Close friend with depression?

[PepnFluff]

Hey guys, sorry I haven't been around in awhile, been busy with life haha. Hope everyones well, but have a little issue on my hands which was hoping some of you may have advice on?

Anway my close friend shall call him Edward has just been diagnosed with major depression. Edward, Ginny and I are really close friends but he's got a massive crush on Ginny, thinks he's in love with her. Ginny of course doesn't really feel the same way and he's decided to stop hanging with her which means me as well for awhile. To try help himself get all his feelings together as it's all a bit too much I'm not convinced this is going to work but it can't harm to try?He's not a guy who's all recluse and quiet either, he's shy round people he doesn't know but round friends he's a crack up and witty guy.

I of course don't like any of my friends being sad but it's not like a big hug and a day of fun is going help him out of this, although I can try . I know many of you would of personally suffered from depression yourselves or like me have had a close friend with it. I know I shouldn't treat him any diffrently, and won't but has anyone got ideas etc that I could do to help? He knows he can come to me to talk, I bake a mean carrot cake, can easily make him laugh but I feel I should be doing more?

 

[Luvmyzoocrew]

I feel like you cant help someone who doesnt want to help themselves. Is he taking meds for his depression? If not just try to be there, and if he is just try to be there,lol. Still go and hang out with him if you want.

 

[Nancy McClelland]

Just let him know your there if he wants to talk. Sometimes what is needed is time a little space and sometimes it helps to have someone to open up to but it has to be his move. Just be available and let him know. Good Luck!!

 

[Brandy456]

Just let him know your there if he needs anything, and leave it at that.
Not to mean harsh, but when i'm depressed I don't want someone attempting to 'fix' me, because it more then likely doesn't work.
Make him the sweets you want, but I think letting him know your there for him is key

 

[PepnFluff]

Thanks guys, yeah with big stuff like this he does tend to keep it to himself and I knowtelling me was a huge thing for him. I'm going to wait for him to talk to me about it, I told him last night that if he ever wants to talk even if it's at 3am, that he can. I don't think he's on meds at the moment, he's going to the counsellors and that's a BIG step for him as he's a mans man if you get me, thinks he can just "suck it up" so to speak. Thanks very much for that Brandy, I was having a google just before and it said not to try "fix" him with fun things etc so i'll refrain from that although he has said he'd still like his birthday cake haha.

 

[kirstin]

Hey there...

I was diagnosed with major depression back in January. Just like everyone's been tellin you, do everything you can to be there for him. You guys seem to be pretty close, so it must be at least somewhat easy to know if he wants company, or just time by himself. You're smart not to treat him any differently. Let him know you care, be the best friend you can be, and let him open up to you if he wants. Try to look after him, make sure he hasn't got plans for suicide or anything.

Best of luck to ya.

 

[PepnFluff]

Thanks very much Kirstin, it's good to know that what i'm doing is right, especially from someonewhos experiencing it rather than just looking in, really appreciate itsometimes I just wish I could do more you know, I know I can't but it can be very frustrating. Yeah I can read him like a book which is very good sometimes, he hasn't been to school in the past two days but he was there today which is an big improvement Thanks heapseveryone, he's asked me not to tell anyone so it's good to be able to get great advice from here.

 

[kirstin]

No prob. ^^

 

[Brandy456]

Maybe have the 'theres more fish in the sea' talk?

 

[PepnFluff]

Hahaha Brandy, yesssh, that talk...I think It may need to wait awhile, broached that to him and lets say he think's she's the"one" and that he's flipping in love with her. He's just turned 18and i'm like buddy you've got so much more of you're life left to live. You live in a town with 45,000 people you're going to leave next year and you WILL find someone else, buuuut I don't think thats what he's wanting to hear at the moment so will let him mourn for awhile.