I've had my bunny for 3 years and he's still uncomfortable with me but I don't understand why?

Hello!
So my story is, I've had my bunny for almost 4 years now, he's a lil lovely grumpy dwarf and he's name is Crispy.

But after all those years, he still doesn't let me touch him (sometimes he does but very very very rarely!!!! Even id be shocked when he lets me touch him).
I don't have any other pets, no kids no nothing to bother him or make him scared, it's just me and him at home.
He lives free, he runs around my studio, sleep on his favorite carpet, he's a spoiled lil bun! And i have a special space for him in the balcony for his nice fresh sun baths which he loves! I try my best to stay out of his way when i see that he is upset and doesn't want to be touched which is almost all the time. So it makes me think maybe he hates me and it worries me

HOWEVER he does jump on me and my bed especially at night, climb on me and sits next to me... But if i move or try to slowly get closer or just attempt to touch him he'd immediately run away from me. He is very smart he knows when to ask me for treats and when he wants to go out, he isn't afraid of approaching me when he wants any of the two. But if i try to get down and gently approach him he's like "No!" And runs away...
The grumpy bun in question

What a beautiful funny bunny! It sounds like he’s got quite the territory! It seems to me that the dwarf rabbits I’ve had have not enjoyed being pet. They are quite social with us but not for petting. I can trim nails for them but they have to be caught to do it and they always get a treat afterwards. That seems to help.

littlebluejay said:

What a beautiful funny bunny! It sounds like he’s got quite the territory! It seems to me that the dwarf rabbits I’ve had have not enjoyed being pet. They are quite social with us but not for petting. I can trim nails for them but they have to be caught to do it and they always get a treat afterwards. That seems to help.

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He loves his space! He doesn't enjoy pets either, as long as it's not due to him not liking me I'm all happy! i have to catch him too to trim his lil nails, he gets lot of treats as well and that's about it. he loves his treats so much he'd jump on me so fast and sudden that he gives me a jump scare when i try to give him some.

How often do you try and pick him up or handle him, now and in the past? Do you spend time just sitting on the floor with him, not trying to force any interaction(no attempts to pet, no trying to pick up), except when it's his choice? So he will come to you when it's time for 'treats'?

Of course there's no simple formula because every animal is different,with unique personality traits,likes and dislikes,but certainly sitting quietly and not making sudden moves or sounds,is always a good start.be aware that your body movements,even tiny ones,can spark a flight response with some rabbits.Equally some rabbits are almost 'bomb proof' and would sleep through an explosion! In terms of picking him up,if you don't already use this method,I would recommend it.Put your arm gently round him,with his head towards you,not facing away.Hold his bottom firmly but gently,and scoop him upto your chest,keeping your other hand on him to stop him jumping and hurting himself.A lot of rabbits,including mine,don't like to be grasped from behind,as it's a typical predator attack position,and of course if they're facing away from you,they can kick back with their powerful hind feet and spring away,sometimes with nasty consequences for them in terms of injuries,broken bones etc.just something you might try.Good luck and keep persevering.

JBun said:

How often do you try and pick him up or handle him, now and in the past? Do you spend time just sitting on the floor with him, not trying to force any interaction(no attempts to pet, no trying to pick up), except when it's his choice? So he will come to you when it's time for 'treat'?

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Because he hates being handled, i avoid picking him up, only time i had to catch him and pick him lot was because i had to give him his vet treatment. Besides that only when i trim his nails so like once every 1-2 months, other than that never because i understood he doesn't like it!
I do spend time with him, i wouldn't say often but every now and then i try to lay down next to him but he'd run away and never come back.
Yes when its time for food/treats he comes to me and stands by my feet! He's not scared to eat from my hand either and sometimes he let me touch him during it, he also comes to me when he wants to go out to his space in the balcony. I guess that's the only time i have a chance to give lil pets.

john.thorpe1952 said:

Of course there's no simple formula because every animal is different,with unique personality traits,likes and dislikes,but certainly sitting quietly and not making sudden moves or sounds,is always a good start.be aware that your body movements,even tiny ones,can spark a flight response with some rabbits.Equally some rabbits are almost 'bomb proof' and would sleep through an explosion! In terms of picking him up,if you don't already use this method,I would recommend it.Put your arm gently round him,with his head towards you,not facing away.Hold his bottom firmly but gently,and scoop him upto your chest,keeping your other hand on him to stop him jumping and hurting himself.A lot of rabbits,including mine,don't like to be grasped from behind,as it's a typical predator attack position,and of course if they're facing away from you,they can kick back with their powerful hind feet and spring away,sometimes with nasty consequences for them in terms of injuries,broken bones etc.just something you might try.Good luck and keep persevering.

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Thank you a lot for the picking up advice! I will certainly try it, i know he will not let me the lil furr ball, but i will do my best to take it slow and gently and hopes eventually i will succeed

It sounds like getting picked up isn't part of the problem then, since you don't do it except when absolutely necessary. I think it may just be a matter of spending time with your rabbit, but in a specific way so he can't just run away and avoid contact, but learns it's safe and a good thing to be near you. You're essentially doing a similar process as is used when bonding rabbits together.

https://rabbitsindoors.weebly.com/bonding-with-your-bunny.html
What I would suggest is sitting on the floor with him while you read, work on your tablet/laptop(with no cords he could chew), etc, and I would suggest doing this in a smaller area where he won't be able to go away or under things to hide. A small bathroom can work, or setting up an xpen. Or because he's used to and likes getting treats on your balcony, if it's safe out there for him, not too cold right now, and a small enough area, that could be a good space to do this. Something smaller than 6x8, 6x6, and blocking off potential hiding places is basically the kind of space that usually works best for doing this.

Then keep the interactions positive. If he'll come to you for food and treats, use that. Hand feed every little morsel if you can. It will help build up that positive reinforcement of associating you with good things. But also being the source of food helps establish you as the dominant 'rabbit' in the hierarchy. Make sure you're only rewarding positive behavior. Such as, not giving him a treat if he gets impatient and tries to nip or dig at you to get you to hurry up.

If he approaches when there are no treats left, don't try and pet, but very slowly offer your hand for him to smell, making sure your hand is always in his field of vision( to the sides, not directly in front or behind). When he is seeming more comfortable smelling your hand and seems more comfortable staying near you, you can attempt a little scratch on his forehead. As he is more comfortable with that and stays near you, you can gradually attempt a longer head rub. This will hopefully progress to him one day, actively seeking head rubs from you ❤

Adding onto Jbun once you manage to be able to touch his head, I recommend doing a forehead circle massage. I’ve never met a bun who doesn’t like that type of petting. It’s just doing gentle circle-like pets on the crown of the head (in front of the ears, above the eyes). A wax-on wax-off type of pet where you never actually lift your finger.