How Long Did You Wait?

Clearly, everyone's grieving process is unique. Some people find it better to work through the loss of a beloved pet by adopting (and loving) another one; others take an extended "break" from pet ownership (at least of the same species).

How long did you wait after the loss of a bun to adopt another snuggly sweetheart? What factor(s) may have affected your decision (e.g., did you have another bun left behind who wanted another friend, etc.)?

Jenk

I got my first rabbit (Brindy) when I was 11. She died because the people taking care of her while I was on Spring Break let her jump out of her cage and she broke some bones. The vet was not knowledgeable at all about how to save her, so she passed on not quite a year later. My father was so upset at this, that he bought me a dog. I didn't want a dog, I wanted another rabbit, but he was having nothing of it. ...sigh...

I got my next rabbit(Chaucer) in college. She died when she was 2 years old. I had her in a covered pen in the garden with one of her babies during an afternoon. When I went out to retrieve them in the evening, she was gone. Her baby was fine. I don't know exactly what happened to her, and I was very upset by her passing. I had her baby set up to be adopted that week, and called the man who was going to get her to ask if I could keep her instead. He agreed, so I had Mugsy with me. When I went to college away from home, my parents took care of her. The college didn't allow pets in the dorm rooms.

When I got my first teaching job, Mugsy came to live with me as a house bun. I also adopted a castor rex (Tia) for my classroom pet. That was awesome. I had a small class of 2nd grade students. They cleaned her cage every day and she hopped around the classroom while I was teaching. I even had a class job for using a portable dustbuster to clean up her poops. I would love to do that again some day.

At that time, I also adopted an angora rabbit (Fluffy) from one of my students who was NOT taking care of her at all! I shaved her completely and let her start from scratch, as there were so many matts and tangles on her that she was miserable.

Unfortunately, then I had to move across the country. I was miserable to do this move. My dog and cat had to go to my mother in law. The rabbits were adopted out to good homes (Mugsy went to the man who originally wanted her), as were the ferrets, frog, mice, and we gave my Nanday Conure to my brother in law as a wedding present. I was moving into an apartment that already had 4 people living in it. My husband at the time was sleeping under a desk. That's where I slept as well for the first few weeks, and my son slept in a dresser drawer. The complex didn't allow animals and it would've been miserable for them to be there anyway. ...sigh...

After that, it was a good long time until I could get another pet. I married a man who isn't an animal lover. I didn't even think to ask about that before I married him...go figure. I was just in a house where the landlady didn't allow animals. I had none, but didn't think that I wouldn't get any in the future. He met me between spurts of animals and didn't know how attached to them I am. At any rate, the first animal we got together was the rabbit. He just didn't know how perfect that was when he picked one out for my Christmas present!

Man, that turned into a big long post, didn't it? I guess my simple answer is, that I never want to be without a rabbit. When Elf passes on, I'm going to be looking for a fluffball to fill that empty hole in my heart as soon as possible. I say that, but the truth is, that I'll still have to convince the hubby that it's a good idea. Heh

(sorry I rambled)

Elf Mommy wrote:

Man, that turned into a big long post, didn't it? I guess my simple answer is, that I never want to be without a rabbit. When Elf passes on, I'm going to be looking for a fluffball to fill that empty hole in my heart as soon as possible. I say that, but the truth is, that I'll still have to convince the hubby that it's a good idea. Heh

Click to expand...

No worries about rambling. I do the same--especially when writing about my pets.

I wonder how soon I could convince my hubby to seek another bun after we lose one (which--*knock on wood*--won't be for many years to come).... Being a guy, he'll likely say, "No more pets ever."

Side note: I think that every guy says "no more pets"after losing one because they're not accustomed to such emotional pain; it scares and discomfortsthem. My dad refused to get another dog for fivelongyears after my beloved childhood dog, Ben, passed. He's since had two more pooches, one of whom icurrently lives with him and my mom. (Theyadopted Abbey when she was a two-month-oldpuppy, as well as her "sister," Lizzie, who was then a youngkitten.)

I think you're right. They get attached, but don't want to admit to it. My hubby tells me that he doesn't want to be the "bad guy" having to adopt out an animal if something drastic happens in our family.

I lost Jessica early-ish in the year, we still had Romeo although he got extremely stressed and died, I didn't expect to get another bun - ever, atleast not until I moved out. It was a month or two ( I think) past and I still missed the rabbits, I hadnt moved on, I felt like part of my soul was missing, scratch that - part of my soul WAS missing. I have learnt to under stand (from a young age) that just because you get another pet after soon after losing one, it dosent mean you are "replacing" the animal. My parents never "protected" me from the death of an animal (like some parents simply "replace" the animal with a look-alike and pretend its the same pet) anyways, I got Casper a couple or so months after loosing my other two and I feel happy to have rescue him, I still think about my late bunnies day after day, after day and so on.

Babbling ended

I have always had more than one rabbit at a time. I always find i look to the other one after I have lost one.

I usually try to keep them partnered if they have a partner. as an example when Floyd died i didn't think to much about it as Boo is a kind of anti social rabbit but within a couple of weeks she stopped eating. It took me 3 weeks to get her eating again and it really wasn't till we tried her with Nibbler out of interest that we realised she just didn't like being alone. even though he wasn't neutered at the time (Boo is btw) she would put up with his humpiness for the companionship.

so off he went to the vet and they are the most loved up couple I have ever seen.

sorry its so easy to ramble anyways what i am trying to say is any of my pet buns that are partnered i would always get another bun for them as much as for me!!

In my case I have only lost one. We lost Sam in may of 07 bringing our number from 6 to 7. We were sitting for Wyatt who was supposed to go to my mom. In August 07 my husband couldn't let him go. So he stayed. I still held back. I wanted one but didnt feel ready. Than came a new foster in dec 07. He healed my heart and Chibi stayed. Now just this passed Sunday we got Apple and felltotally in love in less than 5 hours.

I didn't get another rabbit after Ruby died, although that was more to do with not being allowed (parents:grumpy.However in terms of feeling ready I'd say it took me about 2/3 months. It was when Millie came back from Jan's and I saw those pictures of her with Shadow that it made me feel ready for another rabbit in my heart.If only my parents agreed.:disgust:

I think it is true that buying another rabbit soon after losing one doesn't mean you are trying to replace the one who has gone. No two rabbits are the same.

Although part of me would like to have another one now, the other part of me is holding back because I'm still thinking about Fluffy's ways and the fact I loved her for 3 and a half years and I know it would take time to build a bond with another rabbit and learn what all their little ways mean.

Some members of this forum have told me that I'll know when its the right time to get another bun, and I believe that. The time it might take to reach that point is different for everyone.

Jo xx

I'm one of those who want to go and get another bunny the very next day.

It's not because I am glad one died and I can't wait to get another, but the death of any bun leaves a great big hole and I want to blot the misery out and try and have something new to think about.

I'm the same with people,; friends or other relationships. I don't think I have been single for more than a week since I was 13 :?. I just seem to need to latch onto something new when I lose something.

I've always had more than one rabbit and animal at a time, so there is no taking a break for me. But I couldn't take a break from animal guardianship. My husband has said several times after we have a real terrible time with a rescue - "no more!" because he cannot take the emotions himself, or from me.... every time I loosea critter they take a little piece of me with them. But I could imagine my life without them, not even for a second.

I lost Berri on February 10th and got Maddie on March 31st. I actually think it might have been a little too soon, because in the beginning I kept comparing her to Berri, but it passed quick enough. I still had Ebony and Pebble, so that helped. I still haven't got another rabbit after losing Pebble and don't want one for a long time.

After Toy my faithful Jersey Wooly companionof almost tenyears passed I waited for over 2 years and adopted Simon. I just never felt right about bringing another rabbit into the house. I wanted another one but the timing never seemed be right.

I later adopted Smitten as a companion for Simon. Then brought Goobie into the house. Simon passed and I adopted Peter a month later. Peter recently passed. I wanted another lop. I found Woody in a shelter. He was a great choice.

Youknow in your heart when it is time.

This is a great question, and I don't recall it every being asked since I've been on this forum.

With my first bun, we weren't close, really. He was my first one and I didn't have the forum then. He passed due to heart failure, so, I knew it was coming. Since then, I have lost pretty much a heart bunny, Angel. So, BunBun was way easier than Angel. Not that I didn't love BunBun, I truly did, but on the other hand, I knew he was ill and saw him breathing heavy night after night, giving him medication which he hated and ended up having a fast breathing episode for about 45 mins after each dose of meds was heartbreaking. I didn't want to put him through that, it took everything out of him. I knew when the end was near for him. I had Angel at the time.

A friend of ours my hubby works with's daughter had a bun she no longer had time for, as she was an active teenager, so they wanted to see if I wanted the bun, all it took was a pic of the bun (now my Snuff) and I wanted him. That was about 3 weeks after losing BunBun. I was ready, strangely enough (I even thought it strange I was ready).

With Angel, it came out of nowhere, all in one day (she was fine the day before, came ill the next and lost her that night, so very fast for me). Since I was also close to her, it was very, very hard for weeks and weeks. To this day, and it's been 7 months, I am not ready. It scares me. So, I think everybun relationship can be different, as leaving different feelings with you on wanting another after the fact. That is just my experience though.

I also think that the health matter you lost them to can make a difference. Something that traumatizes you, such as witnessing a seizure, could halt you in wanting another, I know it would me, I've never seen that, nor do I want to.

I guess alot of factors can play into it. Another thing is that when you know your bun has an illness and you're dealing with a great rabbit vet, you do all you can for the long haul, but you know the outcome. That to me is a tad easier to deal with than, not knowing what happened and questioning your every move. Thatis totally different as far as coping with loss.

It sounds like you are ready to me. I wish you the best of luck in finding that perfect bun. (Sorry that was so long, but it really hit home for me and felt my story could help many in the future).

As you said, it depends on how each individual faces grief. When I lost my first bun to pasteurellosis internal abscesses, I'd just brought home a baby bun, who really helped me get on with my life. I mean, no matter how hard I cried for the bun I lost, I kept reminding myself that the baby needed me and he should get the attention he deserved, so my obligation towards him and also the amusing moments he gave me made my grieving process a bit less painful and filled my heart with love again.

Marietta

A couple of years ago, my daughter lost her bunny Cola. My daughter has a big heart and is very compassionate. I asked her if she wanted to get another bun and she wanted on right away. For her I think it helped with the grieving process for her.

Recently, Mr. Smores died and I took his cage down, washed his bowls and I didn't really think about getting another bun, I mean I still had 14. After a couple of weeks, my daughter asked about getting another bunny. I wasn't really sure if I wanted to so soon after Mr. Smores death, but she has be wrapped around her finger so I said sure, next rabbit club meeting.

She found Pudge, a broken mini lop. I am not sure who found who, but he has been a great bunny for her and he will sit in her lap, soaking up the attention, while she is on the computer.

I agree with the others, you will know when its time to get another bun. For me I felt comfortable after a couple of weeks, granted, I was an emotional train wreck when Mr. Smores died, but I remember what a wonderful bun he was. I also didn't want to get another Dutch because I thought I might compare he/she to Smores.

The one thing about bunnies they are a great comfort, provide a lot of love and the rest of the herd helped me to move on.

I think that is why Sam was so hard. It was so sudden. Seizures are so horrible to watch. I caught the end of it and omg to much.

Though started to think about something. When I lost MY first dog not a family dog my dog it took me from Nov 15th 2000 till July 05 to feel like I was ready for another dog. Even than I am not as bonded to my current dog.