Feeling really guilty.

[Jessyka]

So I got a new bun and he's amazing. I just feel this overwhelming sense of guilt. I don't know if it's because I couldn't stop what happened to Bayou and I feel like it's too soon or because I feel like I don't deserve this precious little bunny I adopted. I also feel bad because I'm still grieving but I don't want to seem ungrateful for Dio.

I know that Dio can't tell that because as long as he gets his greens and head pats, he couldn't tell the difference. I think I just didn't give myself long enough to grieve but all the pieces lined up so perfectly for me to get Dio so soon. His last owner was so sad to give him up and I can totally understand why because he's awesome.

It's just a hard time for me right now and I think you guys are the only ones who understand the emotional attachment you can get to a bunny. My other friends are supportive but don't get it, you know?

I suppose it's my fault for assuming another bunny would heal the hole in my heart. I've never dealt with pet loss before though so I had no way of knowing. I love Dio though, don't get me wrong.

So many emotions!

anic:

 

[agnesthelion]

I think you need to give yourself some time. Dio Won't take the place of Bayou but you will soon build a different bond with Dio.

It could be that Bayou will be your heart bunny too. The one that just stole this place in your heart and no other bunny will ever do that. And that's okayntoo. You need tomgive yourself permission to not love Dio in that same way. You will still love Dio, but don't feel guilty if it always just feels different than the love you had for Bayou.

I know what you mean about friends not getting it. It's tough because people don't think a bond can happen with a rabbit. But it can!!

Time will start to heal you. You won't forget about bayou of course, but the hurt will start to fade a bit and you will be able to think of him and smile instead of just be sad.

Give yourself some time. Give Dio some time. Don't beat yourself up over these feelings. I bet it will all work out.

Best to you.

 

[gmas rabbit]

Don't feel badly. Most of us go through this when we get a new bunny. The bonding and attachment to the new bunny may take time, but believe it or not as you bond the intense grief that you feel will ease. The grief and loss we feel toward our lost loves never really disappears, it just lessens as we let go and love another. The greatest act of love towards those that we have lost is to give that love to another. They would want that. Sometimes loving is not instant and to assume that it will be is just putting extra pressure on yourself. Take your time, give the new little one lots of pets and loving, one day you will discover that you heart is attached to him too.

 

[littl3red]

I'll start by saying, I am so sorry for your loss. I understand how people don't "get it", I have gone through grieving family both human and otherwise, and I have personally found that I grieve for the family members with paws the same way I grieve for my human family members that have passed on. For me, emotionally, there is no difference.

I've never had experience with losing a rabbit in particular, but I have gone through a very hard time after losing two of my rats that I love dearly, Beta and Monty. They died within two weeks of each other, and I was, for lack of a better word, broken by grief. My manager gave me time off work because I simply couldn't function. But I had one rat by himself, so I knew I had to get him friends, because they can't be kept alone. I got the twins, Kibble and Kentucky, and they were an absolute joy to have in my life... once I let them be. That's what you have to do, you have to let them bring you happiness and recognize that they are not replacing anything. I'm sure Beta and Monty would have wanted me and Pixel, my then-lone rat, to have the twins in our life. There is absolutely nothing wrong with loving a new "baby." It does not mean you love the ones that have passed any less.

I hope you continue to share a healthy, joyful bond with Dio, and understand that there is nothing wrong with inviting him into your life.

 

[katherine at sacred stories]

I lost a bunny three months ago and have adopted two that will be coming this Sunday. I totally relate to what you're feeling. I'm excited and joyful about the new bunnies coming but then I feel a rush of grief when I remember that it's not my lost bunny that's on the way but someone new.

I try to remind myself that it took time for the bond to develop with the Scout, the bunny I lost, and that it will take time for the new ones as well. And that the new bunnies can never replace Scout but the love I give them might be a way to honor her.

I'm trying to orient myself to letting these bunnies be themselves...give them lots of time to get to know me...and trust that our own special relationship will grow over time.

I also really agree with what was said above. It's possible that Scout was my "heart" rabbit and nothing will be quite the same...and it's ok to let that be ok.

You are not alone in how you feel...I've found that there is a special intensity to the grief I feel for Scout...don't quite understand it but it's definitely strong. Friends don't understand...they think it would be less than a cat or dog or even a person...but that's not true.

Give yourself time, know ALL your feelings are valid...I think it will all work out in time.

HUGE HUGS from someone who knows how much it hurts.

 

[Jessyka]

Thank you so much everyone. I knew I could count on RO.

 

[Samara]

I lost my oldest cat in June unexpectedly; I still have days where I stare at his cremation urn and just start weeping. The only thing that's helped me grieve is utterly throwing myself into my other pets, rabbits included. I go all above and beyond, more so than normal, and give them all the love that's boiling over because Grover isn't here anymore.

I feel guilty being the only one in our house of 4 humans (including me) that isn't ready for a second (new) cat. Would I love the new cat as much as Grover? Sure thing! But I would feel terrible that suddenly Groovy is gone and Poof! a new cat has "taken his place". I think I'll know when the right cat comes along and it's time.

I think Dio popped into your world to help you grieve Bayou. You're doing the right thing by sharing how you feel; it's part of the process. It's an awful process to be sure, but also one that comes with loving these little (and sometimes huge) guys.

Be bold. You'll get through it. We're here for you

:hug:

 

[LakeCondo]

There's no right or wrong length of time for getting a new pet. I have a friend who gets another female long-haired Chihuahua in less than a week after one passes. I couldn't do that, but it seems to work for her.

And as long as they live in our hearts, they're still real.

 

[cwolfec]

The passing of an animal friend is so very real and painful. There may always be an ache for your passed bun, but Dio is in your life for a reason. It sounds like from the way the timing worked out that he is there to help heal your broken heart. He isn't there to replace anyone, he is there to love you and receive your love too.

Best of luck to you and your new bun!

 

[katherine at sacred stories]

I've posted these before but here are two poems that help me in my grieving for my bunny:

My heart still aches with sadness
and secret tears still flow.
What it meant to loose you
no one will ever know.
__________________________________

I'm not always ready to say this one but,
when I am, it helps:

No after, no before.
I feel you close to me.
I release you to be free.
For I am in you
and you are in me.