Rabbits Online > Pet Rabbit Discussion > General Rabbit Discussion > How soon is too soon?

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Old 05-25-2017, 06:13 PM   #1
Barush
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Hi,

Thanks for stopping by on this thread. This February, I lost my precious bunny (9 y.o.) to cancer. It was terrible blow as I was so attached to her, well, as probably every bunny lover is to their beloved pet.
For few months after she died I've been just feeling so miserable and was almost unable to do anything. Now, with months slowly passing, I've again a bit started to think about buying another bunny because really, the home just feels so empty and lonely without her. However, I'm still a bit unsure, is it too soon? I'm indeed still grieving but at the same time I think I could again open my hearth to another bunny and I'm thinking that maybe also then the 'solitude' wouldn't feel that horrible. Also, as I'm currently unemployed I was thinking that it would be also quite good as now I would have lots of time for the rabbit, but well, still I'm not really sure.

What are your own experiences or opinions about this? Did you go through something similar? Do you think it helped you (and your grieving process) to get another rabbit and open your hearth again quite soon after your rabbit died or would you say it's better to wait e.g. a year or more?

Thanks for any comments and opinions!



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Old 05-25-2017, 07:55 PM   #2
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I think that's a very personal decision. Some people wait a long time, some don't. Some people want the 'same' animal exactly (same breed, color, sex...) while other people can't stand the idea of having a carbon copy of the animal they lost. If you feel like your house is empty, it's probably time. I don't know but I think if I had waited until didn't feel sad anymore to take another rabbit after Pandora died it would have taken a really long time (honestly, I think it took me about two years to be able to think about his death without feeling horrible and one after that to be able to listen to the last song I listened with him while he was dying in its entirety). Once again, it's a very personal matter, but for me it really helps to invest myself into another animal. Of course, the new animal doesn't replace the one you lost and you are still sad, but I prefer to look at the death of a companion as the opportunity to live a new relationship with a new animal rather than the end of something. I took another rabbit pretty soon (2 months) after Pandora died, but I didn't really have a choice - I had a second bunny (still do, as a matter of fact ^^) and she took Pandora's death really hard. She really couldn't live alone and it was awful to watch her being so sad and stressed. Still, we've now been living together for 3 years and a half and I don't regret it. It helped me cope, especially since the new bunny was a horrible teenager - weirdly enough, the fact that he got on my and my other bunnie's last nerve for weeks really helped us focus on something else. I did a lot of damage control until I could get him neutered and it kept me occupied... ^^


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Old 05-25-2017, 08:03 PM   #3
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Go for it! I think adopting a bunny in need of a good home from the local shelter is a beautiful way to honour your friend who passed on. I think you sound ready.
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Old 05-25-2017, 08:07 PM   #4
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Like Aki says, it depends on you. I always get a new pet soon after one passes; I have this obsession with taking in animals off of euthanasia lists- and those are always full. Also like Aki already said, a new pet will NEVER replace the one you lost, but I do believe that every time we take an animal into our lives, it makes our hearts bigger (they just leave a little hole when they go).

Losing any pet is the hardest thing I have ever personally had to endure (not that my life has been horrible, but losing a pet for me has been so much harder than my surviving rape, homelessness, and parental abuse) but opening up my heart to a new pet has always helped me at least distract myself and they always seem to be pretty good at helping me heal too.

If you want to talk about anything, please feel free to let us know!
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Old 05-27-2017, 05:51 PM   #5
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Thanks to all for such an encouraging words! It definitely made me more sure about the whole thing. It's great to hear how you guys coped and what helped you
personally. Btw. sorry for not answering earlier but I've had terrible allergic reaction. ;D

Yeah, I totally agree - I feel that it will of course take a long time before it all feels a bit better and of course in a way, it's always gonna feel really sad. And of
course, the new rabbit will be definitely never a replacement for the old one, that would be kinda unfair to the new one to expect that.
Oh, I totally get it how horrible it needed to be for the rabbit as well so I'm glad that the new one helped you both to cope with all of that better.
Haha, it's kinda true that some unexpected distraction like that can actually help you to take your mind off things for a while.
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Old 05-27-2017, 06:06 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RavenousDragon View Post
Like Aki says, it depends on you. I always get a new pet soon after one passes; I have this obsession with taking in animals off of euthanasia lists- and those are always full. Also like Aki already said, a new pet will NEVER replace the one you lost, but I do believe that every time we take an animal into our lives, it makes our hearts bigger (they just leave a little hole when they go).

Losing any pet is the hardest thing I have ever personally had to endure (not that my life has been horrible, but losing a pet for me has been so much harder than my surviving rape, homelessness, and parental abuse) but opening up my heart to a new pet has always helped me at least distract myself and they always seem to be pretty good at helping me heal too.

If you want to talk about anything, please feel free to let us know!

Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that, but I absolutely get you my parents were also abusive and I went through some pretty messed up stuff and she was actually
with me through a big part of it. That's why it was probably such a big blow - I felt exactly same, like it was the hardest thing that had happened to me.
It's great though to hear that maybe trying to open up the heart to new pet could be the way that could help me to deal with all better, because honestly
I was of course a bit unsure if I could go through all of this pain again. But in a way, deep down I felt that living without pet just because of the fear of that
happening again would be also sad.

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Old 06-19-2017, 06:28 AM   #7
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I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I lost my heart bunny, named TinkleBunny, 5 years ago and I was DEVASTATED. She was a present from my husband who passed away suddenly the year before and having her helped me so much. When I lost her it was like the end of an era. I stayed at someone else's house for a few days (I came home with her ashes). When I walked in the room I immediately looked over at her cage. I was so upset I took everything out and got rid of the cage, I just couldn't look at an empty cage where my girl should be. But it didn't help, I would now just look at an empty spot. 2 weeks after she passed away I told my new boyfriend that I wanted to get another bunny, not to replace TinkleBunny, but for someone to come home to and take care of. He found an ad on Craigslist and I ended up rescuing a 12 week old rabbit who had escaped the fate of her littermates who were used to bait dogs for fighting. When I got her I took one look at the yard with the gang members and the scarred and chained pitbulls and said I am taking this rabbit no matter what. She was the only rabbit on the property other than her father who's eyes said he had seen things.

I named her, a castor red mini rex, Chainsaw. There is a funny story to the name. So when my TinkleBunny got sick my BF was kind enough to take me to the vet and he sat with her in the waiting room while I smoked outside to calm down. Well they don't call your name at the vet's they call the pet's name. So my 6'4" 375lb Corrections Officer had to answer to the name "TinkleBunny." When he helped me find my next rabbit I promised I would give it a name that he'd be proud to answer to at the vet's office. So I now have a rabbit named Chainsaw. I have had her for 5 years now, and I think that TinkleBunny left so that I could save this rabbit. I think about her every time I talk to my rabbits, understand their body language and noises, and when I know all the good spots to rub. I say when I trip over nothing that it's TinkleBunny circling my feet.

Sorry for the long reply, but this is a topic that really hit home for me. Grief is personal, and no 2 people do it the same. There is no wrong way or right way to grieve. As long as you are not harming yourself or others, then do what you need to do. There is no set time for having another rabbit, it is when your heart is ready to pass that love forward and continue the legacy of love you've shared with pets that have crossed the rainbow bridge. I took bereavement time (3 days) off of work when I lost TinkleBunny. And 13 days later I was bringing home Chainsaw. It doesn't mean I didn't love TinkleBunny, hell I still cry about her and she's been gone 5 years. I miss her every day, but I also know that we shared an awesome 6 years and I have no regrets about falling in love with her, and the species. Some folks never meet their soulmate, and I got to live with, share kisses, and spend 6 amazing years with mine. How lucky I am to have gotten to meet her at all.
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Old 06-19-2017, 10:39 PM   #8
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I've only had my pair of buns for a year, so I can't comment on loss.

But... rabbits are a very poorly-treated and often-abandoned animal. If you have the time and financial capacity to care for a rabbit, I would personally highly recommend saving another rabbit from a miserable existance in a small cage somewhere.

Even if you're still grieving, you can take solace that you're providing a good life for a rabbit that would otherwise be very unhappy... or worse, in line for being "destroyed" because nobody else wanted to provide a home for it.

Not to anthropomorphize your girl, but think of it this way: what would she want you to do? Would she want you to help another of her kind in need? Would she want you to keep her alive in your memory, but continue to share that love with another rabbit?


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