Feeling left out and just need to vent

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BunnyLove89

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I'm not really looking for advice because I know it's just me being ridiculous, but I do need to vent because it's bothering me.

I've been friends with a married coupe who I'll call Ryan and Kate for 3 years. I've been boarding my horses at their farm this whole time. There are other boarders (several females and 1 guy) and we used to go riding together a lot and just hang out with the horses. Well in the past several months I have stopped being invited to ride with them. I don't know why. I won't even know they are going until I see photos on Facebook or I get to their farm and they are all leaving.
Ryan and Kate started having marriage problems this summer and I wound up adopting 2 of their dogs because Ryan was threatening divorce if Kate didn't find a home for them.
I got a text last Friday from Kate saying that Ryan cheated on her and they were getting a divorce and I needed to move my horses. I was planning on bringing my horses to my property anyway as soon as I get a fence up (it had been started before I knew they were divorcing). Kate is also going to be bringing her horses to my property to board as well as one of the other female boarders. I have been encouraging Kate and we've been texting and I'm just trying to help her in any way I can. She is my friend and she is also going to be a bridesmaid in my upcoming wedding.
Her husband was bad mouthing her on Facebook and I defended her, as well as 2 of the other female boarders. That resulted in us all being deleted as his friends, which doesn't bother me. He's a cheater and is saying that it's all Kate's fault. I don't need to be friends with someone like that.
I texted her yesterday asking how she was doing and she said she was okay and that she was going partying. Then I saw on Facebook that she was out with all of the other female boarders. And I feel left out and a bit used since I'm trying my best to help the situation by being supportive and letting all the horses stay at my place.
I'm being ridiculous, right?
 

Nancy McClelland

Larry
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Who knows. Life is what it is. I really like the fact that his cheating is her fault--OMG. George Carlin said it best--"God must love stupid people 'cause he made so **** many".
 
S

Sophie's Humble Servant

Your perception is reality. You could share your feelings with her and see what she says. I would probably feel the same way as you in this situation. You'll find out either way if you ask. Maybe her response isn't something you want to hear and maybe it's all just a big misunderstanding...either way, better to know what's up than continue to live in limbo, trying to guess what the reasons are.
Hope it works out positively for you:)
 

bunnyman666

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It seems you are being used. My wife has been in a similar situation with her so-called "best friend" who uses her for whatever she can get out of my wife. She will decide to hang out with other people, then sulks if my wife has other friends. Then she invades my house and uses our pool. And I was offered up to do her and her sister's hair for cheap (grrrrrr).

I don't want to come off harsh here. I hate when peoples' good nature is exploited, and it seems you and my wife are kindred spirits.

One other thing: hasn't social media brought out the stupid in people?
 
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You could always ask something along the lines of "What's up? We haven't been out as a group much lately..." and see if she addresses how you haven't been invited. (Alternatively, just be entirely straight-forward about it with something like "Why haven't I been invited along? We're pretty close, and it kind of hurts when I see all of the photos online...")

From your point of view, it certainly seems like you're being taken advantage of and left in the dust when it comes to the fun stuff. It's worth having a discussion about; there may be something else there that you're not aware of. As it is, going through a divorce can be a pretty straining thing and emotional stress may tweak how someone acts. I mean...you've adopted the dogs, know her personal business, and feel close enough to include her in your wedding...I don't think it's inappropriate to sit down and talk to her in person about how you feel and how she might be feeling, etc.
 

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