Separation anxiety in a dog

My little Maltese has the worse separation anxiety. I will admit I did cause it because when she was a puppy I took her everywhere with me and was always cuddling her. Then shortly after getting her things went really bad with my ex and we would fight like crazy, screaming and throwing things at each other and him beating on me. So that didn't help her any.

For the last year and a half though she has had nothing but a very happy and loving positive environment to live in. She gets lots of attention and walks and play time. She is kennel trained and loves her kennel. She has constant access to it and hangs out in there often when we are home.

However once I start getting ready to go out she starts shaking like crazy. She is glued to my heels and as soon as she goes in her kennel she shakes and cries and starts barking non stop.

I have tried every training tip I can think of. Such as getting ready to go out then not leaving. Picking up my keys and randomly acting like I am going out then stay home. I have tried the ignoring her before leaving and when I get home. When she comes out of her kennel when I get home I ignore her until she calms down.

We have tried the thunder shirt. Herbal calming treats, herbal anxiety relief drops and even a small dose of ativan(vet recommended dose).

NOTHING is working. When she goes in her kennel and I leave I have sat outside for awhile to see how long it takes her to calm down and gave up after half an hour and had to leave. I have left and come back an hour later to her STILL barking.

I don't know what to do. Should I just let it happen? Is it going to cause her any long term harm? Is it upsetting me more then it is her?

There has to be something that will work. I am never letting her go. She is my baby and we have been through way to much together. So I would never rehome her because of this. She will be 3 the end of this month.

Picture of my little muppet

Have you tried radio or tv as a baby sitter? Aren't their special videos that dogs are supposed to like?

You've tried so many things, but my guess it [based on the dog whisperer tv show that was on this summer] that she's picking up on your anxiety & it gets magnified. Is there someone who can come over a few times & stay there a little after you leave & then see what happens when they leave? Doing that might give you some ideas.

Is there any chance that your ex's abusive behavior was ever turned on the dog when you left?

You seem to be doing everything right, so I am stumped unless she is picking up on something you're doing emotionally like LakeCondo suggested.

Also, when you see her start to shake and whimper, IGNORE IT. If you go over and try to calm her down, even if it is from a place of love, it is only reinforcing the behavior.

Have you contacted a behaviorist or trainer? Sometimes having someone impartial involved in the training can help since the dog isn't conditioned to react to them that way.

Also, just thought about this after I pressed enter. Have you thought of doing unpredictable when you leave?

Like instead of her going into the crate, the crate door is closed, or she stays in the bathroom, etc?

I wouldn't be surprised if he was abusive with her when I wasn't around.

I have tried leaving her out of her kennel when I leave and she destroyed the apartment. Tried putting her in the spare room with no furniture and she scratched the door to bits and chewed the carpet. I wouldn't leave her in the bathroom here though as there are no windows and it would be dark. The fan and the light are tied together and I am thinking that wouldn't be comfortable for her.

I ignore her shaking and whimpering though I may very well be acknowledged it in some form and not realizing it.

The vet suggested a thing I can plug into the wall that lets out pheromones or something like that but honestly I can't afford to spend $70 on something that more then likely wont work.

Next step might be a trainer. Or some sort of tranq which I really don't want to have to do every time I leave the house.

Also forgot to add. I do leave the radio on and I have tried the TV as well. Her kennel is now beside Rue's cage in hopes that his company might help. I don't know *sigh*

Does she have something to keep her distracted while you're gone? Giving her something like a Tug-A-Jug (http://www.amazon.com/dp/B000KV7ZGQ/?tag=skimlinks_replacement-20 its a puzzle dog toy that they have to figure out how to get the treats out of, very mentally stimulating ) or other dog puzzle toy ( you might want to start with an easier one if she isn't used to puzzle toys) right when you leave might distract her with a "job" to do instead of giving her only her anxiety to focus on. This could help if she's food motivated.

I used to work in a kennel and some dogs there with anxiety problems were on prozac and it seemed to help. Would you be willing to talk to your vet about a medication solution like that? I know that it's pretty extreme.

My dog Kaya had separation anxiety when I first got her. She was terrified of being caged, having come from an animal shelter where she'd been returned twice before, and both the shelter and the vet told me that they didn't think she would ever overcome it. Not believing this, I began working with her, first to relieve her fear of crates, then to alleviate her fear of being left alone (abandoned). I didn't actually leave the house until I knew she was comfortable in her crate; once she was, I would leave the house for five minutes at a time...then 10...then 20...

I covered her crate with a blanket to give her more of a sense of security, and I'd leave a radio on in the room, at a low volume, set on a talk radio station. Every day I'd give her a Kong, filled with wet dog food and then frozen, so she could have something to focus upon once I left. The freezing of the Kong meant that the treat lasted for quite a while. Her crate was in my bedroom, with the door shut, so she could not physically see me leaving. I'd encourage her to enter her crate, then would give her the Kong, shut the door and leave without saying a word. Upon returning home I'd wait a couple of minutes before actually going into the room to let her out, and when I did, again I did so without speaking...no acknowledgement at all of her excitement. Once she calmed down, then I would call her over and pat her, and give her attention.

It took a little while to acclimatize her, but Kaya did calm down once she knew the routine and knew that I would always return. Some dogs may take longer than others, but the key is to never acknowledge the dog when he/she is anxious or excited, never to make a big deal of either leaving or arriving, and never to 'give in' to the dog's cries, no matter how pitiful they may sound. (Also, giving a dog who is dealing with anxiety issues too much attention when home with them can exacerbate the existing problem.) Vet-recommended calming drugs can be used if all else fails.

really good advise from bassetluv and i coulnt have said it better myself. I have a yodeler and hes destructive. We are in training right now and I am going to try some of the things she said also. I do give rawhides in the cage which help. Lately he has been doing much better. It definitely takes time and you must not acknowledge the behavior.

basset thank you! I am going to try some of your suggestions. I really don't want to medicate her. I am off to get a kong toy to freeze with goodies inside it and start from scratch on the kennel training. Thank you so much!

My dog had separation anxiety too. When he was growing up someone was pretty much always home so he never got used to being alone during the day like most dogs. So now when we go out he'll destroy stuff if we leave it out, bark,pace the big front window and basically be crazy until we get back.

We've tried everything but the only thing thats worked is distraction. I make him frozen kongs and the best is raw bones. Barkley will chew on raw bone for hours while we are gone vs the kong that only lasts an hour for him at the most. We also close him off in the living room so he can't get into trouble in the rest of the house. Giving him a big walk before we go out is also really helpful so he is extra tired.

So now we just buy bags of frozen raw bones and give him one whenever we leave. If he's not done chewing it when we get back, its put back in the freezer for next time. Plus its great for his teeth