I'm going to have Herr Hase euthanised, and I'm struggling with that.

[Preitler]

When it started, it was just a limp, more than a year ago, x-ray said athrosis in the hip, quite likely to injury (idiot thought he's a cat, climbing everywhere), but by now he can't get up by himself, his body is twisted more than 90°, either his front or his rear is horizonal. He's about 6-7yo, eats fine, but for a few days now he can't support himself enough to drink by himself, have to syringe feed him water. And prop him halfway upright with pillows for eating. He can't move anywhere anymore, and worse, he can't interact with his cuddlebun anymore. She's quite estranged by now, normal interaction doesn't work and overall it would be a natural behaviour.

So, I understand that this is not a happy rabbit life. But he still enjoys his veggies, his mushed pellets and oatmeal (laced heavily with pain meds), gosh, considering that other rabbits just stop to eat for no apparent reason he has in iron stomach.

The problem here is me. I'm so chocked up with fear of loss., I'll never have a human relationship again, or even a dog, Couldn't handle it. Rabbits are ok, since they don't really care about me, and I have another 6 of them (not pets though), shouldn't be that much of a problem. Herr Hase is my first ever house pet who lived with me longest since i was 11 (humans didn't even come close).
Was tearing up through today every now and then while putting off to call the vet, guess some colleagues noticed, but that are all people with real lives, family, and real problems, not going to bother them. I don't have anyone to talk about it. Corona even robbed me of those healthy, drunk evenings in the pub.

What I'm asking here is some first hand experience, what it will be like, how it was for you. I already made the decision i don't want him to miserably suffer through starving or malnutrition or whatever gives up first in his body, but I'd appreciate any thoughts.

 

[Bunniebinky]

I know it is not the same but I lost 4 of my rabbits starting last Sunday. This happened over a course of 3 days. I lost Beans the daddy, Toast the mammy and Pumpkin and bear the babies (4mo)
At first I was an absolute wreck especially because I had no clue why until I found out they passed due to a wild rabbit exposure virus it was called RHD.
but What made me at ease was the fact I gave them the best life possible! They were the happiest buns ever and they love me and vice versa.
Just remember on all the old memories of funny stuff or stuff that made you go Awh cute

you have given that little bun the best life ever and they love you for that

 

[Preitler]

I'm sorry for your loss. The first year I had rabbits 14 out of 15 got Myxomatosis, and I had to kill them. It hurt, but those weren't pets though. Fury was the sole survivor. After finding out what I was dealing with. I put each surviving rabbit in a seperate room , Fury was the only to survive and my first indoor rabbit (and pretty much destroyed the apartment, but she didn't got the chance to grow a winter coat), she's almost 10 now and a very happy outdoor bunny, retired from breeding almost 3 years ago.

Anyway, that was all differnent to the situation Im trying to cope with now.

It was part of the decision to buy my house here, that there is a massive predator pressure that doesn't let any rabbit population pop up.

Dotty, Herrn Hases cucddlebun, which also lives free range in my house, is Furys granddaughter. But she isn't exactly my pet, she is Herrn Hases cuddlebun. She lives in the same space as me, but I'm happy if she allows me to pet her for a minute. now she's in some kind of limbo.

 

[Niomi]

Preitler, Losing a pet is never easy. I have kept some rabbits around too long because the vet believed that as long as a rabbit was eating, he had some quality of life. I now know that isn't true. My rabbit that just died ate up until he died and I am sure he did it out of instinct. God bless you for being able for to make a decision based on what is best for your rabbit. You are a good pet parent and he was lucky to have you in his life.

 

[Mac189]

I'm so sorry that you are going to lose Herr Hase, you love him very much. I hope you have some peace in knowing that you are making a good decision. I lost Neal when he was almost nine and his loss was a tough one. I'm not generally a person who keeps a lot of sentimental keepsakes around, but I had his favorite piece of wood carved into a small pine tree and the tag with his name on it hangs in my kitchen. I hope you have the opportunity to give him lots of affection and receive lots of affection from him in the coming days.
I think you'd be surprised by the level of understanding other people will feel about the loss of a beloved pet and I hope you feel comfortable reaching out to us and perhaps even your coworkers

 

[HalaBuns]

My only experience losing a bun (so far) was with one of my rescues. I know the time will come one day with one of my adopted girls and I get emotional just thinking about it.

I had only rescued Mini-Bun 2 days prior to him becoming very sick. I was too inexperienced to recognise the symptoms of coccidiosis, so I didn’t push the vet when they sent me home with incorrect meds. By the time I had received advice from the forum here it was too late.

I cradled him in my arms during his final hours and his passing was quite traumatic for me, but thankfully I do not think he was aware of what was happening. But prior to losing consciousness, I’m sure he knew he was loved and I hope he found some comfort snuggled into me.

I honestly think that losing a pet triggers the same level of grief within me as losing a human and I cried for days (still do when I think about it even now). For some reason some people down-play the loss of a smaller animal, but they obviously have no idea about how emotionally intelligent bunnies are and how easy it is to form an attachment to them. This is real life for you and Herr Hase is your family, so I hope you can find someone around you who can help you through this process. Everyone here can certainly understand what you are going through.

He is lucky bun indeed to have had such a wonderful life with you.

 

[Catlyn]

When we went to the vet with Musti for the last time, i was straight up bawling through the entire process, shaking and shivering, trying to be calm so as not to make him even more anxious. I swore that i wouldn't let him go, that there must be some effective cure for his condition. He wasn't even two years old, i wasn't planning on letting him leave me so early. I'd sworn that i'd stay with him all his life. Who knew thst his would just be a short one.
The vet pretty much said that he had much more going on than just the disfunctional, essentially useless, irreversably unfixable abcessed foot (were looking at severe weight loss, some unidentified mange-parasites, messy bum, in addition to his knee.) It would've been risky and expensive to operate him, and even the vet wasn't sure if that french lop who had lost half a kilo of himself would make it out and keep on functioning sufficiently enough as a big breed tripod.
We'd seen him deteriorate months before, and although i never wanted to admit it, i knew that there was a high chance that i had to let him go. Musti was so sweet with me-even as he sat numbly in my arms, grinding his teeth like crazy, he still found time to lick tears from my face. I was happy for that but it hurt. So much.
It took me nearly ten minutes of absolute, loud bawling to somehow, through near zero vision from tears, to write what i thought needed be done. I was barely even standing from the stress and a total wreck. I just couldn't form coherent words, i was so devastated. The gist of the text being that i didn't think the risky expensive treatment would be worth it, considering how my buddy didn't seem to have the will to go on himself.
So i let him go.
I cried almost non stop for a week, and then spontaneously often for a few more months, and almost two years later i still cry every time i feel the need to write a text similar to this.
Initially i was always finding faults within myself, on how i didn't research enough, didn't try harder, didn't press for more from the vets. I crushed myself from guilt and agony.
But i had to pick myself up faster than i would've naturally, because i had another spontaneous purchase living in our shed, who dad and i thought at the time was a good way to try and mend our wounds- Storm. I quickly found that he wasn't the one to hug when i was down, and couldn't be sweetly carried or held on my belly for face cuddles.
Impulsively bringing a new rabbit home helped me a little with coping, as i had a new "object of interest" to give my affection and care to. I pushed harder for him to be an indoor rabbit, and had laced dad into a promise that Storm could have a bondmate when the time would be right.
(Sometimes grieving people can really be bent to one's will, pushing just the right buttons. I guess dad was just as griefed as me and more receptive to what i wanted. I guess i made him understand what a more ideal bunny life would look like)
And after the first few months i stopped comparing him to the lost one, and took him for who he is- a sassy, spunky bossy mc bossface of a grumpy, moody man.
Thus, through time, acceptance and redirected affection, Musti's passing didn't hurt me as much and i'd finally calmed from my grief and miserability, settling the ordeal in my heart. I reminded myself that i did try my best with what i knew at these times. Although he didn't live long, he would've lived even less as a meatstock in that small farm. He'd never return, no matyer how badly i wanted to reverse time. I had another living soul that depended on me; one that could live more justly with the knowledge that i'd gained along with the dear soulmate that i'd lost in the pricess of learning and life.

Letting Herr Hasse go will hurt like hell. Losing a dear one will always do that. No matter how strong the face people put up front, inside they hurt. My dad almost never shows "sad" emotions, i've seen him cry no more than five times in my life. Two of them being rabbit losses. You have the choice to let him pass easier than he would naturally. Just remember all the good times and all the little things you did (and still do) to make his life the best one possible. And don't forget to take care of those who will be left behind when he's going. They might not show the same degree of love and acceptance, but they still rely on you to keep them going. Take your sweet time in accepting and healing.

Sorry for any misspellings or odd letter swaps. I was crying through writing this text, and it took me so long that i'm now late for work. Imho, worth it though.

 

[Preitler]

Thanks.

I got it over with yesterday morning, first time I was glad about the mask mandate, was crying through the whole thing. It really was time, he still enjoyed veggies and nuts, but I had to hold him or prop him up for eating with pillows and hay, and had ty syringe him water, Not moving any already was causing other issues, like, I had to massage his bladder so he could pee. And it got worse every day. Had already doubled his pain meds since it was clear that there is no point in worrying about side effects.
Going to bury him today. Still trearing up every tim I think about him, I didn't eat or sleep much the last few days, some coworkers noticed that I got really quiet but thankfully abstained from making me talk, couldn't have done that without a meltdown.

Now there's still Dotty living in my house, but she was more his cuddlebun than my pet, well, lwt's see how that works out. I think one of my outdoor rabbits will get a chance for promotion soon.

 

[ArtistChibi]

At least Herr Hase is at peace now and passed knowing a loving human. I'm sorry you had to go through this, but from what I am reading, it was a good idea.