Jokes!

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DJSpanky

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How come "you're a peach" is a complement but "you're bananas" is an insult? Why are we allowing fruit discrimination to tear society apart?
 

Nancy McClelland

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An Ohio based company made a cup holder for dip that attaches to a dashboard so you can eat chips and dip while you drive.I don't have a joke about this. I just wanted to remind everyone we're still the greatest country in the world. Conan O'brien
 

Nancy McClelland

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A couple went to see a movie on Valentine's Day. As they sat in the darkened cinema waiting for the film to start, the screen finally lit up with a flashy advertisement for the concession stand. The couple realized there was no sound. The film began, but the silence continued. Suddenly, out of the darkness, an irritated voice shouted, "O K, who's got the remote control?"
 

Nancy McClelland

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A husband and wife were reading a magazine and a newspaper when the wife burst out laughing. Listen to this she said. There's a classified ad here where a guy is offering to swap his wife for a season ticket to the stadium. Hmmm, her husband replied not looking up from his magazine. Teasing him, the wife asked, would you swap me for a season ticket? Never, he said. That's sweet-tell me why not. His reply, "the season is half over."
 
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