Hay Monster

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Apr 26, 2007
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Dearest Special Boy,

I first met you on my last day at the RSPCA, before a break- 29[sup]th[/sup] July 2010. You were with your siblings and were all cute and fluffy.

Then I was away for four months and didn’t see you again until you were six weeks old. When I next saw you I was exceptionally worried for you and the other smallest one.

When I first met you properly, you hadn’t been groomed and were just covered in hay. I told you you were a Hay Monster. All six of you had names, but I didn’t know who was who, so Hay Monster stuck for me- as did ‘Little’ for the smallest one.

(I'm not scruffing him, it's just a really bad photo)

Over the following weeks I tried to help and guide the staff in how to look after you all but it became clear your needs could not be met at the Centre. Despite not wanting to take on any more bunnies you, Little and an older brother (who came to be known as Butterfly) came home with me on 25[sup]th[/sup] November 2010.

You were all six months old, all emaciated, all still with baby fluff. You ALL gained 200-300g of weight overnight, so you were also clearly dehydrated too. Bringing you home saved all your lives. It was worth it.

Within 24 hours you had moved from outside (in the bitter cold) to inside in the spare room. You edged in VERY quickly!

You were such a scamp. You were the nosey one and were always out the dog crate doors. You were also first to explore the living room when you came for your first ‘run around’ down stairs; although you did need encouragement because you all just sat in the litter tray. You all looked so silly.

Very quickly you all came round, but with coming round to us, you also started to thrive and grow and then, within two weeks, started fighting with each other. You then popped out your testicles (FINALLY) so those were whipped away sharpish, but you couldn’t be rebonded. You managed to get to Butterfly and tore him nastily on his hip, so we couldn’t try it.

So you moved into the Living Room. You grew and grew, and you came round and came round. You grew into the most stunning and handsome bunny, with a beautiful mane.

You formed a really special bond with my dad in particular. You’d jump up for strokes and love from him. You were exceptionally particular and were very clear when I was stroking you wrong but I couldn’t stroke you like dad and you wouldn’t tolerate anything else. You soon grew to learn that actually I wasn’t horrendous and used to let me stroke you.

You were very clear with all your wants. You definitely didn’t like your nails clipped (the bite marks on my knees proved that) yet as soon as you went back onto the floor you came back over for treaty noms. You loved crazy binkying and bunny 500s everywhere.

You had such life!

When you first came we thought you would be stunted and so you, along with the other, had a place at Rainbow Rabbits, however, as you grew and changed we decided you didn’t need a place, so we started looking for a home.

You met two lovely people who would have given you such a wonderful home, but they had a sick bunny and vet advice said it wasn’t appropriate to rehome you to them sadly.

So you stayed, and we all kept bonding, and you kept being a cheeky turdbrain and stayed firmly placed in our hearts.

I always say that rabbits stay with me until someone else can offer them more; that’s how much I love them. Here, we had turned him from deaths door around to a handsome, healthy, loving rabbit. Our job was done. Someone else who could give him friends, someone else who could give him more space.

In August you we found this. A home where you could have the run of the downstairs of a house, and at least one ladyfriend.

It took us a long time to get you to a place where you were bonded and able to go to a home. You were just SO happy with your new wifeys!

I was worried and unsettled and my gut instinct said it wasn’t right. I didn’t know why. My gut instinct is always right though. I can only think, with hindsight, that I was identifying something in you that was already developing.

We worked closely with your new family, and saw you every month. Again, hind sight tells us that you started showing your problems very quickly in the form of very sore feet. Your family worked very hard to beat this, and these did succeed. The next visit you still weren’t right, but in a different way, you had lost some life in your eyes; your eyes always sparkled, but they weren’t. Again, we worked on why this might be and when I saw you in January you looked amazing and were so happy. You were Hay Monster again.

I didn’t expect to see you again, but then your family asked me if I would board you all whilst they were on holiday. Oh this was very exciting, you were going to come home and I was going to have visitors! I did see you again before them, a couple of times- first it was to clip nails, and you were top notch.

Then I got that stomach dropping call on that Friday. I knew something was seriously wrong. I couldn’t fathom why you hadn’t been taken to the vets that day when it was first noticed that something was wrong. I shot up there and you were so sad; hurting. I knew things were very serious and your family decided to take you to see their vet.

They made the best decision that they could, but the vet was not competent. When we arrived his words were ‘I’m wondering why you brought him, he can move’- never mind the fact he wasn’t eating, couldn’t use his back legs properly, etc. He moved you about like a lump of meat, and you were so scared, I could see it in your eyes. I wanted to tell the vet to stop. When I asked for pain relief, he asked me what indication I had that you was in pain, so I explained, and he pretty much brushed me off, but did give pain relief (but not Metacam). I asked about X-rays, but he said that you would be fine and to come back in a week. I knew this wasn’t ok but as you weren't my bunny, there was little I could do.

We went back to your home, and settled you down. Whilst at the vets you had lost the full use of your legs and were walking on your wrists. You were visibly distressed. We settled you in a confined space and I said my goodbyes; I didn’t expect you to live through the night.

I came home very upset about the fact you were ill and not getting good vet care- you guys were all supposed to go when you can have better than me, not to suffer at the hands of a crap vet.

Your owner tried to fight the vets, for Metacam, for x-rays and they were useless, and somehow Hay Monster, you carried on fighting, and the next Thursday you all came to see my vet. I was so relieved. She said there was something wrong with your spine, and put you on a proper dose of pain relief. Your family felt they couldn’t meet your needs and the vet said I had the experience necessary, and it was decided that you, and your wifeys, would all come home with me. So you did.

You were bright and alert. You had lost weight but we got it up. You had a wobbly back end, but once settled from travelling your front legs were fine. Then, after a week you deteriorated rapidly and we had to have you admitted to the vets for pain relief. The next day you had x-rays. From then on, you were never as good.

The x-rays showed Scoliosis and two slipped discs. you came home walking on your front right wrist and unable to move your front left leg.

Your family felt that they couldn’t look after you at all anymore and the option was for me to take you or for you to be PTS. You had so much life that my gut said you had to become mine, and so did my family. So you did. Your wifeys went back home when your family were able to take them. We moved Angel downstairs to give you a bunny smell around, and bought you a special small cage.

So, we had to fight, and fight we did- because YOU wanted to. We battled the bald, cracked, bleeding spot you had on your belly- it healed and your fur regrew. We battled the eye infections (cutting the fur away from your eyes plus meds) and the ear mites. We would go out and gather and cut grass, apple leaves, rose leaves and dandelion leaves in huge amounts because it was all you would eat. You wouldn’t move for food, so we had to put it in front of you. Every day I fed you at least twice, sometimes more, with diluted babyfood. You were heavily medicated. We also battled a scab on the wrist you was walked on (so you ended up wearing a Glove Finger Sock) and sore feet. It was all worth it.

But you know what? You improved! Very slowly. You were able to regrow fur. Your sore feet got less red, and only mildly pink, you was able to stand up and periscope, you could scoot around the floor winding up Angel, you would be prepared to attack Angel if Angel came near your cage, you started drinking by yourself (this was massive), and you were able to keep himself clean. You would lick me loads, and I truly believe you knew I was trying to help. We reduced your pain relief because you were more comfortable and weren’t breathing fast or having clear shooting pains. You was getting back everything about you that was Hay Monster, including the biting when you were letting me know you didn’t like it, although you never bit, just placed your teeth strategically. You were regaining use of your left shoulder. You were fighting so, so hard, and you were winning!

Then, Wednesday night, when I went to feed you, you started to make the most horrendous noise. I thought first of all it would ease when you were settled, but it didn’t. So we rushed to the vets. We discussed the options and I had already decided in my head what was and wasn’t fair and I knew. I knew this wasn’t fair. This was a battle we couldn’t win, and shouldn’t try to win.

So we let you go.

Mate, we’re all heart broken. We love you and miss you so much. We all spent so much time looking after your and built and adjusted our routine around you, and now there is such a void.

I keep thinking ‘should I have let you go’ ‘had you stayed, could I have prevented this’. Maybe I could have prevented the slipped discs, but not the scoliosis. But, at the end of the day, you had 5 months of quality in a home where you got more than you would have here. Always quality over quantity. Always.

I’m so, so glad that your family turned to me in your hour of need, and so glad mate, that we had the chance to fight with everything. I’m so glad you came home, because I really feel that’s what you did. you had a holiday and then you came home. You knew you were loved, and you knew we were trying to help, even when it wasn’t comfy. I’ve never been licked so much by a bunny who should be feeling such distress. I loved winding you up to get the ‘nips’ like when you nipped my toe. That was hilarious.

I always had this dream that you would get your front legs back and we would prove the vet wrong- the vet who said I needed to make a decision. We did prove her wrong, but not to that extend. Just last week I was telling her about you and she said it sounded like you had a quality of life. I’m so sorry we never reached my dream, but I so hope that right now, wherever you are, you’re free and you’re healed. That you are restored to your former prime and are happy.

I’ll always love you mate. I just wish you’d been here for longer and that we had won.

Binky Free my Very Special boy, Hay Monster


[align=center]Hay Monster

June 2010 – 13[sup]th[/sup] June 2012

Sweet Dreams

Nancy McClelland

Supporting Member
Jul 1, 2007
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Las Vegas, Nevada, USA
We're so sorry for your loss. We just had to do the same with our little girl Coal, and even though she was 13 1/2 it still was devastating. Rest in peace little man and binky free.


Well-Known Member
Apr 23, 2012
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Chicago, Illinois, USA
So sorry to hear of the bad news. At least you gave him everything and as much happiness as he could have. You gave him the best for the little amount of time he had on earth.
Hope you are well
Binky free lil guy!!

katherine at sacred stories

Well-Known Member
Jul 3, 2012
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colonial heights , Virginia, USA
I'm new to the site and just saw this. I am so touched, I am crying. Even though his time was short and he had health struggles, he had the greatest gift any animal can have in this life--the experience of real, true, extraordinary love and care. You are an inspiration. I hope you and your other bunnies are healing from your loss and doing well.

Binkie Free, adorable HayMonster!!! I wish I'd known you!!!

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