This is a very long post, but I need to find the words to describe the situation, I apologise if it is too lengthy. My beloved 7 and a half year of lop passed away Wednesday noon.. i didn’t order a post mortem to find the exact cause of death, in part cause of financial constraints, and also partly cuz I didn’t want to find out the reason why (how much of my fault it was..) I just know it was due to her bloat/ GI stasis. I have 2 rabbits, and she was a joy in my life. I can’t believe she’s gone. She’s had a few rounds of GI stasis throughout the years, and after the first few times with visits to the vet, I learnt to treat her myself with belly massages as well as syringe feeding her with water and food. On Tuesday around 6pm, I realised she was pooping large soft masses that stuck to her butt. She was clearly uncomfortable and did not want to eat, drink, or move. I left her for a while and waited till evening to see if it fit better/worse. At 10pm, she was still the same. So I syringe fed her some water and massages. She didn’t seem weak, the usual bunny-loaf posture and could still hop around to find her comfortable spot/position. On Wednesday morning (about 12 hours after symptoms appeared) i woke up to find her in the same place as the night before, staying there for the whole night. I massaged her a little more, and thought that I should give it a bit more time before bringing her to the vet, since it’s only been 12 hours and her bouts usually lasted 24-36 hours before getting better with home treatment. I went out to get some ridwind, and gave her a long belly massage before feeding her the ridwind at 1130am on wednesday. Up till that point, she was in her bunny-loaf position. She looked upset and clearly uncomfortable, but did not look weak or dying. I went to take a shower, and was gonna take her to the vet after that. When I came out, she was sprawled on the ground looking very weak with her paws sprawled all over. I panicked, and ldrove as fast as I could to the vet （30min drive) My beloved bunny passed away on the way to the vet, less than 24 hours after she started exhibiting symptoms, and barely 30mins after the last round of massages and ridwind. I can’t help but think that instead of helping her, I made her condition worse. The massages worsened the bloat/stasis instead of helping her. That’s the only reason I can think of that her condition worsened so quickly in less than 24 hours. I can’t get over it, and I don’t know if I ever will. My lovely bunny had a good few more years with us, and I let her down by failing to get her to the vet on time. I had a similar situation many years ago, where my puppy passed away on the way to the vet too. Coincidentally, it was on the same date. 23rd October 2002. I blamed myself for not being faster, not catching onto the signs earlier. Tried to show my other rabbit that she’s gone, but he can’t seem to understand and it breaks my heart. My lovely bunny only had me to count on, and I let her down. I work from home so I spend about 8 hours with my bunnies everyday running around my room. I am devastated and I’ve been telling myself this is just a bad dream, and I’ll wake up from it. No words can describe the pain and grief I feel right now. What do I do from here, how do I overcome the guilt? How do I continue living my life, cuz I can’t imagine life without her right now, especially when her life ended prematurely due to my own mistake. please reply with pictures of your bunnies as well, it would mean a lot to me..