJSpanky

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    Honesty is the best policy but insanity is the best defense.
     
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  8. Mar 13, 2018 #228

    DJSpanky

    DJSpanky

    DJSpanky

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    Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?
     
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  9. Mar 15, 2018 #229

    DJSpanky

    DJSpanky

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    If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
     
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  10. Mar 21, 2018 #230

    Nancy McClelland

    Nancy McClelland

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    A couple went to see a movie on Valentine's Day. As they sat in the darkened cinema waiting for the film to start, the screen finally lit up with a flashy advertisement for the concession stand. The couple realized there was no sound. The film began, but the silence continued. Suddenly, out of the darkness, an irritated voice shouted, "O K, who's got the remote control?"
     
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  11. Mar 23, 2018 #231

    DJSpanky

    DJSpanky

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    I had prepared for a battle of wits but I see you came unarmed.
     
  12. Mar 26, 2018 #232

    DJSpanky

    DJSpanky

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    If winning isn't everything why do they keep score?
     
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  13. Mar 27, 2018 #233

    DJSpanky

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    Remember, children: the best way to get a puppy for Christmas is to beg for a baby brother.
     
  14. Mar 27, 2018 #234

    Nancy McClelland

    Nancy McClelland

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    A husband and wife were reading a magazine and a newspaper when the wife burst out laughing. Listen to this she said. There's a classified ad here where a guy is offering to swap his wife for a season ticket to the stadium. Hmmm, her husband replied not looking up from his magazine. Teasing him, the wife asked, would you swap me for a season ticket? Never, he said. That's sweet-tell me why not. His reply, "the season is half over."
     
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  15. Mar 28, 2018 #235

    DJSpanky

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    My calling in life went straight to voicemail.
     
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  16. Mar 30, 2018 #236

    DJSpanky

    DJSpanky

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    Never answer an anonymous letter.
     
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  17. Apr 4, 2018 #237

    DJSpanky

    DJSpanky

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    We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
     
  18. Apr 5, 2018 #238

    DJSpanky

    DJSpanky

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    Girls are like roads, the more curves they have, the more dangerous they are.
     
  19. Apr 6, 2018 #239

    DJSpanky

    DJSpanky

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    I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
     
  20. Apr 8, 2018 #240

    Nancy McClelland

    Nancy McClelland

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    How did the Hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool!
     

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