My fur baby Chocolate - so heart broken

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Ree

Member
Joined
Jan 19, 2020
Messages
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Location
Australia
Nearly 7.5 years ago we purchased 2 adorable bunnies .. a grey cross breed and the other a brown mini lop. We instantly fell inlove. Decided they had to be inside with us and made large homes outside for them during the day. They both have their own little personalities and characteristics. Two precious little fur babies. Over the years it became quite clear that Bubbles (grey fur baby) was an active digger and hay/grass muncher always looking for the next adventure. Whereas as Chocolate preferred to watch his brother dig holes and frolick when he felt like it. He wasn’t a big lover of hay/grass but still ate some. When inside he loved to find me for a snuggle even jumping onto the lounge and sat in my spot waiting for his cuddle time with me. Both of them lick /groom me often lol My boys play an active part too but think I’m the favorite with the fur babies lol
About a year ago age 6yrs our mini lop Chocolate developed a dental issue which resulted in surgery. With pain relief, antibiotics and syringe feeding he recovered well, in 2 weeks he began eating his greens again. He did not tolerate the antibiotics after 12days straight so we had to stop it. Still not a big lover of grass & hay.. I purchased all kinds of hay, Timothy, Oaten,orchard,Lucerne etc even some that had dandelion herbs mixed through it to entice him. He tried it but then turned his nose up at it..so I mixed it through his greens and also buried small pieces of fruit in it. Made a variety of hay/fruit mash even tried cookies. The tough love approach didn’t work either he would lose weight so I tried hand feeding him grass... these efforts worked to some extent as his teeth were great on his right side the vet said. As time progressed I noticed he was eating some grass but after a vet visit again he was soon schedule for more surgery at age 7.1 yrs this time he had 6 teeth extractions wow! He had critical care, pain relief and antibiotics again. Diarrhea developed on day 13 so we stopped the antibiotics. I continued with 3 critical care feeds a day then soon enough he began to eat his greens & beg for some treats. Still not eating enough hay though.. I noticed his tummy grumbling loudly the vet said to continue 2 cc feeds a day and add a Protexin probiotic which Australia does not stock but found in the UK, so ordered a few. Meanwhile using an Aussie brand. These did help with Fibre in his diet, I just wanted to get my fur baby better. At about a month post op the loud gurgles seemed to be returning the vet advised to give him pain relief and continue cc feeds so I did. After research I found Simethicone which helps with gas in babies. After giving him 0.1mls per hour for 3hrs then 0.1mls 3-8hrs after I noticed big improvements. The gurgles stopped. So I only used Simethicone when needed. On 31Dec19 his droppings developed to pellets was so happy my persistence was paying off and my little Chocolate was on the mend hooray. vet was happy he was improving but still wanted me to give him 2 cc feeds a day to keep weight on him till he could do it himself. 2Jan20 both fur babies were vaccinated and doing well. Then about 9 Jan20 I noticed Chocolate wasn’t eating all his greens, not unusual though as he was full of cc, 30mls each feed. Bubbles also left some greens. Both were acting as usual. The next day I noticed chocolates poo pellets were less so I gave him pain relief and he began to eat his greens. Morning of 11Jan20 nothing unusual he grazed outside my son checked him and noticed him laying on the grass in a spot he hadn’t lied on before but it was cool. I later checked on him and it seemed he was in the same spot. I decided to bring them both inside as I couldn’t tell if Choccy was moving around. offered him greens not hungry and at 10pm I fed 30mls cc, usually by morning nearly all greens are gone and lots of pellets in litter. He had long cuddles with me that evening stretching out on me. On the morning 12 Jan 20 he did not touch his greens and no poo pellets over night. I fed him cc as he had not eaten and raced him to the vets. They gave him pain relief and fluids and advised to let him rest as he will be groggy and no cc feeds. I told them he felt bloated and to give him gas motility drugs too. They recommended he stay in for Iv fluids but no nurse there over night so I took him home to watch him. After arriving home i tried to carry him him to his hutch he felt like he wanted to stretch out so I put him down and he jumped into his hutch where he lied down. I patted him and let him rest for a while. My son was watching him and then about 40mins later i hear mum quick there’s something wrong with Chocolate!!! I raced over to them and noticed he was limp with his eyes open..wanting to believe he was asleep I felt him and checked for a heart beat but there wasn’t one. We raced him to the vets but I knew he was gone..I’m so lost and heart broken, keep blaming myself why didn’t I take him earlier to the vets? What did I miss? If only etc...the voices in my head are saying it’s my fault !! I shouldn’t have fed him cc that morning or why didn’t I give him pain relief the night before when he had cuddles with me? He was grinding his teeth too which is a sign of pain however he use to do this as a baby too.. it’s also a sign of love, purring like a cat! I feel so stupid I should have known he needed meds and more fluid .. The vet said they were not sure what the cause was but he was unwell with dental disease and hadn’t fully recovered from his op post 2.5mths. They presume he had a blockage and gas motility drugs would have killed him. They also says he could have had a cancer or a heart attack as he was an older rabbit at 7.4 years. The assumptions just don’t sit well with me and I blame myself for my fur babies passing ... don’t think il ever recover from this... just know I would have done anything for my best furry friend. Who was loved by all who knew him. we still have Bubbles who is a healthy darling so need to love him more. He too is sad not knowing what’s happened to his best mate. My loving, adorable, cuddly teddy bear who knew he had mummy wrapped around his finger. Don’t think il ever get over this. Hug and love your fur babies as much as you can cause that’s all they want..RIP Choccy il love & miss you forever ❤️
 
It's not your fault at all. All pets have to go somehow, and it still hurts. But I want to try to reassure you of something. Chocolate knew he was going, so he made sure you weren't with him when it happened. That's how much he loved you. Enough to make his last breaths about you. I'm so sorry for your loss, ad his memory will hop on forever. We all would have felt the same, the loss of a fur baby hurts.
 
It's not your fault at all. All pets have to go somehow, and it still hurts. But I want to try to reassure you of something. Chocolate knew he was going, so he made sure you weren't with him when it happened. That's how much he loved you. Enough to make his last breaths about you. I'm so sorry for your loss, ad his memory will hop on forever. We all would have felt the same, the loss of a fur baby hurts.
Thank you Stella, I just feel I failed him, I miss him so much x
 
Struggling with bad thoughts over guilt that I failed my bun. I should have gave him more gas drops, more pain relief or got him to the vets earlier .. there’s not a dam thing I can do about it now but I can’t stop blaming myself. Feeling so low I cry a lot & can’t eat...geez I miss him. Hope time is forgiving cause I will never forgive myself .
 

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