I need to share something.

Discussion in 'Let Your Hare Down' started by Alyssa and Bugs♡, Feb 7, 2019.

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  1. Feb 7, 2019 #1

    Alyssa and Bugs♡

    Alyssa and Bugs♡

    Alyssa and Bugs♡

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    I should be happy but I'm not. Some great things are happening in my life like: I got a job, I'm getting a hamster again, I got my driving permit, and a few other things I can't think of right now.

    But... I'm not happy. There, I said it. I'm struggling with mental health. Everyday it's like a battle with my mind. It's the worst it's ever been. No one knows this because I'm really ashamed about all of it. I don't have many friends at school because I'm considered weird and shy. People think my love for bunnies is childish and immature. I prefer to be alone and no one else seems to get me. I got bullied and still have things said to me sometimes and it bothers me more than I'd like to admit. My self esteem is at like a 0. I struggle with body image and self doubt. My grades aren't too great at school because I'm too scared to ask for help with it. So yeah... I'm a mess right now. I feel as though I'm well... drowning. It sucks.

    On top of this, Bugs hasn't been doing too well and I'm really worried about him. He means the world to me.

    I'm not posting this for sympathy or reassurance. I just need to talk rant about all of this. Feel free to ignore. Thanks for reading :)
     
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  2. Feb 7, 2019 #2

    Poopy Poo

    Poopy Poo

    Poopy Poo

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    You know my rabbits can feel my mood if I am not feeling good they are in despair I was really scared when found Leo staying in the corner turned his back to me you really need to keep yourself positive to influence your rabbit! :) I think everybody has ups and downs it is normal I think you're doing right things making yourself comfortable and having a great friend. Just try to stay positive and think that Bugs is happy when you are happy and you are the world to him too.
    Actually everybody is a bit weird in their own way so you're definitely not alone on this ;)
     
  3. Feb 7, 2019 #3

    samoth

    samoth

    samoth

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    I don't know how old you are, but I'll assume from your comment regarding your driving permit that you're in HS. If that's the case, then the first thing that comes to my mind is, "LOL, yep. Been there." Like, not trying being offensive or anything, but just... yeah, I've been there. I know a lot of people have been there.

    People who don't have struggles in life tend to not really learn or grow in a way that leads to success down the road, regardless of whether those struggles are internal or external. The struggles and challanges we face through our lives mold us and shape us to the people we become. And it's not just the crap life throws at us, but how we learn to handle all the crap: how to approach it, how to deal with it, and most of all, how to learn from it.

    There's no easy or quick solution to real challanges in life. Ever. But things get better. We learn as time goes on, as we get older, as we grow and move forward in the world. And along the way, we learn that all the strength we need is inside us. We learn to be the stone that nothing can break.

    Train your mind to focus on your goals, and make your thoughts about yourself strengthen you :)
     
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  4. Feb 7, 2019 #4

    JBun

    JBun

    JBun

    Jenny - Health & Wellness Mod Staff Member Administrator Moderator

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    I had a hard time in high school as well. One thing I regret is that I kept my struggles mostly to myself and didn't know how to ask for the help that I really needed. If I had I might have been able to avoid some of the struggles I went through during and after high school. If I had just had the courage to ask for the help that I needed, I really could have made things much better for myself. So if I were to give you any advice it would be that if you need help, don't wait, ask for it now.

    If you have a supportive family, involve them in seeking out the necessary support and help that you need. Supportive and loving families want to be there for you and help you. If you don't have a supportive family, there are school counselors that you can go to for help, and they will be able to guide and direct you to the help that you need. That includes help for your mental health struggles. So if you haven't already gotten help, don't be afraid to ask for it. It's much better to do it now instead of waiting and allowing yourself to suffer needlessly. Because there is help out there, you just need to be brave enough to ask for it.

    There's really no reason to feel ashamed about having mental health issues. It's not all that different than any other medical issue that people have, only this one primarily deals with the chemicals in the brain not working correctly. Our brains work on a very delicate balance of chemicals for us to think and function correctly. This applies to all of us. If anything is out of balance it can really affect a persons physical and/or mental well being, and this balance can easily be affected even by something as simple as not getting enough sleep or not eating well. Just like any other medical problem, when your brain isn't functioning correctly we need medical assistance to help correct it. And that can't happen unless we go see a doctor who can help us. You're not alone in this, in your school or in the world in general. Lots of people struggle with these things, but just like you they might feel ashamed or afraid to talk about it when they really shouldn't.

    Remember that as important as high school seems and how emotional it can be, it's temporary and really just a small moment of your life. It's essentially a time to prepare you for what you might want to do as an adult. All of that silly petty stuff that goes on in high school can seem and feel important and hard to deal with in the moment, but it really isn't all that important in the whole scheme of things. High school will end in a year or two for you, and you will likely never see any of those people again(or rarely), and what will be the most important thing is what you learned from the experience, both in your educational learning and character building. It's the type of person that you want and decide to be, and how you treat others that is one of the most important things in life. There's a quote I really like by Eleanor Roosevelt who said 'No one can make you feel inferior without your consent'. Which essentially means that despite how others treat you, despite what they say to you, the power is yours to decide how you are going to react. You make the choice. People will make their own choices about how to treat you(and others) your entire life, but it's you who ultimately decides how you are going to allow it to affect you. They may treat you like you are 'inferior', but only you can decide to feel 'inferior'.

    Focus on what is really important, remind yourself of those things when life seems difficult, and don't be afraid to find the emotional and medical support that you deserve and need. Along with any medical help you need, there is also a component of what you allow yourself to think that can affect how you feel. I like these 9 tips for 'keeping your personal power'.
    https://www.inc.com/amy-morin/9-ways-mentally-strong-people-retain-their-personal-power.html

    And you know that we all here understand your love of rabbits. It might be an uncommon interest in your high school, but really there lots of rabbit lovers out there across the country, and I would say most are teenagers and adults(so definitely not a childish interest), and even a few celebrities have them as pets. In fact rabbits are not usually a good pet for a child and are actually a better pet for more mature individuals.

    I'm sorry your bun has been having health issues. Just remember if you need any help with your bun you know you can come here and ask and we'll try and assist or direct you to the help you might need when possible. We don't always know the answer, but usually someone will try to help where they can.
     
  5. Feb 7, 2019 #5

    Alyssa and Bugs♡

    Alyssa and Bugs♡

    Alyssa and Bugs♡

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    I have tried to talk to my parents and a school counselor. My parents think it's for attention and my counselor just tells my parents whatever I tell her. It's so frustrating and considering my parents both have mental health problems, you'd think they'd be understanding. They aren't. When I talk to my mom about it, she just turns it into a conversation about how she feels. She told me "if I don't get it together", she'd put me in a mental hospital. She doesn't get that I can't just get it together. Some days I feel like everyone in my life would be happier if I were gone then I look at Bugs and I realize he needs me because I'm all he has.

    Thank you for your advice. It really does mean a lot to me.
     
  6. Feb 7, 2019 #6

    Augustus&HazelGrace

    Augustus&HazelGrace

    Augustus&HazelGrace

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    I am going through depression, so I greatly understand what you are going through and Bugs can be a great reason to stay and live. I have many times thought that I was just a burden, everyone hates me, and that I deserve to die. The truth is that those were just lies my head was telling me. I cried reading your last comment because I have been there and I understand your pain. I want you to know there is another side to all of this. I was cutting and eventually I had even attempted suicide twice. I hope that you are not this bad but if you are I want you to know that it is NOT your fault. And what all of those other people might say to you like, " Oh, you'll be ok everyone gets sad sometimes." It's not true, sadness and depression are two very different things. If you want to talk more I will be very willing to listen, just PM me on here and I will message you as soon as I see it. And I pretty well keep this tab open during the day while I'm at school.
     
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  7. Feb 7, 2019 #7

    Evelyn Gomez

    Evelyn Gomez

    Evelyn Gomez

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    Alyssa, I am a mom, and I raised 3 daughters, and I think I understand your dilemma with mom and the school counselor. I'm not sure if the counselor at your school is a licensed therapist, but maybe the district has someone else that is. Or is there another adult in your family that you are comfortable talking with, or perhaps a teacher that can be advocate for you, and will help you find your solution? I know for me, I always encouraged my daughters that if they couldn't talk to me about a problem, to please talk to someone they were comfortable with, and I would encourage you to do the same thing. Life as a teenager is hard. And like someone else said, after graduation, you will rarely see those people. I have one friend from high school that I still have a very close relationship with. The rest I see at reunions, and it's pretty funny to see where they are these days, compared to where they were in high school.

    Chin up sweet Alyssa, snuggle up with Bugs, maybe do some journaling, and surround yourself with friends and loved ones who will elevate you.

    JBun, your post was beautifully written.
     
  8. Feb 7, 2019 #8

    Alyssa and Bugs♡

    Alyssa and Bugs♡

    Alyssa and Bugs♡

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    Big hugs to everyone that responded. It does mean a lot to me
     
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  9. Feb 7, 2019 #9

    JBun

    JBun

    JBun

    Jenny - Health & Wellness Mod Staff Member Administrator Moderator

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    I'm so sorry that you don't have the help and support that you need. That must feel so frustrating and discouraging for you. I wish more people were understanding and compassionate for those that struggle with these things , especially if they have experience with it themselves then they should know better. But just because they have issues understanding or being supportive doesn't mean your difficulty and struggles aren't valid ones, or that you aren't deserving of all the care and support that you need. If you can't find the help that you need at home or school, there is still help available out there. Here are some national support sites, including the crisis hotline. They are specifically there to help, so don't be afraid to use these resources if you feel you need them, especially if you feel you are in a crisis.
    https://www.nami.org/help
    https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/national-helpline
    https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

    Both of you hang in there. @Augustus&HazelGrace is right, when the chemicals in your brain are messed up it can affect how you feel, and that is not your fault at all. It's a neurological response that you can't always control, but you can decide how you are going to react to those feelings. Focus on the good things and the positive as much as possible and try your best to ignore the negative thoughts as they will just make you feel worse. It's not easy to do I know, but try your best. And hold your bunnies close and remember that they need you.
     
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  10. Feb 8, 2019 #10

    Orrin

    Orrin

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    Bun is correct, "when the chemicals in your brain are messed up it can affect how you feel, and that is not your fault at all. " The chemical imbalance can be improved with modern anti-depressants. Anti-depressants gave me a life, starting forty years ago. Don't wait. See your doctor. You'll be glad you did.

    Depression runs in my blood line. Every one of my cousins has dealt with it. My youth was one downer after another and it wasn't helped by a raging step-mother. Things got better after I got out onto my own; but still, there were times when I was bummed out. I couldn't concentrate in college. Long story short, midway through my life I decided it was time to do something about it and went to see my doctor. He wrote out a prescription for an anti-depressant; ever since I've been living the best years of my life.

    A person does not have to live with depression, so don't do it.
     
  11. Feb 8, 2019 #11

    April LD

    April LD

    April LD

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    Alyssa, I am sorry you are going through this. I am a mother of a 15 and almost 14 year old. Life is tough these days for teens. My family has depression and bipolar throughout and it's not easy to navigate, especially without support. I hope you can contact a medical specialist - maybe message your doctor and let them know what's going on, so you can get help and support.

    There is great information provided to you through this chat and I sincerely hope that you reach out to someone. There are also non-prescription ways to help deal with depression - check out aromatherapy, pressure point therapy, etc. But the best is to really find a way to get out your emotions safely and positively. Talk to someone, talk to your bunny, journal (as someone else already said), write poetry, make art, anything that will help you work through these feelings. If you are worried about someone finding your writing lock it up or burn after writing. I felt very alone in high school, had my own issues, and I wrote. I wrote poetry, made a book, and when I look at them now I can recall exactly what I was going through, what and who I was upset with, and I look back now and think, WOW, it seemed so important, but it wasn't. The feelings are important and dealing with the "self-destruction" is important, and to figure out how to turn the negative into a positive is important. But being "weird" is AWESOME!! It makes us unique, special, different...and there's nothing wrong with it. I am the crazy bunny lady at my work and even at home...I'm okay with that. I LOVE IT!!! When you are more secure in yourself you will begin to see and feel the same way. Give yourself time, love yourself for who you are, what you love, and don't worry about everyone else. You are only here to make you happy, and you have all the resources inside you to do that.

    Don't listen to the little voice in your head telling you that you are not worth it, that you are different, that you need to change you. You are YOUR PERFECT SELF IN THIS MOMENT...high school is a moment, a blink, and then you will be a different person for a moment, and this will happen all your life. Everything is moments and as your learn, grow, and mature, you will find that these moments get better.

    Know that you are: WORTH IT, SPECIAL, LOVED, BEAUTIFUL, KIND, LOVING, CRAZY, UNIQUE, SILLY, STRONG, and best of all a BUNNY LOVER :p:p:p

    I really hope that you are feeling better today and that things are looking up. It's okay to feel your feelings, be sad, mad, angry, hurt, happy, silly, etc. but don't wallow in them - feel them, work through them, and move forward. You are strong - by putting it out there it shows your maturity, strength, and these are important to have under the circumstances. I send you lots of love, hugs, and wish for you laughter, silliness, and peace.
     
  12. Feb 9, 2019 #12

    VioletRose

    VioletRose

    VioletRose

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    I really love all the beautiful support here. What a lovely community!
     
  13. Feb 10, 2019 #13

    Imbrium

    Imbrium

    Imbrium

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    Honestly, mental illness sucks... but you might be shocked to find out just how many people suffer from it in one way or another. Just know that you're never really alone - no matter how bad it gets, other people have been there, too. Honestly, I wonder if there aren't more people who are depressed or otherwise different than there are "normal" people these days. Something about the way human society has evolved seems to result in a large percentage of people who have trouble dealing with life's stresses. There's no "fix" for it, but there are ways to make it much easier to cope... medication, therapy, support groups or friends who have been through the same crap, etc. Sometimes having someone you can talk to can make all the difference. You absolutely shouldn't feel ashamed about it, because you're FAR from the only one! My husband and I both have depression and anxiety among other issues.

    I'm so sorry to hear that your parents aren't more supportive, especially if they have mental health issues (since that stuff can be passed genetically). Mental health issues tend to hit in adolescence... my mom actually realized before I did that something was wrong and took me to a psychiatrist. Assuming you know the name of the company that you have health insurance through, you could probably find a psychiatrist or therapist that takes your insurance - when you find one you like, you could present that information to your parents and ask if you could make an appointment. If you don't have insurance, you could look online for free or low-cost mental health help in your area. Maybe if you put in the time to research where to get help, your parents will realize that it's not just a 'cry for attention' (which, quite frankly, is a ridiculous and offensive way to define your requests).

    If it helps, I've only been around these forums for about a month after being away for nearly five years, yet your name was quite familiar to me before this thread and I would definitely both notice and miss you if you suddenly weren't around! You can PM me any time if you need someone to talk to, and I'd bet that goes for anyone else who has responded here saying they've dealt with mental illness as well.
     
  14. Feb 11, 2019 #14

    Sunshine's Fine

    Sunshine's Fine

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    I agree with all of the above replies, and I feel blessed to be a part of this group. I think bunny-lovers are a special breed of people. We seem to be very sensitive, caring, and loving but also, easily hurt and always trying to put on a brave face. I don't know how long you've been involved with bunnies, or this group, but if you don't already know it, we are there for each other as much as we can be. Many of us have been in your shoes. You know, I attempted suicide several years ago, and was in the psych ward of a hospital for several weeks afterward. While I was there, I happened to be in a 4 bed ward. It was the only one. The other rooms were for either 1 or 2 people. Some people came in and only stayed a few days, while others told me they came in every year for a few weeks to get their meds sorted out. In the beginning I was SO embarrassed for anyone to find out where I was or what I'd done. Shortly after I'd gotten out of the hospital, my daughter came home from university for the summer and she was having mental health issues as well. I took classes at the hospital for nearly 2 years after my stay there. Group therapy was really helpful for me. I would never have guessed that. I was a very shy kid, and got over some of that the older I became, but still struggle with that. "Group" ANYthing always scared me. If I was in school and we had to go into groups to do a presentation? Ugh! I hated it! I went to night school for some courses and when they began, they would say "we're going to split you into groups for some ice-breaking activities" Yuck! I wanted to run screaming from the room! I didn't want to talk to a bunch of strangers, it was always so awkward! But, when I took these classes, there were only 8 - 10 people and the same people were there twice a week for 6 or 8 weeks. I took probably 10 of those classes. The first one was scary and uncomfortable for the first couple of classes, but as we got to know each other, we opened up more and more. The thing is, I found that we all had so much in common. I wasn't the only one walking around thinking all these awful things about myself. The people ranged in age between 16 and 66 years of age. We all relaxed as time went by and opened up more and more. You could always tell when there was someone new, because they were so quiet, but it would only be a class or two before they were telling us their thoughts and feelings. I had to drive an hour from my home to these sessions and when my daughter was home that summer, she found a Psychologist she liked in that same city. One day when we were driving home, she said to me, "You know, Mom, we are pretty lucky to be able to see these professionals and be able to talk to them about what's bugging us, and get their help about what to do about it. I think EVERYONE could benefit from seeing a shrink or going to these groups. We are just lucky that we are just screwed up enough to realize we have to go. Some people are in a lot worse shape than we are, and they will NEVER go." I thought that was pretty smart for my young daughter, and she was exactly right. The other thing is, you may go to see someone and not like them at all. If that happens, just ask if you can see someone else. Sometimes, there are certain people that just rub us the wrong way, and it can happen at work, school, home, wherever. It doesn't mean they aren't a good doctor, or that you're not trying your best, so don't be afraid to speak up if you want to see someone different. Ah, high school! I HATED it! I went to 3 high schools in 4 years that were nowhere near each other. AND I was shy! There were 3 high school students who were in the hospital with me during that time. 2 of them were supposed to graduate that year, but were unable to because of so much missed time. I felt so bad for them. I remembered how I felt at that age, and I couldn't imagine having to deal with the things they were dealing with. Please, just know that we all want the best for you, and that most people are good and kind, especially the ones who work in those fields. There is no shame in going to see someone for that reason. You are lucky to be growing up at this particular time, because it's all very open now. When I was a teenager, no one would ever admit they were getting help for mental health reasons. My life could have been so different and so much better if I had only asked for help when I was a teenager. I tried to tell those 2 girls that it seems like the end of the world when something happens in school, but they will look back on that and realize it is such a very small, insignificant part of your life. It's not that what you're going through isn't hard and scary and depressing and awful, just that when you have your own place - an apt or house, there are so many exciting and happy things for you to do and learn and see. You will have struggles, too. You'll have a boyfriend/girlfriend and you'll fall in love, and you'll fight, and you'll make up. There is SO much ahead of you in life and if you get help now before you make some of those big decisions like who you'll marry/live with, work for/with, whether you want to travel, go to university. Lots and lots of experiences and you don't want to miss out on all the fun you can have. Try to get your head straight now while you're young and beautiful and smart and you're not taking prescription meds for all your aches and pains! It goes much faster than you'll ever know, so don't waste precious time now. Life is what you make it. Sorry this is so long, I just really feel for you, and I know this is not coming out the way I want it to, but I hope it's helpful to you. From one bunny lover to another, take care of yourself. PS: Parents can seem like they don't care, but when things are bad, they will be there for you. It's very hard when you're in the teen years. I was a teen, and a mother to a teen, so I know what I'm talking about. :) You will get through this if you ask for help, and it will make you stronger and more empathetic to others. You made a good first step by posting on here. keep up the good work. ((((((hugs))))))
     
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