HELP! rabbit thrown into my life, zero experience

Hello all. Very long, potentially boring. I apologize in advance.

Our household very recently became home to two bunnies. Now, I have zero experience with rabbits. We had one when I was very young, and he was allowed to roam free in our basement. One of my earliest memories is of my mother giving me a piece of lettuce to take down to "Oreo." I looked and looked and finally found him not moving in between two boxes. I was young enough to not realize he was dead, and placed the lettuce on top of him. When my mother told me he was gone, it was fairly traumatizing. That is seriously my only rabbit experience.

Our daughter just turned 9 and was begging for a bunny. I told my husband it was not a good idea, but he came home with two rabbits and two cages anyway. (One cage and rabbit has gone into our 5 year old son's room.) I swore to my husband that I would not clean up after these rabbits, nor buy them anything. (I'm already responsible for two German Shepherds, a cat, a hamster and 13 chickens.) Of course, that didn't last long.

He had them set up in a cage with pine shavings all on the bottom and called it a day. It stunk almost immediately, so after a little research I found they could be litter trained. My husband laughed at me, told me I'd be wasting my money, but within a week both rabbits were using their box inside their cage. That made cleanup easier for my daughter, as I insisted she be the one to clean up after both of them. For the time being, we have paper bedding, (got rid of those pine shavings. Yuck!) but I think we may switch to pellets the next time I need to purchase more. (What kind is best??)

I suppose I should mention the people my husband got them from weren't the best bunny parents. More like a bunny breeding mill. We were told they were both a couple months old, although one is quite a bit bigger than the other. They had spent their entire lives in a cage with a wire bottom, with not much human contact other than feed and water. My husband was told they didn't need hay, just pellets. Luckily I read up on rabbits the moment they came through the door to discover that wasn't true. They now have unlimited timothy hay at their disposal, pellets at a minimum.

Bun-bun, my daughter's rabbit, seems to be adjusting well. (We were told they were both bucks but I don't know for sure) Bun-bun celebration dance around my daughter's bedroom was nothing short of heartwarming. He was finally free. He allows my daughter to pet him while in his cage, but doesn't like being messed with out of his cage. The only issue I have with him is reminding my daughter to let him out and bond with him more.

The other smaller rabbit, originally named Chuck, is a different story. He charges anything that comes near him or his cage. I've read they are very territorial, and boy is he ever. This is the bunny in my son's room. My son has been instructed to LEAVE THE RABBIT ALONE and thankfully, he was raised to respect animals and also listen to his parents. He doesn't bother the bunny, although he would very much like to be "friends" with him.

Chuck turned into my project. I couldn't let him just live in his cage, especially being somewhat aggressive and charging when he would be fed or litter box changed. I excused my daughter from any Chuck responsibility while I worked with him.

Now, the internet has been my friend. I've learned to call the rabbit one name, and one name only so that they don't get confused. I had been calling him "bub" so Chuck is out and Bub is in. I got Bub to allow me to gently stroke him while in his cage, although it was very clear he hated it in the beginning. I just kept saying "It's OK" very softly, over and over. Eventually, a bit of trust was built and his look of absolute hate turn into slight dislike.

While my kids are at school and my husband at work, I open Bub's cage door and allow him to run and dance. I would just lay on the floor minding my own business playing a game on my iphone and let him do his thing, unless he chewed on baseboards or carpeting. (I would tell him NO in a firm voice, which at first he didn't care about until I approached him. Then he'd hop away.) He avoided me completely in the beginning, and I had to trick him back into his cage when play time was over.

Fast forward a couple weeks later. I still try to stroke him while in his cage. He holds still much better, tolerates it better, but it's obvious he's not crazy about human touch. He still tries to charge me when I feed him or clean his box, but backs off after a firm NO. We now have a routine when I open his cage door. He started to refuse to come out, so instead of laying on the other side of the room minding my own business, I'd sit next to the cage talking to him about laundry, dinner, whatever. He eventually would hop over to the side of the cage I was on, and sniff. I'd hold my hand up to the cage, and say "It's OK Bub." It shocked me the first few times when after a good sniff he'd turn, and hop right out of the cage. We do this every day now. He feels safe with me. I have gained trust, at least a little.

I'll go back to "my" side of the room and mind my own again. He would come up and sniff and hop away. For a while I held still. Eventually, I would stretch out my arm and encourage him to come sniff me. He would, but then hop away. He is still very defiant when it comes to baseboard/carpet chewing and my NO. It takes me moving in his direction to get him to stop. I swear, that rabbit gives me an evil glare when I do.

One day last week was a big step for us. I was minding my own when he came over for a sniff. The sniff turned into a lick. Three times. I got affection from him!!!!! I was ecstatic, but didn't show it. I still wouldn't reach for him or anything, I just let him do his thing.

Now, for the past couple of days. He still charges me in his cage, but backs off with a NO. I have started trying to "play" with him while he's out, and I think I succeeded today. He'd run in a circle, stop and look at me. I'd drum my fingers. He'd circle again, stop. Repeat. I don't know if I was scaring him or playing with him, but it was fun to watch. I also got TWO separate licking sessions today, one even included a small nibble. Yay!! I am making progress.

After our little game, he stretched out on the other side of the room, at the very edge underneath the bed. I decided to get up and sit next to him. He moved back. I started talking to him, and he relaxed a little. I decided to try a small stroke. I help out my hand so he could sniff, then held it away from the side of his head so he could see me coming. I went in for the pet, he started to charge, then decided just to move away from me. I went back to "my" side of the room. He does spend quite a bit of time over there with me, and every once in a while I attempt a pat or stroke on his back. Sometimes it's quick and done an he doesn't care, other times he jumps away scared to death. I never force more than a quick touch. He did nudge me with his nose a couple of day ago, but I am not sure what that means.

Anyway, I know this is so incredibly long. But someone please help me. I wish I could spend all day in there with him, but it's just not feasible. What else can I do to help him get used to human affection? (I have had my son in there with me playing his ipod and ignoring Bub like I told him to. He has gotten a few sniffs but that's all so far.) What games can I play with him? Am I doing anything wrong? I don't want this rabbit to be miserable, and I know my 5 year old wouldn't be able to "tame" him as well as I can, but I do want Bub and my son to bond as well. Also, this may be a dumb question, but how can I make for certain he is a buck? I can't lift him. Thanks in advance, and again sorry so long. I'm clueless but trying. I didn't want these rabbits, but I am getting attached to Bub without a doubt. I just want him to feel safe and loved, no matter who is in the room with us.

Despite been thrown into this situation, you seem to be taking it in your stride. You seem to be on the right path. Well done!

You sound like an amazing human being to have been able to connect with Bub. It sounds like the poor thing was neglected or even abused. All your patience and kindness is so heartwarming. Bub is so lucky to have found you. I wish that there were more people like you.

I'd suggest taking both rabbits to the vet and having their sexes determined and having them spayed or neutered. There are many benefits of having them spayed/neautered. One benefit is that it makes them less territorial and aggressive - that is it makes them more loving and less destructive. See here for more information, http://rabbit.org/faq-spaying-and-neutering/

On the topic of litter - I use Breeder's Choice recycled paper pellets with no additives or chemicals for litter in a normal litter tray. It lasts a week for two bunnies. http://www.breeders-choice.com.au/

All the best and well done once again for getting this far!

OK, so you were completely right and your husband acted really immature and stupid - if he were my husband, he would sleep on the couch with Bub for a very long time. A rabbit is the worst animal ever for a kid : they are fragile, need to be with very patient people, they don't like being handled and they are costly and hard to maintain in good health.
Kudos to you for trying to do this right, you have all my sympathy. Your rabbit being agressive is completely normal,especially considering there is another rabbit in the house (taking two was the worst idea ever, especially if they turn out to be both male - rabbits are a lot better off living in pairs FEMALE / MALE desexed pairs). They need to eat vegetables, several every day (about 8% of their body weight with 2/3 leafy greens and 1/3 hard vegetables) introduced slowly one by one and, indeed, a lot of hay.
They need to see a vet to be sexed and they need to be neutered / spayed (especially if one of them turn out to be female, which is completely possible - females are a lot more territorial and agressive than males in general). That will cost you around 300$. If you don't want to have untouchable agressive rabbits who will scare your children and/or a rabbit with cancer, you can't not do it.

Also, don't leave a rabbit with a 5 year old. That's a tragic accident waiting to happen. Rabbits can do a lot of damage if a child try to handle them (I've still got a scar from my wrist to my elbow from a 2 kilo buck who didn't want to go inside his pet carrier) and there is about one post a month about a child accidentally killing their pet rabbit by squeezing too hard / dropping them on the rabbit forums I visit.

If you haven't find it yet, I strongly suggest you read this website - they've got good informations about mostly everything :

http://rabbit.org/category/care/diet/

I don't know if your husband is aware of this, but rabbits can live for a very long time. There is a member here who has an 18 year old bunny. Just saying... ^^

laurakm said:

Despite been thrown into this situation, you seem to be taking it in your stride. You seem to be on the right path. Well done!

You sound like an amazing human being to have been able to connect with Bub. It sounds like the poor thing was neglected or even abused. All your patience and kindness is so heartwarming. Bub is so lucky to have found you. I wish that there were more people like you.

I'd suggest taking both rabbits to the vet and having their sexes determined and having them spayed or neutered. There are many benefits of having them spayed/neautered. One benefit is that it makes them less territorial and aggressive - that is it makes them more loving and less destructive. See here for more information, http://rabbit.org/faq-spaying-and-neutering/

On the topic of litter - I use Breeder's Choice recycled paper pellets with no additives or chemicals for litter in a normal litter tray. It lasts a week for two bunnies. http://www.breeders-choice.com.au/

All the best and well done once again for getting this far!

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Thank you, that makes me feel a bit better and was very sweet of you to say. I am planning on finding a vet to have them spayed/neutered as soon as I can afford. Bub will go first, obviously lol.

Aki said:

OK, so you were completely right and your husband acted really immature and stupid - if he were my husband, he would sleep on the couch with Bub for a very long time. A rabbit is the worst animal ever for a kid : they are fragile, need to be with very patient people, they don't like being handled and they are costly and hard to maintain in good health.
Kudos to you for trying to do this right, you have all my sympathy. Your rabbit being agressive is completely normal,especially considering there is another rabbit in the house (taking two was the worst idea ever, especially if they turn out to be both male - rabbits are a lot better off living in pairs FEMALE / MALE desexed pairs). They need to eat vegetables, several every day (about 8% of their body weight with 2/3 leafy greens and 1/3 hard vegetables) introduced slowly one by one and, indeed, a lot of hay.
They need to see a vet to be sexed and they need to be neutered / spayed (especially if one of them turn out to be female, which is completely possible - females are a lot more territorial and agressive than males in general). That will cost you around 300$. If you don't want to have untouchable agressive rabbits who will scare your children and/or a rabbit with cancer, you can't not do it.

Also, don't leave a rabbit with a 5 year old. That's a tragic accident waiting to happen. Rabbits can do a lot of damage if a child try to handle them (I've still got a scar from my wrist to my elbow from a 2 kilo buck who didn't want to go inside his pet carrier) and there is about one post a month about a child accidentally killing their pet rabbit by squeezing too hard / dropping them on the rabbit forums I visit.

If you haven't find it yet, I strongly suggest you read this website - they've got good informations about mostly everything :

http://rabbit.org/category/care/diet/

I don't know if your husband is aware of this, but rabbits can live for a very long time. There is a member here who has an 18 year old bunny. Just saying... ^^

Click to expand...

Yeah, my husband is an idiot without a doubt. Seems I'm always the one to clean up his messes. :/

I have been introducing veggies to the bunnies, as well as bananas in extreme moderation. I really do need to read more....but my issue is the fact that my son JUST started kindergarten, and I am SUPPOSED to be purging the house, then painting, then restarting my at home sewing business. All I can do is read while sitting on the floor with Bub, and that's about all the extra rabbit research time I have.

I am honestly not worried about my children with the rabbits. I explained to both of them that the bunnies do not like being picked up or cuddled. My daughter knows that if her bunny backs away from her touch to leave it be, etc. I'm not one of those "my kids are perfect people" because I'm not, they honestly are irritating brats 98% of the time. (As a stay at home mom with no family close by and summer JUST ending that number may be a bit elevated haha.) But one thing with my kids.....they respect animals. If I tell them what an animal needs or does not need or what we can do to help the animal feel better, they do it. My son does not mess with the rabbit, aside from saying hello while walking by. (At my direction, and not stopping and making eye contact.) Bub is used to his smell as he is in his room, so he does tolerate him being in the room with me on weekends. As I said, I instructed my son to ignore him, and he does. He only sleeps in his room anyway, I can't keep that boy inside for the life of me.

My husband got two (yes, stupidly) because my son's hamster is about to die. She is 3.5 years old, and obviously on the edge. I'm surprised she has lasted this long. But, we had the same situation with her. My darling husband brought her home for a barely 3 year old boy, from a shady pet store that never handled her. She was a biter. Yup, I had to work with her to get her to calm down. I never got her 100% tamed, but enough for me to be able to pick her up, and enough for my son to stroke her back. I know she will cross rainbow bridge happier here than at that store. But, that is why Bub came as well. Chuck the hamster's impending funeral. (And from barely 3 to almost 6 my son never once disobeyed me and messed with that hamster unless I was there with him.) Neither of my children will EVER pick these rabbits up. They were told the rabbits don't like it, and that's the end of it.

As I replied above, I do intend on spay/neuter both of them. My husband does not feel it will be necessary, so again it falls on me, the stay at home mom. I have been selling random things we no longer need/use during my back-to-school purge that was originally meant to buy me a few new outfits. Now those funds are for bunny surgery, once I find a vet around here that does it. Bub first, then bun-bun. My new wardrobe will have to wait until I start sewing again.

I'm glad to hear that two people think I am trying to do this correctly. My biggest worry was "messing" him up even more. He is a cute little thing. I will keep everyone updated on our progress.

Nose nudging is just him getting your attention. He could be asking for you to move out of his way, trying to see what you are doing, asking for head rubs, asking for treats or to be fed, asking you to play. It can have a variety of meanings and you just have to start going through the list of usual things to figure out what it is he's trying to say. If he's actively playing, it's usually them needing you to move or wanting to initiate play with you. If they are just hopping around and don't really seem to be playing, I'll try for head rubs and see if that's what they want.

The circling and looking at you thing that he is doing, might actually be him trying to initiate play with you. With rabbits this usually involves something like hide and seek or follow the leader. You could try crawling towards him and see what he does. If he hops away then looks back at you, then that's probably what he's asking you(to play follow the leader). You could also try the hiding thing too and see what he does. If he wants to play that, you should find that he comes looking for you.

If you normally try to stroke his back when petting, I would suggest to not do that anymore(at least for now) as rabbits don't typically groom each others backs and usually if another rabbit is touching their back it is either to try and mate or a show of dominance. When rabbits mutually groom each other it's usually only the head area that they groom. The forehead, ears, sometimes the cheeks(though some bunnies don't like you touching here). So next time try giving head rubs on the forehead between the eyes. If you pick the right moment(usually after they've played and are tired, or maybe while he's still in his cage), you may find he lays his head right down and lets you continue with the head rubs.

You may find that Bub is actually a girl as the females tend to be the ones that are more territorial about their cages. If so and Bub is a girl, spaying her may help some, but if Bub's behavior is not hormonally driven and is strictly behavioral, then just continuing to work with him/her and gaining Bub's trust is what is going to help most with learned or personality driven behavioral problems. Unfortunately time, patience, and effort are usually the only ways to help. Some rabbits are just more nervous and it just takes time for them to learn that they're safe and that they can trust you. Other rabbits are fine from the start and trust you instantly. Sounds like you got one of both. With spay and neuter, look around. You can sometimes find a vet that will have a more affordable price than others, or sometimes a low cost spay and neuter clinic that does rabbits.

One thing that may assist in your bonding efforts is taken from when you bond rabbits together(after desexing) into groups. If you are sitting with Bub in a bedroom, that may be too much space and you might need to be doing this in a smaller area. If you can, a small bathroom can work, or if you need to keep Bub in your sons room, if you have a puppy play pen you can fence off part of the room with then maybe try that. The reason for bonding in a smaller area is that when you bond rabbits together, sometimes it works best to keep them in a smaller area so that they don't just go to the other side of the room and ignore each other. It can often help to have the smaller area to make them spend more time in closer proximity so they essentially have to get to know each other cause the other rabbit is always within a few feet of them. Once they get to know each other, then they will usually then bond and become friends, or at least tolerate each other enough to be able to live together. This method doesn't always work best for all rabbits, so you just have to figure out what method(more or less space) will work best for you bonding with Bub. It may be you find that a small space doesn't produce good results with Bub and that the larger room works better.

With the chewing behaviors, it might help to give him other approved things to chew. Things like cardboard boxes with entrance and exit holes cut into them. Rabbits usually love these and will often quite enjoy being able to rip them up and destroy them. Providing rabbit safe branches like willow, pear, and apple, can give them something that they are allowed and like to chew on. A dig box can also be a fun activity. It's just a cardboard box or plastic bin filled with crumpled newspaper for them to rip up and dig in. I will usually line the bottom with several layers of newspaper to catch any peeing accidents, then rip up and crumple some of the newspaper and put that over the layers in the box. I don't like to use shredded paper with my rabbits, just because they tend to try and eat it like spaghetti, which too much of isn't good.
http://www.medirabbit.com/EN/GI_diseases/Food/Branch/Branch_en.htm
http://bunnyproof.com/how-to/how-to-make-a-digging-box-for-your-rabbit

For litter, I like wood pellet litter as it absorbs urine and controls the odors well, and is inexpensive. I've tried the paper litter and didn't feel like it worked as well. One thing about switching from a soft litter to pellets, is some buns don't like the feel of the hard pellets on their feet, so you may have to put a soft layer over the top of the pellets. I use hay,which also helps with odor control as well as encouraging hay eating and pooping in the litter box while they eat. If you use hay, it does need to be refreshed

It sounds like you are a very dedicated pet owner and are doing a fabulous job working with Bub. Licking is always a good sign that they are learning to trust you. Not everyone is patient enough to work with a rabbit with behavioral issues. With your son, you may find that as Bub gains more trust in you, that he will also feel more comfortable around your son. And as you get to know Bub better and bond with him more, I think that will also help you know how better to direct your son in bonding with Bub as well.

If you have time, these two links I've found very helpful. One has tips on how you can better bond with your bun, the other is how rabbits communicate so you can better understand what your bun is trying to say to you. And if you aren't sure of something your bun is trying to say, you can always ask here too. Rabbits have a very subtle way of communicating most of the time, and it can be a bit confusing trying to figure out what they are trying to say to us, especially if rabbits are new to you.
http://flashsplace.webs.com/bondingwithyourbunny.htm
http://language.rabbitspeak.com/

I wish I could say more but JBun covered everything!
Good job working with Bub- I'm still working through some behavioral issues with my male rabbit and I've had him for almost two years now!! (He was actively abused and is basically just fearful- so I expect him to take forever to warm up to strangers- he loves me though!). Keep it up and you could find yourself with a very loving bun!

reluctantbubmom said:

Yeah, my husband is an idiot without a doubt. Seems I'm always the one to clean up his messes. :/

I have been introducing veggies to the bunnies, as well as bananas in extreme moderation. I really do need to read more....but my issue is the fact that my son JUST started kindergarten, and I am SUPPOSED to be purging the house, then painting, then restarting my at home sewing business. All I can do is read while sitting on the floor with Bub, and that's about all the extra rabbit research time I have.

I am honestly not worried about my children with the rabbits. I explained to both of them that the bunnies do not like being picked up or cuddled. My daughter knows that if her bunny backs away from her touch to leave it be, etc. I'm not one of those "my kids are perfect people" because I'm not, they honestly are irritating brats 98% of the time. (As a stay at home mom with no family close by and summer JUST ending that number may be a bit elevated haha.) But one thing with my kids.....they respect animals. If I tell them what an animal needs or does not need or what we can do to help the animal feel better, they do it. My son does not mess with the rabbit, aside from saying hello while walking by. (At my direction, and not stopping and making eye contact.) Bub is used to his smell as he is in his room, so he does tolerate him being in the room with me on weekends. As I said, I instructed my son to ignore him, and he does. He only sleeps in his room anyway, I can't keep that boy inside for the life of me.

My husband got two (yes, stupidly) because my son's hamster is about to die. She is 3.5 years old, and obviously on the edge. I'm surprised she has lasted this long. But, we had the same situation with her. My darling husband brought her home for a barely 3 year old boy, from a shady pet store that never handled her. She was a biter. Yup, I had to work with her to get her to calm down. I never got her 100% tamed, but enough for me to be able to pick her up, and enough for my son to stroke her back. I know she will cross rainbow bridge happier here than at that store. But, that is why Bub came as well. Chuck the hamster's impending funeral. (And from barely 3 to almost 6 my son never once disobeyed me and messed with that hamster unless I was there with him.) Neither of my children will EVER pick these rabbits up. They were told the rabbits don't like it, and that's the end of it.

As I replied above, I do intend on spay/neuter both of them. My husband does not feel it will be necessary, so again it falls on me, the stay at home mom. I have been selling random things we no longer need/use during my back-to-school purge that was originally meant to buy me a few new outfits. Now those funds are for bunny surgery, once I find a vet around here that does it. Bub first, then bun-bun. My new wardrobe will have to wait until I start sewing again.

I'm glad to hear that two people think I am trying to do this correctly. My biggest worry was "messing" him up even more. He is a cute little thing. I will keep everyone updated on our progress.

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I feel your pain - when you stay at home people always think you can handle everything and that you have a lot of free time. Even when you really don't. You sound like you're doing the best job you can for now with those rabbits. Desexing should help tremendously with keeping them calm and somewhat good with the litterbox.
If your children are respectful with animals, then there is no problem. Some kids can abide with rules like this while other seem unable to stop themselves from trying to hug / carry creatures ^^'.
I wish you luck with everything. Don't hesitate to ask if you've got questions. About the vet, if you are in the US, maybe someone can tell you where you can find a good rabbit vet (I think the House Rabbit society does give recommendation if you ask them).

I am also a newbie.. keep on reading posts and comments here. You will learn a lot from our experienced friends. Enjoy!