Anxiety

[BethM]

Just a note- I had this all written out, but then heard a rabbit thump, went to check on them, and came back to find my Firefox had closed.


Ok. Start again. I don't talk much about this irl, because people usually just laugh and tell me to get over it.

I am afraid to be alone in my house. It's not specific to this house, it was bad before we moved, then got better for awhile, now it's really bad again.
It worst at night, and then it doesn't matter if I'm alone, or if my husband is here, I get terrified at just about every little noise. From the time the lights go off, everything frightens me. From whatever the rabbits are doing to normal pops and creaks to cars driving by to the heater turning on. Every noise sends me into a panic. Stomach drops, heart races, all of that. I've recently started having chest pains, upper left side, and am wondering if this is related in any way.

**Earlier, there was a noise that sounded like the window opening, but I think it was someone getting into their litter box. (Then the thumping.......omg.)**

I don't really sleep much, because of it. I know that is having bad effects on my body, but...I can't help it. When I do manage to sleep, I wake up every time the motion light in the back turns on. (I think it's mostly neighborhood cats, and sometimes plants moving in the wind, but as soon as that light goes on, I am awake. It doesn't even shine directly into this room, but I still wake up with it.) I get visual disturbances, so it seems like things are moving, but they aren't.
I don't even know how anyone manages to live alone - I am constantly terrified! Even during the day, I will check all the closets, make sure the doors are locked, and I'm still scared. I know I shouldn't be, but I am.

Plus. I am too anxious about things to take anything for it. I am terrified that I will take xanax or some other anti-anxiety thing, or even just a sleep aid, and I won't notice when something DOES happen. And the less I sleep, the worse things get, so the less I sleep......

For awhile, I considered having someone in to check if there were unshielded wires causing high electrical fields, I know that can sometimes cause problems, but it really isn't specific to this house. It's been better or worse for years now.

I don't really know what to do, at this point.

eta, I also get tinnitus (ringing in the ears) pretty bad at night, and it's worse when I'm really anxious.

 

[BethM]

Oh, another thing I had in the first draft, my sinuses are really bad. I can go for days at a time not smelling anything, even though I might be breathing just fine. I think my sense of smell was probably damaged through from chronic sinus infections, and two sinus surgeries.

Anyway. I can be not smelling much of anything, and then suddenly, it's like my sense of smell goes haywire and I'll catch a strong whiff of something that may or may not be there. Normally, this doesn't bother me. But it can really make me very very upset sometimes, like a couple days ago, I was home alone, and suddenly got the smell of cigar smoke. (No one here smokes.) It's usually gone in a minute or two, but by then my anxiety has really set in, in a bad way.

 

[Elf Mommy]

Smelling smoke that isn't there can be a symptom. You should check with your doctor on that. From what I've read, it can be connected to vitamins or medication that you are on. Unfortunately, as was the case with my grandmother, it can also be signs of an upcoming seizure or stroke. If you suffer from migraines, it can also be a sign that one is coming on. Check with your doctor. He/She may refer you to a neurologist for some tests. Take care of you!

 

[BethM]

Thanks, Minda. It's not just smoke, I'll get just totally random things. Flowers, food, cleaning products,etc. Just happened that time it was smoke in an empty house, and it terrified me.

I do have a lot of headaches, though. A day without a headache is an unusual day for me. Partly from my sinus troubles, and I also clench my teeth when I sleep.

Husband had to go to work at midnight last night. I had all the lights and the tv on, couldn't fall asleep until around 4 (had to get up at 6), I'm a mess today.

I'm sort of embarassed, to be "afraid of the dark" at age 34.

 

[BethM]

Minda, I also wanted to add....thank you for the suggestions. I had always just thought my weird smell things were related to my sinus problems. (One possible complication to the sinus surgeries I had was loss of smell and taste, short- and long-term, and I even have a small spot in the roof of my mouth that's been numb since the first surgery.)

I hadn't even considered that it could be neurological. It's certainly something I should look into.

 

[Pipp]

BethM wrote:

Plus.  I am too anxious about things to take anything for it.  I am terrified that I will take xanax or some other anti-anxiety thing, or even just a sleep aid, and I won't notice when something DOES happen.  And the less I sleep, the worse things get, so the less I sleep......

I'm not a fan of prescription drugs to begin with, they always do something they're not supposed to do, and I don't like feeling 'altered' and a REALLY hate feeling 'hungover' in any sense. And I live in a very old wooden house with other suites in it and I'm terrified of fires. And I have bunny escape artists who have been known to jump in other bunnies' pens and set off bunny brawls. I want to be able to wake up in an emergency.

I've been a horrible insomniac all my life, or at least when trying to fall asleep. My head hitting the pillow is the signal for me to relive my day, plan the next one, drudge up bad memories, obsess over things left undone and anything else that puts my mind (and body) in overdrive.

I finally found a drug, Zopiclone, that will let me fall asleep but also let me wake up with a clear head when needed, even minutes later. If I can't sleep on my own, I take half of a 7.5 mg tab.

My doctor thinks I'm too conservative with them, he suggests that I just take a whole one every night, but the half just several nights a week works for me. Just the thought that I can take one to fall asleep if I need too makes me a lot more relaxed about trying to sleep. I no longer dread it.

I also have tinnitus (and vertigo) and it's amazing how much a good night's sleep helps that. (Cutting down on sodium and drinking a lot more fluids also helps).

It really is self-perpetuating. The lack of sleep really contributes to the jangled nerves that puts you on edge and causes even less sleep.


sas :goodluck

 

[irishbunny]

I don't really have any advice, but I kind of do know how you feel. I get really freaked out when left alone too, I have never had to sleep in my house alone but the thought of having to do that sends a shiver down my spine. I'm up alone now though, and every weird sort of noise I hear freaks me out. When I go to bed as well, I can't sleep with both the light off and no noise, no way. I put on a DVD every night when I go to sleep. Sometimes if I'm super freaked out, I will leave the light on, I used to leave it on all the time, but I made myself keep it off. If I hear any sort of weird noise I freeze and my heart starts pounding

I'm not really afraid of anyone breaking in, it's Ghosts, I know tons of people don't believe in them, but tons of freaky stuff have happened to me over the years and I'm terrified of being alone in the dark. If you turn off all the lights in my house at night, you can't even see your hand in front of your face. If I was left alone in that, I don't even want to think about it :tears2:

No way I could ever live alone....

 

[BethM]

Sas, thanks for the advice. I will have to look into that. You've brought up quite a few things that relate directly to what I'm experiencing.
One of my problems with taking drugs (other than the fear that I'll be too out of it, if something did happen), I have to take three drugs to control my allergies/sinus problems, and birth control. The combination I have now seems to be stable, but I worry about adding anything else. My anxiety problems pre-date all of these meds, so I don't think any of them are the cause of my problems. I'm not excited about possible interactions.

A couple years ago, my mom made me try melatonin at night, and it seemed to help me fall asleep, but nightmares were awful. I already suffer from nasty nightmares (some I've been having as long as I can remembr), so I had to stop. Many mornings, I wake up in a cold sweat. Now she wants me to use some over-the-counter herbal thing, but it's also got melatonin, so I'm wary.

I do also get vertigo, and it's worse lately than normal. It was really bad before my sinus surgeries, then got better. For the past few weeks, I've been getting randomly dizzy, seemingly for no reason, just sitting at my desk or whatnot.

It is interesting that you mention salt and liquids.........I frequently am dehydrated, as I rarely get thirsty. I can go days at a time, drinking maybe two 8-oz drinks a day, before I realize how awful I feel, and that I NEED more fluids. I sometimes wake up feeling like I have a hangover, even though it's been weeks since I drank alcohol. Sometimes I will start feeling thirsty, but then forget to get a drink.
And salt, I crave salt all the time. One day last week, I had Ramen noodles for lunch, potato chips a little while later, and still wanted more salt.

Hmmm. Something to think about.
I really am grateful for the replies. I feel a bit better, knowing others experience some similar things, and have had some luck in overcoming them. You are absolutely right, it is a self-perpetuating thing.

Where would I start, to seek treatment? A general practitioner? I haven't seen one in years, I usually just skip to specialists if I have a medical issue, but I don't have any idea what sort of specialist I would need to see.




Grace, I do believe in ghosts, too. Although they creep me out, I'm not really afraid of them. I don't think ghosts can really and truly hurt anyone. (I've had a few experiences, too, but they've been non-threatening.) It's the human intruders that frighten me. I get disturbing images/thoughts of things that could happen. I don't know where this fear came from, I've never experienced a break-in or robbery.

 

[Wabbitdad12]

I can relate to anxiety issues and Pipp you've describe my bed time, ie. reliving the day etc.

I hope you can find a doctor that will be able to help you.

 

[Pipp]

BethM wrote:

... I have to take three drugs to control my allergies/sinus problems...

....I frequently am dehydrated, as I rarely get thirsty.  I can go days at a time, drinking maybe two 8-oz drinks a day, before I realize how awful I feel, and that I NEED more fluids.  I sometimes wake up feeling like I have a hangover...

... Where would I start, to seek treatment?  A general practitioner? 

Not sure what you're taking but antihistamines make me crazy, edgy and uncomfortable. I find it 'funny' that they say 'may cause drowsiness' on the label. Not with me!! (My mom was the same way).

It took me years to figure out the huge benefits of hydration (and walking a lot), it solved most of my health issues. Eating a lot of fruit, always carrying a water bottle and having a 'jug' of water by my bed made a huge difference. My skin unwrinkled, I lost weight, I had more energy, it controlled my vertigo and tinnitus and took away my headaches.

If I don't drink fluids, I wake up with that 'hangover' headache every time. That was one major side benefit of the Zopiclone, I had to take the pill with a lot of water.

After drinking a few glasses of water, even with having to get up during the night to pee, I still felt more rested an energetic in the mornings.

Its hard to train yourself to reach for a slice of apple or an orange or a glass of juice instead of chips or crackers, but it sure pays off.

Any doctor can and will prescribe the Zopiclone, even your sinus doctor, sleep issues can be a side effect of that, but having a GP to look at the big picture is always a good idea. (But I'm in Canada).


sas :goodluck

 

[BethM]

Pipp wrote:

Not sure what you're taking but antihistamines make me crazy, edgy and uncomfortable. I find it 'funny' that they say 'may cause drowsiness' on the label. Not with me!! (My mom was the same way)....


.....Its hard to train yourself to reach for a slice of apple or an orange or a glass of juice instead of chips or crackers, but it sure pays off......

......Any doctor can and will prescribe the Zopiclone, even your sinus doctor, sleep issues can be a side effect of that, but having a GP to look at the big picture is always a good idea. (But I'm in Canada).....

In the morning, I take Singulair (montelukast) and Zyrtec (cetirizine). The Zyrtec is an antihistamine, but it doesn't make me feel weird at all. (My mom can't take antihistamines, they make her so sleepy she almost passes out. Funny how different things affect people differently!) I also take a probiotic, which helps with digestive issues I've been having. (I suspect the digestive problems are related to the lack of sleep.) I drink almost no caffeine - decaf coffee, decaf soda, I do have 'regular' hot tea, (decaf only after lunch) but that's it for caffeine.
At night, I take Flonase (fluticasone), which I will also use in the morning if my breathing is especially bad.

Funny thing about the fruit/veg......I eat a lot of it during the day. A large carrot at morning break, an apple with lunch, a bit of no-additive fruit leather at afternoon break. I also usually have a small salad with dinner. It's just when that salt craving hits that I have problems, and reach for chips. (Plus, I usually prefer having a bit of cheese for dessert, where most people go for something sweet.)


I will look into getting a GP. In the past, I found that ones I've seen don't do much but refer to specialists. Maybe I just saw a bad one, and I can find someone better. I will also try to be better about my fluid intake.


Thank you, so much, Sas, for chatting with me about this. I really appreciate the insights you've given me.

(I also appreciate the suggestions others have made. All things I really need to consider. Especially since the anxiety has gotten so bad lately. It's been hard to know what direction to go in, which made me feel even worse, but now hearing suggestions and experiences of others, I feel a bit better. Now I just need to find a doctor....)

 

[undergunfire]

I have severe night anxiety. If the husband happens to be out late with friends...every light in the house has to be on and also the back porch & front light has to be on. I can't sleep without the television on either...even if Ryan is sleeping in bed with me. If I have to pee in the middle of the night, I just hold it and hope I don't pee the bed because no way am I going to get up in the barely lit room (only the tv is on) to walk the 10 feet out into the hallway bathroom...LOL!

I am terrified of ghosts and murderers. I feel like a nutso saying that....but I am always scared that I am going to one day have an experience. I am more scared of even the thought of ghosts then murderers, though. I feel like I have had ghost experiences, but it could have all been in my head....I am a super paranoid person.

I don't do anything about my anxiety issues...occasionally I do take my "rescue me" pills, which are loaded with vit. B, peppermint, and st. johns wart....it makes my anxious feelings go away almost completely when I start to feel it. They are all natural pills. Panic/Anxiety is hereditary in my family - on both sides - so I'm still trying to avoid prescription medication, as my dad told me to never go on them because they just mess you up even more...at least in my family's history. Since getting off of birth control, my anxiety issues have decreased greatly, too.

 

[katt]

i suffer greatly from anxiety. it has been a major part of my life for a very long time now.

i too have lots of issues at night (not so much the fearing ghosts or intruders, but racing mind. . . thinking about stuff that happened that day, year, life, ect)

i used to take ativan or xanax for this, but have been warned that they can mess up REM cycles. i also tried ambian, and would be sleeping but walking around the house, cooking, talking to my roommate, ect and wake up the next day with no memory of doing any of it. i have also tried over the counter sleep aides but they all leave me with bad 'drug hangovers' the next day.

my drug of choice is a supplement that in the US you can by over the counter. I would suggest anyone with sleep issues or anxiety issues at nght to consider added melatonin to their life. it really does help, and doesn't leave me groggy the next day at all, even if i don't get 8 hours of sleep!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Melatonin

 

[BethM]

I tried melatonin, and it did help me sleep better. Unfortunately, it also gave me really bad nightmares. I have nightmares frequently, anyway, but they were more frequent and vivid when I was using the melatonin.

I looked up the zopiclone, which Sas suggested, but it's not available in the US. I guess the patent-protected Lunesta is similar (has one of the two compounds in zopiclone). It's not available as a generic right now. My insurance doesn't cover name-brand sleep aids. (There's some sort of process where you have to try a few generics first, before you can get approval tohave the name brand one, which takes 6 months or something, and even then it will be $50/month.)

Maybe I will try the melatonin again. My mom uses it, so if I still don't like it, I can give the rest to her. Or I'll look for the herbal thing she uses now. It's got a low dose of melatonin, plus chamomile and lavendar and some other things.

 

[Wabbitdad12]

I use ambien(zolpidemis the generic)in connection with trazadone. The ambien gets me to sleep and the trazadone tells my brain to relax so I can sleep the whole night.

Good luck.

 

[Elf Mommy]

I used to design my dream home when I was trying to get to sleep. Now, since I'm almost 40 and that seems less and less possible within my lifetime, it just makes me worry more.

Occasionally I can think of an all white piece of paper. I'm writing the word "white" in cursive with a white pen with white ink, over and over.

Lately what has been working is to start counting like this:

one
one, two
one, two, three
one, two, three, four

etc.

However, the key is that I take slow, deep breaths. As I'm breathing in, I'm saying the number I'm on, over and over and over again, concentrating on the breathing and the number. Then on the exhale, I'm once again saying that number repeatedly, starting with the new number on the the next inhale.

This usually works, because I'm slowing my breathing and trying to block everything out.

The other night, I tried something new. I designed illustrations for Goldilocks and the Three Bears in my head. I may try other fairy tales as it was very soothing to me.

I'm up for suggestions on ways to get to sleep, too!

 

[BethM]

I've been thinking about the herbal+melatonin sleep aid, and I think for now, I'll skip it. I don't know why I've been having chest pains, but I should probably not start taking random herbal concotions until that's sorted out. Just in case it's something serious.

Getting to sleep is only part of the problem. Many nights, I can be almost asleep, then suddenly awakened by a noise, such as a car driving by, or the wood floors creaking. Then I'm back to anxious. *sigh*