Cali is single and ready to mingle

Let's start with a bit of background. About 6 weeks ago Cali lost her friend Steve suddenly. We waited til she seemed ok and went to the humane society to find a mate. We adopted a young doe that seemed promising but unfortunately the two of them fought and fought whenever we took them on a date. Because I also have a six month old (human) baby at home I didn't feel I had the time to devote to such a challenging bonding situation so we sadly had to take her back to the shelter. We took some time to regroup and yesterday we went looking for a potential love interest for Cali. They were having an event at the humane society where rabbit adoption was free this weekend, but they sent their adoptable rabbits all over the city to different pet stores. So we went to about 4 different places to see these guys.
1. An adorable one year old lop bunny at the humane society. Neutered on Friday so very fresh post op. My husband vetoed him because he is a sprayer. Like a crazy all over sprayer
2. A juvenile male rabbit, black with some silver, at pet smart. Neutered on the 14th. Nice but also too fresh post op. Mounted Cali incessantly. The poor clueless kid working there tried to tell me the rabbit is "old" because of his colouring.
3. A lion head mix named Cheese. Bit me 3 times during the meet and greet. I was just sitting there. Seemed like a bit of a jerk with a dominant personality. Cali wouldn't like his attitude. Cute though.
4. The fourth place was a different pet smart. I went ahead to check it out. The employee asked me if my rabbit had all her vaccines. Sigh. Rabbits here don't get vaccines. They also were not willing to accommodate with an area for the meet and greet. So I didn't bother taking Cali there.

Needless to say it's challenging trying to find her a mate. I'm looking at other rescues that use foster homes because these people might have a better setup for introductions.

I do have one question though: how do we know Cali likes a rabbit if all she does when we take her anywhere is sit there like a lump and just check out of the situation? She shows little interest in her surroundings or the other bunny and just sits there waiting til we leave. Then at home she is her usual self. What do you guys think? I don't want to have to return the next bunny too.

You can't know beforehand. And most of the rescues in France refuse people coming with their rabbits because in a strange environment, your rabbit won't react at all the way she would on her turf. So it's completely useless. The only thing you are accomplishing is stressing out Cali and risking her getting sick or injured.
Last time, it failed because you took a doe. As it was said many many times on this forum and in every article about the subject, it's really risky to pair up two rabbits of the same sex. Especially two adults. It can work, but it's not something that I would attempt especially if you don't have a lot of time on your hand to make it work.
Your odds are a lot better with a neutered male.

About your first candidate. A neutered rabbit probably won't spray anymore - most intact males do, especially if they are close to other rabbits, it's a completely normal behavior. Tybalt sprayed urine like crazy as a teenager and it stopped the day he was neutered. That was 3 years ago and he never did it again since. So I would inquire again to check if the behavior stopped (I bet it did). It might be worth it to wait a few weeks for him. I mean, what's a few more weeks in the grand scheme of things? ^^

I wouldn't take a rabbit from a place where people are stupid enough to put a male who was neutered recently with a female - the hormones take 4 to 6 weeks to die out. Your rabbit could have been injured or injure the other party. If your rabbit wasn't spayed, she could have become pregnant. So those people don't know what they are doing.

Did you goes through a bonding process with Cali and Steve or did you get them already bonded together?

I had Steve already, and adopted Cali from the humane society. That was a pretty easy one, it took only 2 weeks and they were living together. Oh how we miss Steve.
All the bunnies we are looking at have been neutered and are rescues, they were only at these pet stores because of the event. And yes I know now that I can't choose another female. But everything I've read out there says to bring Cali to choose her mate. Not to just bring some random guy home to her. Even though it stresses her out isn't it better in the long run?

Random guy hahaha sorry this made me laugh.
I think the point is that it's hard to really tell a match from just a few bunny dates. You probably have the same likelihood of bonding if you bring home a random guy and bunny dating. Bonding is a process and it takes time.
Also, the likelihood of bonding opposite sex rabbits is higher than the same sex.

stevesmum said:

Not to just bring some random guy home to her. Even though it stresses her out isn't it better in the long run?

Click to expand...

No, because considering your rabbit is stressing about her environment, she barely notices there is another rabbit in the room (except if he attacks her, of course). What you said in your first post proves it. Those 'dates' actually provide no reliable information about the compatibility of the bunnies considering that they are not in the situation they will be once in your home. I don't even think your rabbit would make the connection between the rabbit she saw in the store and the one you will put on her territory once you put them in contact at home.
If the presentation was made in your home, it would be a lot more useful but it's not. Two rabbits can look like they get along just fine in the rescue and actually hate each other once they are relaxed in their forever home, because at this point they only have each other to concentrate on as they are not on alert for a predator.
It's not just me saying that either. It's true that a few years back a lot of people were saying you needed to let the animals chose, but it didn't really held up faced with experience and it's not that much of a popular theory today.

If you really feel like you have to let her 'chose', you can do it. But I really don't think she gets that the bunny you randomly show her in a strange location is going to be her new roommate anyway, so she's not in capacity to make an informed decision ^^. And keep in mind that stressing the rabbit can cause problems, like GI stasis, so be careful. Taking your rabbit out and putting her in contact with other rabbits can also end up with her picking up an illness or something (especially in a petshop, even if the bunny you're seeing doesn't come from it - things like mange or sniffles run rampant in those places and they are VERY contagious). I personally quarantine every new animal that comes home with me before putting them into contact with others to avoid problems (except, of course, if the quarantine was done in a foster family or something).

Honestly, I bonded male / female couples several times and I never had any problem. The only important thing is to make sure that the rescue will take the rabbit back if it doesn't work out. It's never pleasant to give an animal back, but it's good to have a way out if the rabbits decide they'd rather gut each other than cuddle. With a neutered male / female couple, uncompatibility happens, but it's not that frequent. It will probably go well - have faith in Cali ^^.

Thanks for your advice, I largely agree with you. Some organizations won't let you adopt unless the whole family is present for the meet and greet , but ...
Tomorrow Cali has a date, here at our house, to meet a one year old neutered lop named boss. He is living with a foster family through a rescue organization called Infinite Woofs. Hopefully letting Cali meet him at home but in neutral territory will let her have a more natural reaction! I'm looking forward to it and hope it goes well.

How did Cali's date with Boss go? Really hoping it was promising and you're able to attempt to bond them

Well, Cali is being very challenging, as it turns out. A girl from the rescue society brought Boss over last Thursday. I set up an x pen separated in the middle, in a neutral space, and we put one rabbit on each side. There was some lunging, I think by both, but as we sat and talked they calmed down. Cali ignored Boss and turned her back (rude, passive aggressive body language) and Boss felt comfortable enough to groom himself a bit. The girl said we could do a trial period and see how things go, and that she would come pick him up if it didn't look like a promising match. She said go slow and don't rush them. I have a side by side setup for them, where they can live next to each other and get used to each other. I have not introduced them again until tonight. It didn't go very well. Boss tried to mount Cali a few times, she let him and I stopped it after a few seconds. But then she made some weird growl/whine sounds at him and lunges and attempts to bite. There was some circling and rudeness in general. He kept trying to lie down next to her but also to stick his head under her and she of course would not have it. She kept coming to me and my husband asking to please be taken away. Incidentally this date happened in our office on a little rug. I won't be doing it there again. It was not a good setup for it. Cali hates hard floor but Boss doesn't seem to mind it so he can escape. Finally they both sat and let me pet them and I decided to end the date there. No self grooming or anything like that happened. Tomorrow I think I will have to start with a stress situation then put them in a neutral space. One of the problems is that Boss is afraid of people. He won't let us touch him. So it's hard enough to even wrangle him to take him on a date. Also, I wanted to do it in the bathroom again, but I put Cali there with the last rabbit I tried to bond her with, which didn't work out. If I change the bath mat can I use this space again? Or is it no longer neutral? My assessment of the situation is that Cali is the problem. Thoughts? Advice?

Go with the bathroom after vaccuuming. Or at least a small space with no place where one of the rabbits could be cornered. Some people do it in the bath tub because it unsettles the bunnies. You don't mentioned any, but was there food for the rabbits when you introduced them? It's important for them to have something they like to focus on (beside each other) during the date. It's a nice activity that they can do side by side without having to interact with each other. Lots of carrots, parsnip and other things your rabbit likes and which take time to eat (the smell of vegetables will also help : a rabbit eating celery mainly smells of celery ^^). Take a spray bottle filled with water, it's better to spray some on the rabbits to separate them than to try with your bare hands if something goes awry. But honestly, nothing you said sounds alarming to me. It was a very normal meeting between rabbits trying to determine a hierarchy. You have to let them fight and mount a bit too, as long as no blood is drawn. It will pass as soon as one of them figures out they don't want to be the boss enough to constantly fight.
I wouldn't stress them out for no reason that early in the game. Try to relax and to persuade yourself that it will go well (it's really hard not to be tense when you're in a new bonding process, I know, but it doesn't help). You have to trust the rabbits to settle things between themselves while controling the environment enough and offering enough distractions to avoid the worst outcome and stop things before they hurt each other. A bit of fur flying is terrifying for the owner, but really not that big of a deal from a rabbit's standpoint. I hope it goes well! Keep us posted on their progresses ^^.