Can I ask all you ladies a question?

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Bunnys_rule63

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At the moment I am studying 'language and gender' in my English language class and we are investigating people's views into the different social titles used (Mr, Mrs, Master, Sir, Matron etc)

My question to you ladies is this; what is your view on Mrs vs Miss vs Ms as a form of address? What associations do you have with those forms of address? Which do you preferand why? (particularly is you call yourself 'Ms' something.)

I hope you don't mind me asking you guys (or should I saygals:p), but I need to ask a selection offemale adultsand as the vast majority of my female friends are teenagers they aren't much help.;)Thank you kindly!:D


Jess
 

polly

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Ok I see Miss as when you are young/ before marriage

Mrs for being married and Ms for if you have got a divorce and gone back to your maiden name or are say over 25 for some weird reason!!

It doesn't really bother me what I get and i never bother correcting. Though I am a mrs now I got Ms a lot when i ran my business in my maiden name.
 

trailsend

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I agree basically with what Polly said. I am not married nor am I planning on it, but I have been in a long term relationship forever. I usually go by Ms. Miss is fine too, but I agree it seems young, and for my business I use Ms. But really I don't need any of them lol. I rarely bother correcting unless someone calls me Mrs. *my husbands last name* then they get corrected! My husband is divorced and his ex still uses his name, plus my Grandfather changed our family name when he came from Poland, and my father and I are the only ones left with it, so I figured I'd keep it lol.
 

tonyshuman

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I'm not married, but I'm 22 and I prefer to be Ms. over Miss. Miss just sounds like a little girl to me. I'm a "real adult" now, LOL. I usually address letters to Ms. if I'm not sure of their marital status, but I'm lucky in that I'm a graduate student and a lot of the people I come into contact with are "Prof."s or "Dr."s.

Another issue you might want to think about is kinda specialized to science and academia, but I think about it a bit. When you're in grad school (and even undergrad), you publish scholarly papers in journals. That's how you get a reputation as a good scientist, and eventually what goes on your resume and gets you jobs. It's more important to have published a lot of papers than to have a PhD in some cases! If you get married, you might change your last name, and when people go onto the internet to read the papers you've published, it becomes difficult to find the right ones. So, women in science have an even greater conflict when it comes to changing your last name.

Assuming I ever get married (haha), I think what I'll do is legally change my name to Claire Middlename Maidenname-Marriedname, or Claire Maidenname Marriedname, so that I can publish papers under my maiden name, but still have the same last name as my husband and/or kids to cut down on confusion. However, (at the risk of sounding like an old fogey) in today's society, relationships are changing so much (with divorce, second marriages, domestic partnerships, same-sex couples) that traditional ways of changing names based on marital status don't really apply anymore, I think.
 

trailsend

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You are right when you say that todays relationships are changing so much. Without sounding like an old foggy lol.

My partners cousins are in their eighties, and his wife still goes by Mrs. Peter *their last name* They have been together for 50 years. Rarely do things like this take place anymore. I think it's just wonderful what they have and have had. But things are definately different now.
 

HoneyPot

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Well... I am married now, but I didn't take my husband's last name, so I usually prefer Ms. with my own last name attached.

Even before I was married though, I always preferred Ms. once I got too old to feel like a Miss. It was probably around 23 or sowhen "Miss" felt like it was too young.

Nadia
 

Gabby

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Ma'am kinda makes me feel old, miss doesn't bother me if someone is trying to be nice and be like hey miss you dropped your book, etc, but typically I don't use Ms Mrsor Miss unless requested on a form, then I put Mrs. And while I despised my maiden name, to hear someone call me Mrs. (last name) makes me think that's not me that's my mother in law LOL and hubby and I have been together 11 years and i still get that feeling LOL

HAHa however I am often refured to as "the bunny girl" when people can't recall me name...

we talked about this at work, how we can all have our super hero names, I'm bunny girl, another is order girl, yet another is desk natzi girl.. etc. ok off topic i know but i was just thiking of that












 

pamnock

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I'm a Scout leader and the boys are instructed to use titles of respect, as any one should when formally addressing or introducing individuals.

Mrs. Nock ;)
 

mouse_chalk

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Interesting question!

I'm 23, and personally I prefer being called 'Miss' to 'Ms'...I dunno, I guess that 'Ms' is as Polly said, used by an older woman who either wants to keep her marital status a secret or has been divorced before? I kinda like 'Miss' as it makes me sound young (nothing wrong in that!) and independant, like everyone knows instantly I'm young and not married etc etc.... Not that I ever get called by my title though, except when it appears on letters or the call-in screen at my doctor's surgery!

Having said that, I'd LOVE to be a Mrs! And I'd definately take Steve's name ifwe got married... That's one of the reasons I would be married- to share my partner's name and make it all official like...If only....sigh.... :)

God, I sound old-fashioned! I'm not, honest! GIRL POWER!!! :p
 

JadeIcing

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HoneyPot wrote:
Well... I am married now, but I didn't take my husband's last name, so I usually prefer Ms. with my own last name attached.

Even before I was married though, I always preferred Ms. once I got too old to feel like a Miss. It was probably around 23 or sowhen "Miss" felt like it was too young.

Nadia
Ditto except I took my husbands name.
 

slavetoabunny

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The reason I didn't change my last name when I got married was because we have the same first name (Pat and Patti). The mail would have gotten way too confusing. I use my maiden name, but prefer to be addressed as Mrs. "maiden name".
 

stargazerLily

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Before I had my daughter, I prefered to be called Miss. Now that I have a child, and am over 25, I prefer Ms. When I am addressing someone and I don't know if they are married or not, I use Ms. since it seems less insulting to call a Mrs a Ms instead of calling a Mrs a Miss, if that makes sense.

And overall, I rather be called Miss, Ms or Ma'am than be called Honey or Sweetie by some one I don't know.
 

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