I did a terrible thing last night

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Okay, justchecking! We always get baby buns, but I thought maybe you had abun in theoven!

Raspberry
 
m.e. wrote:
...My20th birthday is still two weeks away! I've never had a boyfriend in myentire life! I just happen to think it's a good idea to think aboutthese things now :p
Your maturity transcends your chronological age. Some youngman will surely count his lucky stars when you do decide, "take theplunge into romance." How could he not find you infinitelyinteresting, just based upon the erudite comments you've shared with uson this forum these past five months?

Young men and women, like yourself, give me hope that our culture'srapidly downward spiral is still capable of being arrested.If someone ever tries to castigate you for your efforts to increaseyour understanding of the world around them, pity on them!

You are on the right track! Don't ever let anyone tell you differently.

Buck
 
Raspberry - Nope, no worries....yet ;) Though mydad would certainly be thrilled if I found Mr. Right and gave them agrandkid. :p

Buck - Thank you, your words mean a lot. I have to owe pretty much allof that to two amazing parents, I love them fabulously. I can only hopeto be someday as wonderful as they were.

I intend to wait on "my man" for as long as it takes. And when theteens at youth group tease me about not dating yet, I just roll my eyesand say, "Darn my high standards." :D

Thanks guys, I needed the affirmation this week especially!
 
m.e. wrote:
I intend to wait on "my man" for as long as it takes. And when theteens at youth group tease me about not dating yet, I just roll my eyesand say, "Darn my high standards." :D

I'm going to have to steal that line. I'm only 14, but many people myage keep telling me I should "get a boyfriend." It helps to know thatthere are other people out there that are waiting for the right guy tocome along!

Lissa
 
m.e. wrote:
Thoughmy dad would certainly be thrilled if I found Mr. Right and gave them agrandkid.
Me and my older sister always speculated the same thing, although mydad acts like he doesn't want grandkids. I guess we'll find out what hereally thinks this weekend... ;)
 
I am sooo late getting to this post.Raspberry and Buck, I am with you on the discipline.Raspberry, I have said the same thing about how and why a lot of thekids are the way they are today. You are a brave woman with disciplinebeing such a touchy subject.

I've got 4 kids ages 9, 7, 2, and 1. We use all methods,first it is verbal, then it is time-out, then it is take somethingaway, and then it is a spank. We spank as a last resort tonot so serious offenses, but if they endanger themselves or others theyget spanked right away ( like running into the street without looking).

Last year, we had sooo many problems with the kids, my 7 year oldespecially. He was, to be quite frank, a bullyterror! He hit, bit, kicked, threw, never listened, did whathe wanted, talked back, lied, etc. He was suspended, kickedoff the bus, sent home. The principal and vice principal andcounselor know my then 6 year old kindergardener very well....low andbehold ADHD. He is on Ritalin now. He gets straightA's and most probably get into the gifted program this year! Ritalin isnot for everyone, but with Cody, we changed his diet, we gave himvitamins, we changed how we talked to him, changed disciplinarytactics, etc, nothing worked.He's a very lovingchildand we tell him he's making wrong choices or rightchoices, cause he isn't a bad kid, and more than half of the badchoices he makes is the ADHD.

Justin has ADD. His grades were awful, not paying attentionin school, taking 3-5 hours to do 30 min of homework, getting kickedoff the bus. He is also on Ritalin to focus in school, henever gets meds on the weekend. He will more than likely makeit to the gifted program this year too! He is a straight Astudent now, and does his homework on the busride home.

Being a parent is hard, being a parent of a child with a disability isharder. I've learned that apologizing when I am wrong, andexplaining in detail what I expect of my kids helps. Theyhave a list of rules and chores and get stars for making good choiceseveryday, no stars for bad choices, and allowance for chores...we arestill working on the chores, sad to say but they haven't gotten anallowance yet, I think they actually owe us money now :?.

Anyway, I grew up with an korean mother raising me alone...to say theleast I was beat more often than spanked, but in defense that is how itwas done in korea back then and all my mother knew. I'mstronger for it. I don't beat my kids and they will onlyreceive 3 swats when they get spanked (and I am proud to say that theyhaven't needed a spanking in a very long while). My real dadspanked and restricted when I visited him...and boy did I deserve everyswat I ever got! I'll tell you what, I respect both my parents verymuch, and I love them very much. They've taught me a lot, andI hope I can teach the same things to my kids...I probably won'trealize they learned anything until they are in their late 20's though.:D

Now we are watching our two year old for signs of ADD/ADHD.It can be inherited. And since our older kids were had withother people, we aren't sure if it was inherited from one ofus. But now we know what to look for, and so far he is anormal 2 year old, who happens to get his hand or tush swatted when heis making wrong choices, while learning to make the rightchoices. And he is learning although he is a stubbornindependant kid.

Anyway, that is my take on all that. By the way, so I couldbe the biggest influence on my children, instead of a stranger, I quitmy job and stay at home. I get pretty nice compliments on mykids' behavior when we are out in public, most of the time anyway. Ohand it is not my opinion that everyone should do this...only that Ichose to and we could afford it and it is what our familyneeded. We've given up a lot to do it, but I think it's worthit, and my kids think it's worth it, and that is all that matters tome: my kids happiness and well-being. I have no regrets.

Nice to be able to voice opinions, stories, experiences, etc without judgement.

Dawn
 
I really admire all of you parents that know whatyou believe and stand behind your conviction 110%. I have a 13 yearold. When he is an adult and is happy, educated, healthy anda resonsible citizen,THAT is when I will tell you all aboutmy parentingbeliefs and how I did it!:)
 
Dawn, I think itsounds like you have tackled your challenges head on in an educated andintelligent manner. It certainly sounds like the children are doingmuch better, and I'm sure that means things have got to be better foryou. I hope things continue on in a positive way and I'll keep myfingers crossed that you don't have to go through the same thing withyour baby boy, but if so at least you know the path to take.:)

Raspberry
 
Thanks, Raspberry. Parenting istrial and error right? Sadly, I've had a lot of errors withby oldest, and we are working on fixing the effects of those errorsnow. Justin was raised by my parents while I was in the armythe first 5 years of his life...to say the least it was "spoil thechild, spare the rod" and now he's very selfish, and spoiled.Heck my stepdad still spoils him rotten and treats him better than myother kids...but we live 13 hours away from him and it's gettingbetter...very slowly Justin is coming to realize that the needs of hisyounger siblings is important too, and that we are not made out ofmoney like Grandpa is.

I would love a how-to book, but it all depends on thekids. They are all different, and what works for one doesn'tnecessarily work for another. We are just trying our hardestto have our kids grow up secure in the knowledge that we love them nomatter what, and that we are behind them 100%. I didn't getthat growing up and I'm going to make sure my kids do. I findthat I am trying to break a cycle in our family, and so far it'sworking.

I must say though, that now that the holiday vacation hasstarted, I might need a little extra help in the patiencedepartment....send patient thoughts my way....I'm gonna needit. The boys will pretty much be medication free for twoweeks.

I hope ya'll have a wonderful Christmas!

Dawn
 
Wow... Posts likethis sure make me miss Buck. Boy could that man discuss, debate andbend an ear! :) They just don't make 'em like that anymore.:inlove:

I miss BunnyMommy too! :X

Any of you newbies, who never had thepleasure of meeting her, you should take some time to research herposts and her Sherman stories. You've never laughed so hard in yourlife. She was the First Lady of our forum way back when it was just atwinkle in Danielle's eye...



Raspberry



 

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