How to help rabbit cope with loss of companion

Hello all!

I have created an account specifically for the purpose of seeking help and opinions on this matter. I adopted a male dwarf lop, Rudy, about a month ago to accompany my male Polish rabbit, Rocky, since he started seeming a little lonely. It was a bond that took practically zero effort to form--they loved each other from the get-go.

Rudy had some discharge from his left eye from when I first took him home but was looked over by the vet who neutered him as nothing significant. And while it never went away, it had significantly gotten better after I took him home so I worried less about it. Unfortunately, it did not get better and had somehow manifested itself into a case of the snuffles. Due to unexpected financial hardships between the adoption and now, I didn't have the funds to even have him checked out nor could I afford the medication. I didn't want Rocky to catch the disease either, so I felt that it might have been best to surrender him back to the shelter in hopes that he would be better taken care of. I surrendered Rudy last Saturday.

It broke my heart a little mainly because I'm uncertain of what may happen to Rudy, but now I feel even worse considering that Rocky has no clue what happened to his friend. It has been two days since Rocky has been alone and I'm not sure yet if he is being affected deeply by Rudy's lack of presence. I read that rabbits who do not know what happened to their mates may wait and wait and as a result become depressed and perhaps even die of stress.

I'm already sad as it is that I could not take care of Rudy and now I'm especially sad and worried for Rocky. He is completely healthy and I only want the best for him. I was hoping someone could provide me some tips and pointers on how to help Rocky cope with Rudy's loss should he express signs of distress and grief. So far he is behaving normally but has been seeming a little confused as he often remains sitting up in his pen and looking around.

Any help and advice is greatly appreciated!

The reaction to the disappearance of their friends is completely different from one rabbit to another (and depends on the bond they had with their mate). I think rabbits that die of it are pretty rare, though. I've only known two rabbits who took it very very hard and they both survived it. Honestly, if it was the case of your rabbit, you would know : one of the two I know was hiding from the second his human parents came home without the other rabbit (he had died at the vet) and screamed everytime someone tried to touch him. It lasted for a month. The second one (my rabbit, Aki) developped something akin to PTSD (not sleeping, overexcited, moving non stop, followed me like my shadow, wouldn't go to the last place the other rabbit had been, in hysterics when someone other than me tried to touch her...) which lasted until the day I brought another rabbit home (she hated him with a passion for about 4 months, but at least it gave her something else to focus on and now, one year later, they are pretty good friends ^^).

In both case, the rabbits had been living together for years, though. In one month, maybe your rabbit hasn't got quite that attached.

I've also known rabbits who didn't really care about the disappearance of their mate. Even one who seemed really glad about it and binkied non stop for days (until the 2 other rabbits came home... they were only at the vet - seeing them, the rabbit thumped and threw a tantrum - she's the only rabbit I've met that HATED rabbits).

I don't know if you can do much to help him cope. What I did when I went threw that was keeping a close eye on my remaining rabbit to check she was eating/pooping/drinking alright. I bought her very good hay and her favorite vegetables (parsnip and carrots) to make sure she was eating. I also spent a lot of time with her and let her cope her way (during 2 long weeks, she took to jump on my knees, jump on the floor as soon as I was touching her, jumping on my knees again... I work at home and she could do that 50 times in a row). Of course, I worried like crazy, took her to the vet because I thought she was shaking her head too much and pooping not enough (he seemed embarrassed to take my money for nothing at all and must have thought I was crazy), and probably made it worse by being as distraught as she was by the whole thing even if I tried not to show it (but they always know, don't they?).
I cried a lot and thought she was going to die from the stress of it all. But in the end, she calmed down. I don't know if she would have recovered as well without Tybalt (husbunny n°2) but I think we would have gone through it. More slowly, perhaps.

Anyway, if Rudy had the snuffles you wouldn't have been able to keep him with Rocky anyway, so don't feel too bad about it. We all do what we can.
And snuffles suck.

Could you call up the shelter and explain that the only reason you had to give Rudy up was because you couldn't afford to treat his snuffles, and that if the shelter would so kindly treat him, you would be happy to adopt Rudy again? This is assuming you surrendered him to a no-kill shelter, though...I'm fairly certain that with major shelters such as the SPCA, a snuffles bunny would be euthanised rather than treated.

If there's absolutely no way you can get Rudy back post-snuffles, maybe you can look into adopting another friend for Rocky. He seems to love company. If Rudy was only with him a short time, he'll be able to get past his loss easily with the help of another bunny companion. In the meantime, give Rocky lots of extra attention, love and toys to keep his mind off it.

@whiskylollipop:

I surrendered Rudy to the local shelter under Los Angeles Animal Services; upon completing the surrender form, I had to acknowledge that Rudy may possibly be euthanized. The person who went through the surrender process with me was particularly rude at first; he immediately assumed after I explained that I could not afford vet services for Rudy that I was only dumping him on the shelter to provide myself with extra holiday money (I hadn't even realized "holiday dumping" was an issue until after this rude encounter). I was already upset that I felt I had to surrender Rudy and this person just made me feel worse--my boyfriend had to [POLITELY] set him straight and explain to him how harmful it is to make assumptions on people who only want best for their pets but unfortunately could no longer provide that, but I digress.

Anyway, that encounter led me to assume that they would not be so kind to suggestions of providing complimentary veterinary treatment of any sort. :\ If he is put out for adoption and he turned out to actually be snuffles-free, I may consider re-adopting him. My boyfriend offered to adopt him under his name instead should I choose to re-adopt him because he doesn't want me to be mistaken for trying to take advantage of their veterinary services. I am really hoping that the shelter either provides him treatment and puts him out for adoption again rather than euthanize him or that I was completely wrong about the snuffles and that Rudy can easily be treated for whatever infections he may have had.

However, if Rudy certainly had the snuffles and was only temporarily treated, I would not be able to constantly have him treated and would not want to put Rocky at risk. In which case, I feel the best option may be to find a new and healthy companion for Rocky. I'm really hoping for the best for Rudy.

So far, Rocky has not been behaving strangely. I've spent some extra time with him and he seems to be licking me more often (although he had gotten to licking me only recently). I haven't really interpreted that as a bad sign, but I have certainly been giving him extra love and hopefully I can get him another friend soon.


Thanks for the advice!

@Aki:

Reading your reply had brought me a lot of reassurance, so first off, thank you! And snuffles definitely do suck.

You have a point about the length of time he had spent with Rudy. I'm starting to feel that all this worry is mainly stemming from me feeling sorry for Rocky in this situation; I'd be devastated to suddenly lose someone without warning, but perhaps it wouldn't be so bad for me if I had only known this person for such a short amount of time.

So far, Rocky has not been behaving too strangely. I've been spending a little more time with him and he seems to be licking me more often than usual (although he had gotten to licking me only recently); I haven't really taken this as a bad sign. So far his diet remains the same. I am definitely keeping a closer eye on him just in case, but I've always seen a strong character and can-do attitude in Rocky ever since I first took him home, so in the end he will probably be fine, especially after reading about the amount of stress your poor Aki went through. I'm glad to hear she was able to find a new friend. I'm just hoping that Rocky gets along with his next rabbit friend almost as well as he got along with Rudy.


Thanks again!

Yes, the problem is sometimes that when we are looking at one of our pet closely, dreading to find a problem, we usually end up noticing things and wondering if they are normal (something like 'was he doing this before? He wasn't, was he?" XD). Rocky might be licking you more just because you are paying more attention to him and spending more time with him and I also think that it's probably a good thing ^^.

Yes, Aki really took it hard and I was desperate when I realized she didn't like Tybalt half as much as she did her first husbunny. They had lots of scuffles but I decided to try it anyway and they learnt to tolerate each other. Just the other day, I saw them cuddling on their cushion and I felt like they had FINALLY bonded. Aki is back to her normal self again even if she is now scared to death of the vet whereas she was pretty calm there before.

I hope a nice person gives a home to your Rudy. But I'm sure you will be able to bond Rocky again even if it's with another rabbit. In that case, maybe, chose a female as a male/female couple is generally easier to bond (with male/male, you are lucky your rabbits got along so well as it's always a risky bonding).

@Aki

I never doubted that as a plausible theory since I know myself to be a worrier. It's been basically a week since Rudy had been gone and Rocky is behaving normally; if anything, he seems bored, but this was how he used to be prior to Rudy’s arrival. So you’re most likely right, I’m the one looking for problems to worry about haha
I hope Rudy finds a nice and loving home as well. I may go back to the shelter this weekend and see if he is put out for adoption. I’m looking forward to seeing Rocky cuddle with another rabbit again. And this time I’m making sure it’s female! That was my original intent but when I found Rudy I couldn’t see myself not taking him home lol But you’re totally right, I was pretty lucky to have taken home a male rabbit who got along so well with Rocky, I’m not gonna lie haha